he will die in prison

19 years ago I became fluent in 11 languages.

I am personal friends with Jade. Tell everyone that I am personal friends with Jade. We text and send each other memes.

@popcrave.com today is the 8th anniversary of Fergie’s National Anthem performance at the NBA All-Star Game and you haven’t skeeted about it yet

When Jade sings Frozen tomorrow, it will mark the end of winter in Boston.

I got a Valentine’s Day reservation for PAMMY’S for me and my boyfriend and if you are familiar you are very impressed

Happy Valentine’s Day from my fly swatter

You would have to spell it Lady Gaguita, with the U. “Gagita” would be pronounced gah HEE ta. Let’s not gif this up this time.

I hope Cecily Strong is in a commercial tonight!!

If you are 35 years old or older, every single player on the field today is younger than you.

Charlie Puth singing the anthem at the Super Bowl? Mama THAT’S gay rights!

Addison Rae has long thick legs a tarantula

absolutely not

Bebe Rexha is AI but wet Zara Larsson is AI but dry

happy new year’s steve

DM if you want the whole thing

I hope the Tulkun people have a nice Christmas

🚨🚨🚨CELERIAC HIVVVVVE🚨🚨🚨

today’s affirmation: I am within the acceptable range of deviation. I am a perfectly roasted quail. if I was a car the mechanics would find nothing weird or rodent related in my air filter. I am upright. There are no stones or excess debris in my shoes. I still have all my bones.

Doing Christmas cards this year, and really surprising myself with the number of people I need to text “what is your husband’s name”

Made Jane Krakowski laugh hard at the stage door last night. What the fuck have YOU done with your life?

I cannot emphasize enough that I signed a lease today for an apartment above a wig shop

I just keep reading this. It’s perfect. The speaker. The quote. The choice to use the verb “confessed.” The deeply suspicious em-dashes.

sweet dreams my loves

Anyway I did get raptured but I’m back because YouTube Premium doesn’t work up there

Based on this information from Ticketmaster dot com, what day is the Jade presale for Boston?

Only 30 years left until I’m 69

My new start up idea is one of those coke machines where you can make your own blend but for cream cheese.

did I see that you can upload your own gifs here now

Went to lunch at Via Carota so that Taylor Swift could congratulate me on getting a new job

Have you all watched The Studio yet or are you still a dumb asshole jerk

Visibly heterosexual man catcalled my mustache out of his car window as I walked along the highway yesterday. “You’ve got a beautiful mustache, bro,” he squealed, as I achieved gender nirvana

Lil diva puss come out 😻

Buying myself a Culture Award for Gay Guy, Not Normal

If you only have Peacock and not Bravo you can get The Culture Awards here #LCCA: thetvapp.to/tv/bravo-liv...

who up sealing with they honmoon?

Grand! Champions! The most beautiful horses ✨in the world✨

did a triathlon today. you’ve got to pump it up

My friend got nominated for an Emmy yesterday in costume design and we are in ptown and he told me to change my shirt tonight and I didn’t

Bryan lives in Everett - Boston needs to build the North-South Connector so that he can visit Amaya on a one-seat trip!! Their blossoming love cannot survive the additional burdens of a transfer!

Does Cierra have her phone back yet

Have been experiencing multiple nightmares about Huda this week. The most vivid was that child protection services placed her daughter with me, and I had to undo all the psychic damage she has endured.

the true meaning of pride is bloomf bathroom selfies @ditzcarlton.bsky.social compliment his eyelashes even though they aren’t prominent here

Protesting is lit. so fun

The Heat and Legally Blonde got knocked out in the first round, this is not valid

A trusted source told me that they’re ending the show with an Audra/Patti duet of Take Me Or Leave Me

What did JLo have Affleck do at Fenway

me getting my first unemployment check

Starting the new season of The Rehearsal as my plane taxis to take off. I’m sure this is a good idea and perfect timing.

I’m dangerously close to learning what a labubu is, and I’m going to be furious at all of you when that does eventually happen