It will surprise no one that 35yo James Watson met his wife while she was a 19 year old undergrad working as an assistant to his secretary.

In the words of Borges, the idiosyncratic bestiary in this patent application "exerts chaos" (US20210137137)

I think a lot about when the Supreme Court stepped in to protect us from the unchecked executive powers of ... "administrative patent judges."

A blanket that converts into a cape. US Patent 9155341 (issued to "Super Blanky LLC")

This will kill kids.

Coarse and strong and cunning

Neurologist: Name animals with four legs. Trademark Lawyer: Vonk, billyhoo, bofti, nooberdoober... Neurologist: (waves in orderlies) Trademark Lawyer: fanciful is best! Get these restraints off me!

Neurologist: Name animals with four legs. Patent Lawyer: Spider, ladybug, centipede, butterfly ...

Riverbottom Nightmare Band at the Hideout, December 2013

This is the shit that happened two blocks from my house this morning and 15 minutes before kids were set to parade through the neighborhood in their halloween costumes.

A baseball cap with a magnetic logo so you can quickly swap out your allegiance. US Patent 12262771

To this day (literally, see image) people are still trying to perfect the non-pneumatic tire, and they have filed around 8000 patent applications. The fact that we mostly still use regular air-filled tires shows what a great invention they are.

Design patent on the likeness of a living individual🤔 (Young Liu of Foxconn)

A punching bag that's also a mirror. US Patent 12440743

My latest for @blockclubchi.bsky.social Chicago Cyclists Are Buying Out Tamale Carts To Keep Vendors Home And Safe From ICE blockclubchicago.org/2025/10/17/c...

Today’s “tricky Thursday” NYT crossword felt particularly timely and sneakily subversive. I LOL’d when I realized what the theme was.

Patented today: a sofa that works as an emergency floatation device. US 12440033

This chyron in any other age would have the general populace screaming.

It's Tuesday and while the government may be shut down, the Patent Office is still open and churning out a new 1,381 design patents for our enjoyment and critique, including D1096067 issued for a pocket tie. The disclaimed fireworks are a nice touch. #DesignPatents

IP litigator, Patent Prosecutor, Trademark Attorney

for the first time ever wishing our current electeds would ask themselves: what would an angry Daley do

What Chicago looks like where there are no feds. Thousands of people having fun buying beer, cider, and donuts at the Apple Festival.

@govpritzker.illinois.gov 37 and Kedzie, East Garfield, Illinois. This is assault.

"One doesn't ask of one who suffers: what is your country and what is your religion? One merely says, you suffer, this is enough for me, you belong to me and I shall help you." -Louis Pasteur 'Servant of Humanity' Erected by the people of Chicago, 1928

US Patent No. 12426648, issued today for an outdoor garment.

Utility patent drawing without context:

Border Patrol currently doing another expensive sightseeing tour over Wrigley Field and the Chicago lakefront.

not true. they literally wrote a song about it.

Luggage with cupholders. Patented this week. US 12419396

A homebuilt printing press for publishing after the rapture without drawing the attention of the Antichrist. Patent Application Publication US 2012/0279405

A hinge that turns a pair of leaf rakes into giant tongs. US Patent 12317779

Doubly proud to have finished my fastest 5k of the decade while being soundly defeated by my own daughter.

"I don’t have any cars, so I got rid of all my cars. I’m more into art nowadays." - Lewis Hamilton metro.co.uk/2025/09/20/l...

My sister was driving around Hermosa and she says normally packed parking lots are empty, businesses empty. Our Latine immigrant community is being driven away from the public eye due to fear.

I mistype the word "embodiment" at least a couple of times a day. The typing pattern is LRLRLRRLRL but each hand starts doing its own thing halfway through.

Simulate alternate history sporting events. US Patent 12415130 (issued yesterday)

Protect your home from wildfires with a turret-mounted laser weapon that shoots embers out of the sky. US Patent 12415107 (patented today)

New, w/ @mulchy.bsky.social & @djbyrnes1.bsky.social: ICE shot & killed an immigrant in the Chicago suburbs yesterday. Then they immediately gave a misleading account of events. Chicago erupted in chaos and a father who lived here for decades is dead. This is what really happened:

Microwave the brains of the herd members until they stop struggling against their fate. US Patent 12161125

A system that watches chickens to see which ones are likely to hook up. US 12408632 (patented today)

"a psychotropic dream that had the goal neither of a victory nor of a policy at stake, but, rather, the sacrificial, excessive deployment of a power already filming itself as it unfolded" -Baudrillard on "Apocalypse Now", before mocking the "ridiculous hat of the light cavalry"

Also spotted this morning over Chicago (but could not confirm until just now): a Homeland Security Black Hawk (86-24548), apparently in Customs and Border Protection livery, deployed yesterday to DuPage Airport.

Spotted in Chicago today: sailing, fishing, bouncy house, volleyball tournament in a golf course, girls pee-wee football, and a guy with Flock of Seagulls hair talking to a seagull.

Today at Graceland Cemetery, I stopped by the grave of Illinois Governor John Peter Altgeld, whose words are relevant today.

The whole "having principles" thing is such a hindrance to grifting. I recall a conversation I had with a neighbor years ago who was working as a patent lawyer (defending against trolls) who told me he was tempted to switch sides because it's such easy money to be a troll...

PSA: Public records should be public. You should not have to prove your identity to view patent file wrappers or to access the pretty color design patents.

Made a Sazerac with Malört instead of absinthe (both are wormwood) and it's great!

Armed Police: apparently irrelevant to security, okay to unionize. Patent Examiners: front line national security, unions abolished.

🔭🧪🎢⚛️ #EduSky A plane refraction #sundial, a rare kind of sundials. A 5cm thick plexiglas (acrylic glass) block, a small washer on top of it. The washer's shadow tells solar time on the drawing at the bottom. Thread 1/🧵