Incredible

One time, Fernando

The one thing about season tickets being sold out is that when the park is 80% dogers fans we know who’s to blame

Mark Grant has more MLB hits than Cody Decker

Your move, Titty Terrace

🎵Smashing through the hot dogs Lunacy has found me Cannot stop the battery🎵

Ginger beard

Of course you challenge, that don’t mean shit

Straight gas, homie

Nick got that Petco’d look on his face

You’d think a vet like Freddie Freeman wouldn’t have to ask the home plate umpire for directions back to the dugout

Donkey

Buckle up, Meat

I do like the dichotomy of the mayor speaking on the SDPD response to the shooting “This is what we train for!” Meanwhile SDPD stopped absolutely nothing from happening. They saved no lives, captured no criminals.

Hell yeah

King shit

King just carved up Muncy holy shit

Like Xmas in July it’s the bottom of the order at the top

Pretty good

When was the last time Don Orsillo ate Jack in the box? I want to see him crush two tacos on air to prove he’s not an undercover cop

Legal weed, the pitch clock and ABS. Everything else in the world is a trash fire

There seems to be more empty seats than usual. Maybe it’s just early

Donovan Solano v2.0

I miss serial killers. We used to be a real country

Chicago Carly Simon Michael McDonald Kenny Rogers I feel like this is a generational thing. If your parents are in their 50s this is a completely different question

I really do not like watching Yuki Matsui pitch

Woo. I’m having fun

White lighting

I know absolutely nothing about Lucas Giolito

This Vedder Cup business is intense

Michael King and Randy Vasquez have turned out to be pretty good returns for Juan Soto. Are they the best return the Padres have ever got in trade for an established star player outside of Trevor Hoffman? I think maybe

That would’ve been a real shitty game to go to if you’re a Mariners fan

That last slider was gross

Laureano has completely disappeared. I forget he’s on the team sometimes

Bill Miller took his mask off and his face looks like he’s in the midst of dying from steak poisoning

Connor Joe finally does something clutch for the Padres

Holy shit I thought he had that

Goddamnit

Don’t worry dude he’s not going to hurt you

Motherfuckin leadoff walks, dude

Was that the most wrong a catcher has been on an ABS challenge?

Padres showing out the D

Hancock

What’s up with the sound for this game? The ball off the bat sounds really flat

Fans in Seattle react to long fly balls the same way Petco Park does.

On field communication issues are a reflection of poor management

Tatis sees and misses a lot of strikes. Pitchers are throwing in the zone to him with impunity

I have really hard time not referring to Gavin Sheets as Ben Sheets. I have to correct myself every time

Brewers should’ve put in an opener for two innings and let Mis finish the game. He’s basically seven innings of Mason Miller

Sheets just neutralized seven innings of 103