Eagerly awaiting the episode of Air Crash Investigation where they reveal that the plane was “just being a silly sausage”

I’m on that migraine prodrome brain, just looked for the word “diplomatic” but ended up telling my colleagues that the email I wrote was “very ambassadorial”

Me, addressing the class on the first day of human piloting school: OKAY BOYS, the first thing you gotta know about operating your human vehicle is to keep the knees LOCKED and HYPEREXTENDED at ALL TIMES

A story in three parts

I’m bad at remembering to post now, but let me tell you that Alice came into heat and a bad time was had by all

Why do they call it a mommy makeover and not

Squiggle is the toughest, cutest, wiggliest mofo around - if you have any money to spare, please toss some her way?

Why are the American president's claims about autism the first item on British news bulletins? He's not our president, the advice doesn't apply here and he's not presented any evidence to support his assertions. So why spread these claims? What make this the biggest story in the UK?

What if the rapture actually happened ages ago but almost nobody qualified & that’s why there are unsolved missing persons cases

The duality of cat motherhood

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

In today’s heartening news my right-wing boomer dad and I had a conversation about current events where we were in full & vociferous agreement, so there is hope for the offline population

Good that the Guardian is calling Kirk “far right” and showings its readers his views - not “common sense”, not “conservative”, but far right conspiracy. www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...

idk man if I had just lost my kid to a school shooting and the news cycle was dominated by people loudly mourning the loss of a guy whose life’s work was radicalizing people, largely children, into thinking that’s a cool and normal thing to do while contributing nothing else, I’d probably go insane

He joked multiple times about Paul Pelosi getting smashed in the skull with a hammer.

This should go without saying, but Trump is not opposed to political violence. He’s opposed to violence against his political allies. He is either silent about, or approving of, violence against his political enemies.

this is going to be useful as a reference point for when you're dealing with people who just don't understand, won't believe, or also lionize the sort of person being posthumously lauded right now

Today’s weaning attempt: smeared a little bit of wet food on her paw so she’d have to lick it off. She’s now walking around squeaking furiously about her suddenly delicious foot

She is absolutely refusing to wean, and when I dare to dab a bit of formula on her chin to lick off she gives me this look:

I work near a garden centre, and when I see people leave carrying their new purchases I like to think they’re taking their plants out for a walk

Pressure ulcers are just your bones trying to escape your body

Today’s topic: Lakes: can we trust them

Absolute benny hill hours in here

The girlies are on one this morning and have fully trashed my room

I loved Long Story Short but also their writing team have quite clearly been stealing from me & my special brain

The boss and the nepo hire

I have an allotment. I love my allotment. If I had to live off it I’d be dead by now

One of my beliefs is that every school should have a working farm attached so kids can learn that farming sucks and is really hard

MAMA NO YOU’RE EMBARRASSING ME

I fostered Squiglet for a few days until she could reach Moggy Manor, and she is the cutest wobbliest most precious little bean to ever exist

GUESS WHAT I’M FOSTERING AGAIN

My tiny idiot daughter hunts and attempts to eat a butterfly

Imagine being a regular ol’ shark and seeing a hammerhead for the first time

I saw an infographic a couple years ago about how to remove source identifiers from links and why it's important, but I can't find it again and too many people I know are sending me links with them so here's an infographic straight from the oven

Do we have any compelling proof that harpy eagles are not just short wealthy furries playing a dastardly little trick on everyone

I have a phobia of bees and if my phone rang and the screen said “Bees” I think I might die.

I have recently come into an allotment and let me tell you: it is deeply silly

There are a lot of kinda mid children out there.

The jellyfish was robbed

People are always being described as having “two beautiful children” or “three beautiful children” but they never say how many ugly children they have

i hate stevia so much it tastes like a lemon menstruating

I keep thinking up great punchlines but can’t make a setup to match them. So far: * the repercussion section * vice cubes * a leperchaun

Jólakötturinn, the giant cat who eats people, is problematic

DID YOU KNOW Shark scales are analogous to teeth, not skin Each denticle has a root, enamel, dentine, and pulp

Friends fear she’s visiting Iceland again

this’s why i have no chill with hp fans or ppl who bang on about how she just has opinions. jk rowling is a legitimate evil in the world. it’s not hyperbole.

Max has had issues with weight loss recently - he dropped from 5kg to 4.6, which is a lot when you are a small cat! Anyway, he’s now on a mono-protein diet and BEHOLD HIS ENCHONKENING

Anatomy of online laugh transcription: “Haha” - normal, respectable, nothing to write home about “Hoho” - speaks of a certain Victorian jollity, or perhaps an owl. Delightful! “Hehe” - this person is a despicable pervert