If I didn't want Americans to label me a "poltical actor" I simply would stop exclusively doing overtly political actions to help the Republican Party subvert elections

Thanks for running this one @mcsweeneys.net In fairness, also inspired in part by how much $ my parents wasted on swimming lessons for me growing up and my wicked witch like properties in water. Much like POTUS polling numbers, deeply underwater

Oh man, does Caro not have an exit strategy for this either?

A chicken in every pot

Huh. I wonder what the N might stand for?

This man for sure going to lead the ABA in charges drawn this season

My dude learned absolutely nothing from TLC

What if you conveniently just developed bone spurs @carlquintanilla.bsky.social Still registered?

Can't even enjoy #TacoTuesday with TFG as President 🌮🇺🇲🦅

Honestly, just thrilled Todd Golden is reporting assault now

Counteroffer: his יארצייט can be a federal holiday

That Petey Pablo banger is probably my favorite song about taking your shirt off and twisting around your head like a helicopter

CBS said it was purely a financial decision

Excellent point And another reason we just need full ABS and not challenges Soto would have won his challenge earlier though

Too good a game to end like this. #ABSNow #HawkeyeForMLB

Game recognize game. This is exactly how I feel whenever I submit to @mcsweeneys.net @crmonks.bsky.social

Isn't the rest of the world angry enough at the US right now?

Any word on how this might effect the chances of seeing a repeat FIFA Peace Prize Winner @henrybushnell.bsky.social ?

Yeah it for sure does. Can confirm.

Huh. It worked. #LucasBeingManny

Okay sure. But now ask the question about how many of your fellow citizens have hockey gold from the 2026 Winter Olympics 🇺🇸🇨🇦🏒

If @housedemocrats.bsky.social win the gavel this fall they don't HAVE to invite him for a SOTU right? Submit a letter like every POTUS before Woodrow Wilson. Then release that along with his taxes, medical records, and of course.... #StateOfTheUnion #SOTU #STFUDJT

Oh Gorsuch gonna be big mad when he finds out about gambling at Rick's gin joint

Uhhhh @rexhuppke.bsky.social the US declared independence because it didn't want to be ruled by a historically insane dictator who imposed arbitrary taxes on trade and abused the criminal justice system America would never. Right. Right? Ri-

Thanks as always @mcsweeneys.net for running this. Remember, super important to the median swing voter that Bezos position Blue Origin for DOD contracts by destroying what's left of the @washingtonpost.com and that dumb Melania movie. Shame Leni Riefenstahl ghost wasn't around to direct.

Musical nazis was much better in The Producers

Similar to my review of Anna Karenina

We can rule out Bruce Wayne because no tech billionaire would be on the correct side of history here

Cc Anne Boleyn

Sure, yeah, but the price of eggs ARE down like $1.09 a dozen from a year ago

Qatar Force One wouldn't have these "electrical problems"

23% need to think a little harder

Oh thank goodness. Just what the LAD needed. Left handed power.

So your health insurance goes up and inflation stays high so we can have a huge ballroom to meet with oil executives? Cool form of populism

So long as the subject is NOT the economy, your Healthcare, his health, Epstein. He is happy.

Legit feel bad for Malik Willis that ,based on history, he will have to go play for the Jets after a HOF career in GB.

Same thing but its now report card season.

Hey Elon looks like that hilarious "irony man" sketch you pitched for SNL would have worked.

Oh FIFA and your fake peace prize

This is like a Chat GPT summary of the Republican Party in 2025

The worst part of this story is that Dave Portnoy thinks he is someone people in the Jewish community look up to. No. We don't.

Tough loss for Mudville today with 2 in scoring position and Casey at the bat. Still shocked they pitched to him with 2 outs and 1B open. But a 3 pitch K so hard to argue with the result.

KC took CEH. Could have had JT. Imagine

Inconceivable to the dog someone could go to the basement for a reason OTHER than getting him kibble

Oh no. Where will they screen Birth of a Nation now?

Arguably his most normal health routine @peterbukowski.bsky.social

If you lose your hat in the dream you lose your hat in real life @oldfriend99.bsky.social

If this is conditional on Enzo Fernández switching to USMNT then I would be on board www.reuters.com/world/americ...