There are a whole ton of people who never encountered drive-thru bank tellers with pneumatic tubes, and I feel so sorry for them.

“You sure about this, Dad?” “Both Yelp reviews were fantastic.” “I know, but-“ “Hop out, kid.”

I know I'm dating myself here, but I swear, I can hear Gilda Radner's Emily Litella character in my head: "What's all this fuss I'm hearing about Tylenol making you artistic? What's wrong with being artistic! The world needs art! Did Beethoven take Tylenol? Did Van Gogh? They must have!"

The Big Bad Wolf, he learned the rule: You gotta get real hot to play real cool.

Still don't understand why someone thought they could put a date on the rapture. September 23rd according to what? GMT? That's 4 hrs ahead of EDT, and 7 hrs ahead of PDT. Think God gives a fuck about time zones?

[first day of work] me: so, when do i get to kick one? boss: we don't actually- me: how about that one? that one looks like kind of an asshole

Kash Patel looks like a guy who went through a session in the chair from "A Clockwork Orange", and they just stuck that way.

Every reporter with a chance to ask Trump a question needs to say this: "Mr Trump, what makes you think you know more about autism than trained scientists and researchers who have studied it? Also, why haven't you released the Epstein files?"

Gonna tell my kids Napster was a service where you'd pay people to take naps with you. Like Uber Eats or Door Dash but for naps.

@myrafayeturner.bsky.social How's this sound, Myra? Cooked chorizo (can't find Andouille), then cooked chicken in the sausage grease. Sautéed peppers, onions and celery in Cajun spices, then a can of diced tomatoes, Red Hot, Worcestershire, and a cup of rice. Added the meat and let the rice cook.

Farm Aid is today. Almost 78% of farmers voted for Trump. I'm not saying don't donate, as farms are essential. But I have to wonder if they see the correlation between electing Trump, and some farms having to let crops just rot, other farms going bankrupt, and their bailouts getting smaller.

I accept your challenge.

Watching the "A-Team" as an adult makes me realize that this show that I absolutely loved as a kid, was really, really horrible. People firing guns at each other constantly, and no one, not even a nameless minion of the weekly villain, gets shot. Car flips over 15 times, and the driver crawls out.

"Don't call me a racist but I'm going to make not just one, but two statements that imply someone's ethnicity had a bearing on horrible things they did." You're a racist.

I dreamt I met Giancarlo Esposito at a party. I asked him, "How in the world do you find the time to appear on pretty much every tv show that's on now?" He laughed, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me And then I woke up. I wish I knew what the secret was.

This is America

Started Tears of the Kingdom for the first time. Just got to the part where Link goes back down to the ground.

I find it more than a bit strange that just 2 days after her husband's murder, Erika Kirk is livestreaming a speech on YT saying "the cries of this widow will echo around the world like a battle cry.” and "You have no idea what you have unleashed across this country and this world.”

Joke only Canadians will appreciate: kd Lang is short for kraft dinner Lang.

TrewResistance

So, just thinking about this. And I don't mean this with any judgement about anything anyone's said. Seen a lot of people saying there's never a need or time for political violence, and differences should be settled with debate, not weapons. I can get behind that. But then the thought occurs

Here are some things that Charlie Kirk said in his life. The man is dead, and so it only seems fair to share his legacy by cataloguing the values he spread while alive.

Here’s the thing. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I lower my American flag for someone who sent bus loads of insurrectionists to the Capitol.

Still little to no coverage of the 3 kids shot in a school in Colorado.

Tru.p is trying to order all American flags flown at half mast for 5 days. FIVE days. For what?? He didn't do anything besides support Trump. How many days did Trump order flags to be flown at half mast for the Minnesota lawmakers gunned down in their homes? Or any child killed in school? Or ever?

Max Rose, a former Dem NY congressman just said on CNN: "He had extraordinary political skill and an extraordinary ability to build a movement and build political power. And that is something he should forever be admired for." What the fuck?

CNN: 59 minutes, 45 seconds about Charlie Kirk. 15 seconds about a school shooting where 2 kids were shot in Colorado.

We have a bit of a natural experiment here. Compare the tone, quantity and duration of Charlie Kirk coverage with that of the two Dem lawmakers gunned down in their homes in Minnesota 6 months ago. May be revealing.

Charlie Kirk was at a "Prove Me Wrong" booth when he was shot. I hope the sign in front said, "Gun deaths are worth it to keep the 2nd Amendment. Prove me wrong"

Feel-good movie of the year!

me: you go first dolphin: oh man you are so fucked

Slightly diminish a book: The Lean

Dirty up a song: Uptown Fuck

To make someone happy: It would be much better if, when waiting for an elevator, you didn't immediately try to get on it when the doors open. Take a step back, there may be people trying to leave. Discuss.

Can't wait for the Republican spin that Trump didn't personally write that card, read it, or pay attention to where he was signing. He was busy signing all the important deals he makes, and someone (who he mysteriously can't recall) just put it in front of him, he signed it, and handed it back.

Raymond Chandler implies the existence of Raymond Ross and Raymond Joey.

*Beware* the Ides of March? Bitch, I'm fucking PRAYING for them!

I'm hoping for something good to happen on March 15th.

They're trying to say Trump was an FBI informant? That's their narrative? Jesus fucking Christ. Does this mean that instead of "YMCA" playing at his rallies, it'll be "Secret Agent Man"?

I want to lay this out so people can understand the trickle down (beyond the obvious eugenics) of assigning cause to autism, especially to something the mother did or did not do, and how it is harmful to their autistic children. This is a thread 1/x

I want RFK Jr to have to explain exactly why he wants to eradicate autistic people from being born. He needs to say it loudly and publicly, every single time. Because too many people, even if they don't believe the Tylenol thing, think "finding a cause" is useful It's eugenics.

There's something really satisfying about growing your own weed, having it be really potent, then making your own cannabis oil out of the weed *you* grew, then making your own bomb-ass gummies. Ok, ok, I used store-bought gummy bears, but, *I'm* the one who turned them into the fun stuff.

Word on the street is that you would like to save democracy.

Slept in a They Might Be Giants shirt and woke up in Istanbul(not Constantinople).

They're being verrrry careful not to implicate or talk about Trump knowing he can quash this bill with one TS post (which he'll do anyway)

Maybe I've watched too much TV and movies, but I can foresee the US devolving into some dystopian battleground. People may want to start learning about guerilla warfare.

They locked ICE in their own facility in LA!! I LOVE THIS!!!!

The Trivago guy and his huge capped teeth annoy the fuck out of me.

Overhead Smashmouth