Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
@bourbonteddy.bsky.social
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My brain is writing checks that my brain can't cash.
about 2 months ago
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Oh good, my annual National Parks pass came in the mail. I can't wait to see what beautiful nature photo they used this year.
3 days ago
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TIL that Picante sauce can go bad. OTOH - free penicillin - so it's kind of a six/half dozen situation.
4 days ago
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reposted by
Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
Obi-Juan
7 days ago
Roman soldiers outside of Jesus's empty tomb. Circa 33 AD., coloured.
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April's Fool Moon
11 days ago
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I had so many Polish-American friends in college and not a single one of them ever told me about Dyngus Day aka Wet Monday? Is this their version of being invited to the cookout and I didn't make the cut?
11 days ago
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I do not want your opinion on rap or hip-hop if you don't even know what industry rule number 4080 is.
22 days ago
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People asked a lot of questions today that were indirectly answered by my t-shirt.
22 days ago
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A group of older white men co-presenting together is called an interruption.
26 days ago
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If I know the Democrats - and I think I do - they will figure out a way to make the job harder.
add a skeleton here at some point
27 days ago
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A durian. So smelly your enemies will beg to surrender to you.
add a skeleton here at some point
about 1 month ago
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reposted by
Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
ennie
about 1 month ago
Gillenwater v. Home Depot Inc., No. 20-CV-10338-DJC, 2022 WL 17363508, at *6 (D. Mass. Dec. 1, 2022) (coworker's habit of calling plaintiff "p diddy," years prior to Sean Combs' indictment on sex crimes charges, insufficient to establish hostile working environment). Citation is an art form.
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One of the attorneys in another department brought her daughter down the hall to meet me because she "didn't know boys could be attorneys."
about 1 month ago
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Beginning to think the White Lotus theme composer listened to the intro to Watermelon Man by Herbie Hancock a lot.
about 1 month ago
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I usually tune out the people yelling and fighting down on the street below the office but this guy chanting "everything in America is broken! Stop going to work, it's bullshit!" for the last ten minutes is making some solid points.
about 1 month ago
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God gives her toughest ink stains to the shirts of her strongest soldiers.
about 1 month ago
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Me: I had a dream that I booked the wrong flight and they had no more delta one seats left. Then I wandered around the plane and ran into my HS prom date (platonic) and we started kissing. Lady Bear: YOU PUT ME IN COACH? And that's on being a few weeks away from 20 years or marriage.
about 1 month ago
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In case you were curious this woman I worked with 18 years ago just paid her kid's tutor, bought some Girl Scout cookies and doesn't know her Venmo is set to public.
about 1 month ago
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Most of my humor is self-deprecating but this morning I punched down on the most irritating person in the office to his subordinate and it made her day. I regret nothing.
about 1 month ago
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I am pretty sure that I did not actually walk 150k steps today Apple.
about 1 month ago
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Someone just referred to a 63-year old as a senior citizen and even though I'm still (barely) in my early 50s I found this quite disturbing.
about 1 month ago
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Seeing this in person was wild as hell. (Derogatory)
about 1 month ago
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Donald "The Dove" Trump, FIFA Peace Prize recipient, and founder and Chairman for Life of the Board of Peace, initiated a first strike against Iran because of its nuclear weapons program that he destroyed completely last year.
about 1 month ago
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My brain is writing checks that my brain can't cash.
about 2 months ago
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If you ask your Ring Camera if it's a cop it is not allowed to spy on you.
about 2 months ago
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Now that I am a manager I only review litigation tasks but told my team I wanted to personally respond to the latest e-mail from opposing counsel. Sir, you have now unleashed five years of pent up lawyer snark. Where's my thesaurus?
about 2 months ago
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Reflexively used the term “Chinese wall” recently. Immediately said “I am so sorry there’s probably a non-troglodyte way of saying that” - and then I had to explain two things.
about 2 months ago
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I feel like confusing a balloon with a drone and then shooting at it would get you drug tested at a warehouse job.
about 2 months ago
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Even he couldn't stand to watch the TPUSA halftime show.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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In my head I keep pronouncing the TPUSA halftime show like King Julien talking about the foosa.
2 months ago
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FedEx just sent me a text notifying me that even though my package is delayed it will arrive by 1/29.
2 months ago
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Five Classes I took in College: Modern Political Thought Human Sexuality Medieval History Criminological Research Methods Earth Science: Astronomy & Meteorology
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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Administration is considering screening Melania in immigration detention centers to get people to self deport. Supreme Court will ultimately have to resolve a circuit split about whether this would constitute an 8th amendment violation.
2 months ago
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Back at the spa for a massage and when I laid down she told me to "breathe in and clean my mind." No es posible señora.
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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Puffing and never passing
add a skeleton here at some point
2 months ago
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On vacation and about to get a mani pedi at the spa, but butching it up by calling it a manual/pediual
3 months ago
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Just inserted the tip AND adjusted the strap.
3 months ago
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reposted by
Bourbon Loving Teddy Bear
NY Times Pitchbot
3 months ago
We told you we all needed weapons to defend ourselves against a future government that would shoot us in the streets. What we didn’t tell you is that we have helped bring you that government. by the NRA
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Last night I dreamed the impossible dream. I was missing a class during 2L because I was taking a deposition in NYC.
3 months ago
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Someone at work just sent a message about a banana "peele"
3 months ago
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Why bother there's nothing great happening out here
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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Greenland Iceland Maryland what’s the difference
3 months ago
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What’s your sign? (You damn right)
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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"Martha Luther King Junior." "What did he do?" "He died for our sins." That kid cracks me up every time
3 months ago
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"She's dead." "Ah...nature's NDA." ☠️
3 months ago
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Last night my 11 year old niece discovered that I have been married twice and said "HOW!?!"
3 months ago
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I did!
add a skeleton here at some point
3 months ago
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A Boulevardier. Do I have Campari?
3 months ago
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I bet Facebook has been a shit show the past few weeks, but I may have to spend my Monday on there calling out hypocrites posting MLK quotes.
3 months ago
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My mom (talking to her friend in my presence): My daughter is my head child and my son is my heart child. She is very smart and analytical, and he’s very caring. Me:
3 months ago
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