The problem with that one guy being on Paradise now is that I keep picturing him with those fox teeth from Girls5Eva. #maddog #macaronirascals

God bless this firm La Quinta mattress.

When did hotels stop having HBO? I want to watch The Pitt!

But I wanted someone else to die. RIP Catherine O’Hara. You’re an icon.

Ah yes, a new year. I am ready.

Little known fact, while the government is shut down you’re technically allowed to seize the means of production

Don’t promise me a Rapture if you can’t deliver a Rapture.

Oh tough days I like to look back at this old Alex Rubens Tweet I have saved in my phone. Always makes me feel better!

1. The first night sleeping on fresh sheets 2. A fountain Coke 3. Wandering in art museums 4. Reading a perfect sentence 5. The theme song of your favorite TV show

Well at the very least he’s lost the anti-snitch vote.

Isn’t it pretty to think so.

@ryanwinslett.bsky.social I watched the first two Four Seasons and I love it!

Hey. The jerk store called. They want to know if you're still interested in the manager position. Apparently they're willing to meet your salary demands and the benefits sound amazing

Was it me? I didn't realize they could hear me from Arizona.

Clearly the best way to solve this is a duel. That’s what real men would do.

Officially on vacation! Suck it, work!

Why does every guy on the dating application have the same dog?

Am I dying or is it just cloudy?

A sandwich called the the Lady Bee at a restaurant called Once Upon a Moose.

Stocking up on the bras that fit me for the trade wars.

I have tariffed the penguins that are on Heard Island and which you were probably assuming did not export goods forgive me they were taking advantage of us so cunning and so cold

All of this could have been avoided if everyone in America had just watched Continuum.

Hello, void, I will scream into you now.

Didn't that one town elect a dog mayor? Maybe we should try that?

Timed our Severance rewatch so we’ll watch the last episode of season one right before the first episode of season two and I’m very pleased with myself for it. But don’t worry, I will enjoy each episode equally

Merry Happy!

anagramming these “merry christmas” blocks is the only thing my husband has done the entire time we’ve been at his mom’s house

Eight is not enough episodes of anything!

My greatest regret in life is not getting those chunky blonde highlights when they were cool.

Holy shit they did it

The White Elephant at work was contentious. I got a piñata.

Petition to give the woman doing the ALS interpretation for the Barbie movie an Oscar! She's amazing and playing every part!

@ryanwinslett.bsky.social I see what you mean about School Spirits. They didn’t lay any groundwork for that twist at all. That’s what I hate most about these short seasons. Things that could have been seeded in a longer season come out of nowhere.

Me watching the soup scene and frantically thinking: oh no! Is it gonna be cold?!

Oh I did not realize how much I needed The Gilded Age back. It’s job is hats. 👒🎩

Day Five of COVID isolation. Have been alone with the internet and sitcom reruns for too long.

Boosted!

Saturday night: taking a Benadryl allergy and passing out by ten.

Attempting to make an authentic New York Deli style potato salad. Apparently it takes two days.

My yogurt expired today. (Please let the medical examiner know if it goes wrong.)

Friday night: laundry is in the washing machine, watching the Project Runway finale with a non-dairy Cherry Garcia cone. This is 40. #peace

Ungrateful cat plays with tag from sweater while inches away the human-grade toys I spent too much money on sit ignored.

@ryanwinslett.bsky.social I need the doctor on this week’s Reservation Dogs to do a season of In Treatment!

There's an actress in ER who I don't recognize so I thought, Oh she must have only been in the first season. Nope. She's in every episode of ER.

This Thursday's got a real Friday feel and it's bumming me out.

I've decided to use this strike time to finally watch ER. #paywriters #payactors

The problem here is that I don't know my audience well enough to post. I'll just have to assume you all love cats.

Went on a home tour today. I’m assuming this house is used as an AirBNB because no human would hang this in their own bedroom, right?

Just out here trying to follow that perfect mix of book writers, TV writers, comedians and cats.

I thought COVID killed the handshake. Why are strangers still touching me?