went outside

I feel evil and hate in my heart every minute I am not home or doing something fun

“Hey why is everyone finally here from the NAZI SITE” there’s a 2016 Facebook/tumblr energy here and I need you guys to admit that to yourselves before I can commit completely

Going to take my fat fuck (very average and healthy weight, just very sleepy) dog on a walk after work with all these extra hours of daylight

Did not sleep last night because I was so excited to see the sun again

Front Bottoms knife commission 🔪

I like that gambling has become the millennial/gen z cigarette ad. We almost made it…… but missing this algorithmic parlay by one is sooooo cool

Sorry KILLWXVE, I'm not interested in what you post. That's why I didn't follow you back the first time you followed me

Twitter down? That’s fine I got you guys

I want to kill myself in a cooler more mysterious way than you

I like that the general consensus of life is yeah of course it fucking sucks when it literally doesn’t have to

Changed my septum jewelry for the first time in 6 years and having an identity crisis

I’m the person my mom would be if she went to therapy

High as fuck going damn I would love some vegetables

Slept for a week

Having a lollipop. It’s been a long time. This is good stuff.

prime video shows me that anybody can make a movie (derogatory)

Anywho. Cleaned the airfryer. A job many are unfamiliar with. And I get it. Just keep frying that shit. It’s not worth it ever.

All those tequila doubles and Tito’s sodas last weekend killed whatever germ inside of me before it could even think about incubating.

So basically no one is ever allowed to have fun without me

Ways I’ve gotten sick in the past two months - sharing drinks - someone else had fun without me Ways I’ve survived sickness - bar hopping

For years we’ve worried about if someone will like us without makeup, but the true test is if they still think you’re beautiful in your Cinderella before the ball look. That insane Adam Sandler Saturday morning outfit to scrub the back of the oven fit. Then you’ll know.

Fat fucking tits disorder

People dying that never died before

Personally. I think I smell good as fuck

My BO is otherworldly. Take that as you will.

Hope my penis veil is having a good time in the city of brotherly love

I should have known

might take up shitting myself at work

I don’t buy stickers, they magically bless me with their presence

Maybe it’s the Prozac but holy shit I don’t give a fuck

I have been hungry for 3 days straight. Ravenous. Not sure what else I can eat. May resort to bones and all.

Dumped my balls into the local water systems and they’re saying it’s the worst ecological disaster since the Cleveland balloonfest of 1986

i don't have a stanley cup but here's my vape

Need this

Been doing some Instagram reel browsing and I can see why the nation is very stupid

I always wanted to get in credit card debt. Very happy to announce that I achieved my goal

I can’t stop singing same love by macklemore

Exhilarating knowing I’m one of the few to know what space smells like now

@lilbh0le.bsky.social got me the disgusting space perfume and it’s really not that bad and yet. I couldn’t stop gagging when I smelled it. I love it so much

I’ve never been so tired in my god damn life

Wish I was home doing this

Thrifted this haunted clown picture. Just letting you guys know in case I die mysteriously

Allegedly, bingo was his name-o, your honor

Awake thinking about the matinee showing of The Monkey later

I’m hyped up on 12 pm adderall. It’s my Friday. I pick up jordan in 9 hours. My seamstress hasn’t cancelled on me for the bajillionth time. I’m going to have a fun weekend. THE UNIVERSE IS ON MY SIDE

Water is so good. A shame I forget to drink it.

Things are happening this weekend that I’m not fully aware of and I’ve been breaking out over it but it’s a lesson on relinquishing control and being soooo fun and sexy!