Earlier today I heard someone say that they're going to stick Mitch McConnell's brain into John Fetterman's body like Krang and I have no self control

Wocka wocka wocka.

I get the impression Australia are annoyed that they haven't won the two most recent world cups.

While Australia cruise against England today, let's revisit this classic piece of shite writing from The Guardian after the 2023 Women's Ashes.

NO 👇 LIES DETECTED

The ICC have infinite money. You aren't convincing me that the best they could get for the women's world cup final in 2026 was Rita Ora.

A few weeks earlier another French designer had introduced a skimpy one-piece swimsuit called the 'atome'. The introduction of the bikini allowed Reard to joke that he had 'split the atome'.

Not as good as Springsteen's cover of A Rainy Night In Soho, but still fun.

Hi hello I was going to do a full thread on the Great American State Fair later but it seems I'm starting early: why in the fuck are PragerU, Patriot Academy, and other far right groups the ENTIRETY of the Department of Education booth

Paraguay are CONMEBOL, but the Shermans as ever have to make it about them.

That might have been the worst officiated game I've seen since the Uruguay game in 86.

I hope the referee and the Paraguayans all get explosive diarrhoea.

Oh, hey. Another red card offence. WTF are the officials doing?

new romantasy dedicated bookshop is opening in Oxford today and 10/10, no notes

Giving a guy who has spent most of his career refereeing games in the Uzbek superleague control of a last-16 match at the World Cup has been a resounding success, imo.

The great thing about this Paraguay team is that they accept the decisions that go against them with such good grace.

How the fuck do Paraguay still have 11 men in the park? This is fucking ridiculous.

This referee is an absolute disgrace.

This Paraguay team are quite loathsome.

I have such an expertly curated algorithm that I'm seeing posts from Mexican street food restaurants in the US and this is how they're advertising the game tomorrow night. "Good vibes"

Saw this ad for a goat on Facebook. It’s perhaps the greatest advert I’ve ever read. It’s just superb.

"You'll never reach 25K followers with a very niche aviation site purely for obsessives" Prove this right or wrong by sharing or not as you wish.

"I'd rather be us than them?" 🤔 @T_Deeney is not buying Jesse Marsch's post match comments 🇨🇦

Meanwhile in Mexico, they’re busy hiding all their cultural landmarks so the English don’t haul them off to the British Museum.

*Enormous line of excited emojis*

RIP to the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah.

Jul 4th 1881 - Little Bill (Gene Hackman) arrests English Bob for a concealed weapon. 📽️📅 Unforgiven (1992)

god. we can't have anything nice anymore. 90 years prison for people using photorealistic AI to deceive others.

It's nice, but it's no Bergkamp in 98.

Scotland are shit, but we aren't 'having a Souttar brother take a penalty in a shootout' shit.

Congratulations to Cristiano Ronaldo, who at the 9th attempt, finally has as many goals in World Cup knockout matches as Ellyse Perry.

Look at these fucking cunts.

Ad Rock: you can disagree with the current All: POPE MCA: but if you push his buttons then you’re a All: DOPE Mike D: ordain yourself a bishop and you’re All: SCHISMATIC Ad Rock: excommunication is All: AUTOMATIC

Very easy.

"Who's that little fat guy? We'll murder this lot." - Some English twat looking at Puskas in the tunnel before Hungary gubbed them for the first time.

England football punditry is a sliding turnover of the previous generations of England Big Striker Guys endlessly praise the current England Big Striker Guy. Lineker had to be cycled out and Shearer graduated to commentator to make space for Rooney all praising Kane, who will join them in ~10 years.

On the plus side, the last time England played a World Cup game at the Azteca, it went *extremely* well.

¡Vamos México!

Shabana Mahmood reluctantly deletes email announcing the deportation of Thomas Tuchel.

Ah, well. Fun while it lasted.

CEAT TIRES STRATEGIC HYDRATION BREAK.

1974

FUCK.

Torn between wanting England to lose tonight and wanting to see Kylian Mbappé v Djed Spence.

Excellent work so far, Agent Tuchel.

Also want to note the DR Congo kits are very good and the England kits are very, very bad.

The secret to comedy is timing

Meanwhile in The Sun newsroom, someone is suggesting a headline that references Um Bongo.