Ten days to go. I didn't choose the @booklife.bsky.social, the book life chose me. (This tag worked better on Twitter) To read this review and others, pre-order an ebook and learn how you can get the print book Oct 21, visit www.adambertocci.com/whiterats

Do you think when Pokémon got big Neil Diamond was hoping Weird Al would spoof "Soolaimon" to tackle it, or do you think that's not the sort of thing he thinks about

Eleven days to go. That's good, I'm running out of stock photos of women in mysterious silhouettes. To read this review (and many more), pre-order an ebook, and learn how you can get a print book starting October 21, just visit: www.adambertocci.com/whiterats

Getting vintage Cake vibes off this. (The band, not 'vintage cake' in the sense of that Seinfeld episode)

A few weeks ago I mused that Ladies Mary and Edith from "Downton Abbey" could conceivably have lived long enough to see the original "Star Wars". Not sure why they *would*, maybe they went with a grandson or something

YOU: Help, help! My house is on fire! ME, A WISE PUNDIT: Actually, house fires are down significantly. It's more likely that you're just in a media environment disincentivized to give you the right information YOU: It's spreading to my room! ME: It's an issue of framing, really

Twelve days to go. Time to repost stuff you've already read—er, I mean, cleverly repurpose existing content resources for impactful brand synergy. Jokes aside: as we whip through pull quotes of the great reviews thus far, there was never a chance I wouldn't start with this one.

PERSONAL FINANCE TIP: For retirement, save 10-15% of your income. Also 10-15% of _my_ income, so I can mooch off you

My upcoming novel "The Sorcery of White Rats" has 691 em dashes, not counting the back matter. No AI used. All human-made. No machine could ever overuse em dashes as much as I do.

PERSONAL FINANCE TIP: Cancel any subscriptions you're paying for that you don't use. Not only will it save you money, but in a few months you'll get to read a free article whining about how Millennials aren't subscribing to enough things

Two weeks to go. I'll be hyping this thing pretty heavily across these two weeks… but rest assured, it lives up to whatever hype I deliver. I've measured very carefully. Happy spooky season to one and all. www.adambertocci.com/whiterats

I wonder if the toilet paper industry ever looks back nostalgically on the big rush in 2020, or if, in the end, it was hard on them too

People keep endlessly falling for this idea that if they can just finally prove once and for all that Trump is a bad person, his voters will turn their back on him and it'll all be over. It's not even remotely close to reality and should have been clear as day the second he got elected back in 2016.

I've spent way too much time talking to MAGA people and something I consistently note is that they tend to bucket politics into two categories 'policy' and 'noise'. Policy is whether their politicians are doing what they want, and noise is anything else. The latter gets ignored.

Who is this novel for, anyway?

Yesssss! My fellow Millennials, it's finally our time to shine! Time to go out and get that entry-level job now

*extremely showgirl voice* my life

Also, the audience always had at least one reliable laugh

MODERATOR: And what would you do about rising health care costs if elected President GEN Z CANDIDATE: *stares*

I'm probably in the top 100% of smart people

Keeping the Boomers in power another generation by convincing Gen Z that getting elected is cringe

What stage of capitalism is this? I hope it's a really cool one

My novel comes out this month. I would apologize in advance for how bad my posts are going to become, but, let's face it, it's Bluesky, what else are you going to read, eight thousand replies of people not understanding a joke

6:12 PM on September 30th and I haven't seen a single "Wake Me Up When September Ends" mildly funny meme post. Open the schools

Three weeks to go. I know I love to sell the "end of the world, fire, brimstone, OMG" angle with this book. And the heady themes of religion, magic, art. It's good hype. But it's really just about this. Best friends, talking. Feeling. Being. But also the end of the world OMG

oh fuck i just remembered how scary the names are gonna get on here pretty soon. i mean i'm brave so it won't scare me and i'm not scared now. i'm worried about you guys. i won't always be here to protect you

Following the Tilly Norwood situation intensely as the guy who liked "S1m0ne"

*extremely Henry King voice* my chief defect

Telling ChatGPT that if it works really hard on my homework it can grow up to be anything it wants to someday

[at my second rodeo] listen up you ignorant sack of shit

One of the biggest breaths of fresh air I've read in years, for two reasons: (1) I absolutely agree that Dems/lefties can get negatively polarized into defending drains on resources, which just pushes concerned citizens right (2) I've literally never heard a socialist talk this way in my life

"Raw, disturbing, and haunting." A fair take on something outside my usual schtick. (Actually the first piece of short fiction I ever put out, which in hindsight makes no sense. I suppose I figured, if I'm trying a diff medium, might as well do other new things in it, test multiple fences at once)

Trifecta! Yet somehow I've seen one of these films 0 times, one once, and one not since childhood. Framed #1293 🎥 🟩 ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ Framed - One Frame Challenge #296 🎥 🟩 ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ Framed - Title Shot Challenge #112 🎥 🟩 ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ ⬛ framed.wtf

I think rules should be followed at all times. Of course, I'm flexible on that

I bit my dentist today. Wasn't even getting a checkup at the time, I just saw him at the supermarket

Put me down for having fun but not enjoying. I think I have one of those artistic temperaments that in _some_ manifests as depression but for me is just sort of a low-grade pessimism and susceptibility to annoyance. Life's pretty great, but unfortunately it's also incredibly cringe.

Four weeks to go. I guess I gotta start plugging this thing more aggressively than one of these images once a week, huh. But this is all right for now, I like this one. If you like it too you might like the book.

GLORIA GAYNOR: Thanks for coming on such short notice to change this stupid lock LOCKSMITH: You're welcome, Ms. Gaynor GG: I wonder if there's a catchy song to be made of this situation LS: Eh. I don't know. Pretty typical lock-changing job, really GG: You're probably right

(for this post on bluesky dot app I've just learned it would take time, money or effort to light a candle) Fuck you, darkness. You suck, and are bad

Determining whether something's above my pay grade? Yeah, that's above my pay grade. Or possibly below

It's nice of the company to do this but I still have concerns

Where computer belong bsky.app/profile/litt...

Things were better when computer was in room. Now everywhere is computer. This is bad. Computer should never have escaped room.

We don't need to raise the retirement age to save Social Security. Look to history. COVID killed enough folks to save SSA significant costs. We simply need to get more people to die. I suggest a low-cost public service announcement campaign that makes drowning seem cool

The people of this city are sick of senseless crime. When I am elected, we will only have sensible crime.

REPUBLICANS WHEN SOMETHING THEY DON'T CARE FOR HAPPENS: What can we do about this DEMOCRATS WHEN SOMETHING THEY DON'T CARE FOR HAPPENS: Boy, can't wait to see what comedians do with this

Just realized "Only a master of evil, Darth" might be a jab at him never getting the rank from the Jedi. Still not the greatest line tbh but leave Obi-Wan be, he only had literally years all by himself to concoct the perfect own

A producer told me once she has to warn young crewmembers to avoid being alone with Aykroyd. "Not because he's a creep, he's a gentleman. But if you let him strike up a conversation the next thing we know all the PAs will be huddled in his dressing room learning how humans evolved from dolphins."

(to the tune of the "Downton Abbey" theme) I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay I sleep all night and work all day

Five weeks to go. I screwed up a lot in my twenties. Arguably, one such mistake was beginning a novel to encompass all the great themes that were important to me about God, art and the universe, when I'd barely written *any* prose before. But, like my twenties, it worked out…