On one hand, I’m pumped for that Moomintroll thing that Rebecca Sugar’s involved with. On the other, I’m seriously concerned that the masses are gonna see Sugar’s name on it and strip the flesh off its bones in a blind rage because that one shitty video essay about Bismuth

Doc: Hayyy daaaave. Turns out you're pre-diabetic but it's in a manageable range, so diet and exercise like hell and we'll check on you in four months or so. Me: Say no more, fam. FIFTY ZACK FAIR SQUATS GO GO GO GO GO ... Anyway it's been two days and I'm still waddling like a fucking penguin

”Red delicious apple” - first lie I was ever told

Looks like I bagged the X005 slot again. Hell yeah. #scp #9kcon scp-wiki.wikidot.com/9000contestd...

If one more person suggests drinking apple cider vinegar to me as either tasty, medicine, or an alternative to soda, I swear to God and all His saints and angels that I’ll fabricate a peer-reviewed research study about the dietary benefits of slamming one’s face into a belt sander.

Happy Indigenous Peoples Day! What the fuck is a colambus

On a related note, I just realized: if I were to hypothetically run a wholesome coffeeshop AU 40k campaign with a separate set of rules and statistics for cuddling skills and talking about one’s feelings - would anyone be able to stop me?

Zombies used to scare me, but then I remembered we’re protected from the undead by the Gobal SGV Array (Seagulls and Vultures)

Saw this movie last night and Jesus Humperdinck Christ I was not drunk enough for whatever the hell was going on vimeo.com/68372410?fl=...

Rephrased: Renewables overtake coal as world's biggest source of electricity

Yo, my 9kcon entry needs some more sets of eyes on it! scp-wiki.wikidot.com/9000contestd...

Saw my boss get carried off by a large bird in my dream and I can’t take her seriously today

Concept art by Mary Blair for Disney's ICHABOD AND MR. TOAD (1949). #wardsmorguefile #moreartlessdoom

I feel like this isn't said nearly enough for people who are new to dating, so... "She doesn't want to have sex with you because you're a bad person." (This is true for some.) "You're a bad person because she doesn't want to have sex with you." (This is NOT the same thing and is NEVER true.)

god it's even worse than I remembered. i am literally begging you to contact a psychiatrist

Amazon digitally removing guns from Bond is stupid, BUT it’s the closest we’ll get to a gay 007. I know Connery is somewhere churning in his urn!

You're going to have a lot of expectations about what your life is supposed to be like at any given point. Have this figured out by *now*, have that established by *then* Pretty much all of these are nonsense. Other people's yardsticks. Don't worry about any of them. Your life, your pace.

let the gourd times roll

adding a twist to grandma’s cake recipe flour beetles #DailyHaikuPrompt #SenryuSunday #senryu

Playing FF Tactics Advance after FF Tactics is the craziest tonal whiplash. FFT: Class division and a corrupt church have trapped the world in an endless cycle of war, oppression, manipulation, and suffering. FFTA: people were mean to me at school so I jumped in a magic book to play with moogles

Playstation FF protags be like: Cloud: Sick-ass sword combos Squall: Sick-ass gunblade combos Zidane: Super Saiyan twink shit Ramza: Levels up by screaming, becomes immune to fireballs by converting to atheism for five minutes, kills everyone on the screen by doing a math problem in an apron

Nice fucking try, Google Time Assassin

SHE’S A GATOR COOP! ANTHROPOMORPHIC STYLE! BREASTS THE SIZE OF LARGE WATERMELONS AND IS WIDE AS THE DAY IS LONG! SHE HAS A TRUCKER CAP ON AT ALL TIMES EVEN WHEN WEARING ATTIRE NOT SUITED FOR SUCH A HAT!

Important update:

Sorry about the radio silence of late, running a streak of shitty mental health days to see if I can win a toaster once I hit double digits

I still can’t get over how Michelangelo basically drew women as his base man model but with tits

Beat Borderlands 4. Honestly? I enjoyed it a lot more than 3. The villain actually felt intimidating, the writing took an upgrade (Gods help me, I actually laughed at Claptrap’s jokes this time), and I’m looking forward to the DLC. (Here’s hoping we see Brick, Mordy, & Tina again soon…)

And now, three Neverstone characters I've had yet to integrate into my silly neon-style designs -- until now! #neverstone #litrpg #urbanfantasy #characterdesign

Another amazing wonderful commission from my amazing wonderful writer friend daveyoufool.sky.social !! Era Gualtieri when not being a sad wet cat, hopelessly love sick, or small is a fucking badass. Read Neverstone y'all #myart #neverstone #fantasy #elf #eragualtieri #commission

I wasn’t expecting The Hanged Man to warrant an Adult Content warning. Not complaining, just unexpected.

I really need you guys to internalize this. Government and corporations ripped Kimmel off the air for lightly badmouthing their behavior. Coordinated pushback by us is what forced them to cave in and put Kimmel back on air. Again. The fascists caved in *due to coordinated pushback.*

Went to the Fall Ride in Wisconsin this year. (Not a motorcyclist myself, but was visiting friends.) They ended up having a bonfire with this stuffed sloth Midsommar-ing itself at the top. Felt bad because I assigned too much personality in my head to this sloth. I might be going insane.

last year I started making bilgerat, a full mashup album of Charli XCX's "brat" and various Alestorm songs. unfortunately that isn't ready yet for this year's Talk Like a Pirate Day. i don't know what I will do for this year

SCP-9000: The Hanged Man. 50% gut-wrenching angst, 45% silly, 5% the Empire Carpet jingle. scp-wiki.wikidot.com/9000contestd...

Nice to see a dalek cast as Sherlock finally

Hold on. I want to see billionaires do this on a live tech demo based on the AI technology they say will change the world. Make this the Opening Ceremony at Davos. (Bonus points if we can get some Dalek-themed backdrops.)

Win or Lose, I WILL use this 9kcon entry to make Gilbert & Sullivan’s Ruddigore relevant again. For fuck’s sake, it had the first Halloween song in an opera

If this isn't your response to doomerism I don't want to know you

There are still people in the world who look at me like I just asked them for 19 consecutive blowjobs when I say “Super Mario Logan’s depiction of the mentally disabled is genuinely fucking reprehensible.“ I’m so goddamn tired.

!! WARNING !! AN [OBJECT/IDEA/ENEMY] IS APPROACHING AT FULL THROTTLE ACCORDING TO THE DATA, IT IS IDENTIFIED AS "SCP-9000" THEME: [STRUCTURES/CONSTRUCTS/PATTERNS] ARRIVAL TIME: IMMINENT ANALYSIS: NO REFUGE scp-wiki.wikidot.com/scp9000conte...

Erasmus Gualtieri, a.k.a. Era, a.k.a. Slasher, a.k.a. the Mad Elf - outlaw, fencer, philosopher, madman. Thought I'd draw him looking as badass as he is for a change. Read this weirdo's story: linktr.ee/neverstone #litrpg #urbanfantasy #author #elf

if Jimmy Kimmel's political humor is too hot for you to handle, I'm not sure "snowflake" even cuts it as a term of derision for the level of fragility you've achieved

SCP-9000: the Hanged Man is finished. I would suggest that when y’all read it on friday, pay careful attention to the content warnings…

Can't wait to ruin your lives this Friday~~ #SCP #scp9000 #9kcon

Got started on Borderlands 4. And you know what? … I’m having fun. Amon is best boi.

I think Chappelle Roan deserves more recognition for the fact that she made the first rhyme with Saskatchewan since the Muppet Movie

*Begrudgingly changes the title of my 9k again because the process of writing is chaotic and unforgiving* THE HANGED MAN. LAST KCON WAS THE FOOL IT’S THE HANGED MAN NOw HIM dANGLE