Arby’s Reclassifies Their Food As Entertainment https://theonion.com/arbys-reclassifies-their-food-as-entertainment/

'Gays Too Precious To Risk In Combat,' Says General

Nation Demands More Jobs Where You Steer Ship With Big Wooden Wheel https://theonion.com/nation-demands-more-jobs-where-you-steer-ship-with-big-1851177876/

Nothing like 1984 Dune. Alia is such a vibe.

Been wearing a SMRT watch ⌚, my old phone could do everything this smart watch does. Damn shitty upgrades. Well I walk to much at work, 8 miles a day give or take. 40ish a week, no wonder I'm tired all the time

A year late but checking out #Expedition33 one of my favorite streamers @jesscapricorn.bsky.social played it and I had to stop watching the streams so I'd not get spoiled. Dr. Colton Marmalade is ready and excited just like me.

This is so many of y'all rn

Conventional wisdom: "Don't touch wild animals." Wild animals: -cute -round -soft -eminently touchable

Family Lets Cars Come Inside House During Snowstorm https://theonion.com/family-lets-cars-come-inside-house-during-snowstorm-1819577405/

I love randomly barking and being a gremlin.

I hate waiting at the Doctor's, do you have any games on your phone?!

I was excited for a bit for my 44th next month. Now? I don't care and don't want anything. Amazing what a simple act can cause a crash out. You give but people just steal

girl.

Mood

Sleepy pups

You have sunstroke. You've been poisoned. You must feel nauseous. You're all well now. What a great doctor I am! Who do you want to see? was just brought in, and is still unconscious. Please pay $ for the doctor's fee. Yes No Your friend, right? ... It's very serious.

Gifted Youngster Sells Cookies To Buy Attack Ad

Heroic Dog Saves Family Of 5 From Herb-Roasted Chicken https://theonion.com/heroic-dog-saves-family-of-5-from-herb-roasted-chicken/

They made a cooking show about this?!

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

'Tis the season! theonion.com/ho-ho-ho-im-...

important

your teen years will be ruined just because you didn't buy an Egg.

New Poll Finds 86 Percent Of Americans Don't Want To Have A Country Anymore https://theonion.com/new-poll-finds-86-percent-of-americans-dont-want-to-hav-1819568337/

Toooongue

I'm at the combination

Typing into the void helps, even a little bit.

I lost the traction I was making with my nails and cuticles, chewed them right up. Back to old horrible habits

Maybe sleeping in the car will brighten my mood, make me feel homeless again.

Panic attack? Existential crisis? On my husband's birthday? More likely than you think.

Why does anyone keep me around? Just to pay bills? I'm as interesting as wet cardboard.

I fuck everything up. A waste of space at 40. I really should have died years ago.

Woops

You guys can't envision the final collapse of capitalism? Incredible!

Goodbye our little ray of sunshine.He was totally fine then I heard a weird sound and he was twitching.He passed in minutesMy heart can't take it anymore after 17 babies over 6years. Moose Teddy Gus Colby Calvin Grandpa Earl Ziggurat Cruton Science Sputnik Pitch Hector Binx Cysco Stanley Prismo

White House   Maid Shrieks After Spotting    Melania  On Ceiling

girl.

My final inktober post/video, a round up of all 31 images (32 if you count my original pen test!) Please blow this up! I worked really hard this month and I’m so proud! And thank you to everyone who supported me through commissions or kind words throughout!

“The human body is able to do some incredible things if you consume enough lead,” said the secretary of health and human services

Sun cooked chicken breast. I love you Prismo.

Mascot Doing Fentanyl Fold

Remember kids! It's Friday in California

Morning dose of wild lot rabbit. We have a family of 4 to 6 this summer. I hope they stay warm for winter, I do feed them once in a while.

Nation’s Indigenous People Confirm They Don’t Need Special Holiday, Just Large Swaths Of Land Returned Immediately https://theonion.com/nation-s-indigenous-people-confirm-they-don-t-need-spec-1839033177/