And I was just standing in the nosebleeds watching it all unfold like Regina George with an “I told you so” shit eating grin on my face

I had a dream last night that Manny Machado was up in the ninth inning with the bases loaded, down a run against the dodgers. He babe ruth pointed and then struck out. Padres fans then stormed the field, rioted and destroyed Petco Park.

if you watched this you’re a total fucking loser! sorry!

like imagine hating me and I’m just sitting here watching my Ariana Grande concert videos.

I’m not surprised but it’s very annoying to see cool pro queer content in sports only immediately to notice the content section is full of ugly mouth breathing bigoted fat fucks screaming about how people like me are disgusting.

the sooner yall realize this team ain’t shit, the easier it’ll be! I’m at peace and I hope the same for the rest of you.

Comparing religion with Pride is a smooth brain take

Brussels sprouts. Put whatever balsamic and bacon you want on it, it will always taste like farts

Zohran Mamdani, famously known as Mayor of Uganda

Every year it’s the same damn thing with MLB and Pride Month. There’s always controversy because for some reason people think they’re entitled to an opinion about who gets to love who. Most ballplayers are Neanderthals. I look forward to their evolution but we’re a long way from that.

best. night. of. my. life. not even close. what a privilege to witness her artistry

The effects of “x” on Americans will be studied for generations. I’ve never claimed to be the smartest in the room, but holy shit the fact that most Americans are susceptible to false information is really hard to wrap my head around.

When did Walker Buehler become our best pitcher?

Considering how badly they botched Jake’s pitch to the head, I wouldn’t trust their assessment here.

THIS offense scores four runs and Randy does his 2024-esque two out nobody on meltdown. Classic!

when a generic white lady releases music

"We have a term for enterprises that look successful because they keep drawing in new investors and keep drawing in new investors because they look successful. They’re called Ponzi schemes." paulkrugman.substack.com/p/elon-musk-...

I forgot about the game but um ya good for Nando

Padres Twitter stuff is for smooth brains

I think I’m kinda over being mad about the padres and just moved on to a little grief. It’s genuinely sad. Like when manny struck in the ninth, I expected it but I just felt pity. Feels like punching Helen Keller at this point.

because he’s no bitch ass Padre hitter

Alright well that was a cute two innings I watched. That’s enough!

SO MUCH FOR POSITIVITY

I can’t stand Manny Machado but I’m rooting for him to walk it off!!!

People: “What do you mean you haven’t watched a Padres game on TV in two weeks?” Me:

pet projects = collecting the heads and penises of your deceased pets, to, um, Make America Healthy Again

🗣️🗣️🗣️

Can’t wait to vote for Xavier Becerra in November

I’m on the trolley doing something else and the padres fans still making their way to the stadium amuses me. Like girl I know it’s not worth the watch but you paid for it you’re gonna get there in the 5th inning

really is crazy how you can be a total loser and get rewarded for it

Padres win

That explains the 1.7 ERA and 4.6 FIP. Quick, someone explain that to the smooth brained third baseman

Fuck Jason Adam forever and ever and ever and ever

Time for Mr. Westboro Baptist Church to blow it!

what have I witnessed???

I’ll never really understand Juan Soto hate.

“why would you have that stat (FIP)?” “it shows how good a pitcher would be removing the defense—-“ “but it takes a whole team to win a game?” he’s so fucking stupid but it’s so funny

I’m gonna be so amped when manny doesn’t get into the hall

yeah xWOBA is why you’re hitting .175 you complete fucking loser.

Eric Lauer would skull fuck this lineup

so much for my theory xander bogaerts was gay

Good to let underperforming but clutch Castellanos go when Laureano is out for the year.

I just realized I haven’t watched a pitch of Padres baseball since I went to the game on May 27th. I’ve only kept up from this app lmao. I plan to keep up that streak.

And somehow went 6-0 against the Padres

I’m just glad I don’t have to vote in Maine

God he’s so hot. I will refrain from saying what he could do with his thighs since this is a family app

this would be my World Series

HOW DO WE STILL NOT KNOW WHY MIKE DEE WAS FIRED?

Should’ve been fired after 2023. Hopefully new ownership won’t put up with the bullshit, but I’m worried that they think he’s the one who can drive attendance.