Every time Harrison Butker misses a field goal a woman gets a college degree

This you? @yankees.com

"fuck you, cancer, but we'll let this one slide"

If it turns out to be cancer will we still be able to say "fuck cancer"?

Men always complain that they don't know what women want, but have you tried just listening?

It's Friday night so me and the boys are dosing the municipal water supply with an empathy potion.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are practicing Excel.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are looking for loopholes in the hierarchy of needs.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are trimming our hair and clipping our toenails to make boyfriend material.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are pretending it's 2014 and the future is boundless.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are picking out songs for a hanging out montage.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are renegotiating boundaries.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are starting Patriarchy 2 and anyone can join.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are writing thank-you notes to the goddess.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are doing a podcast offset thing where we just don't start podcasts.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are rewatching the tape from The Ring.

It's Friday night so me and the boys are looking for ways out other than through.

Happy birthday to this queen.

Anyone still using Twitter is complicit in this.

8 years ago tonight, the best piece of television aired.

Look at my grandparents, a huge unit of a rabbit at my sister's house, a cool weapon I got in Expedition 33, and another rabbit but at my house.

I've always wanted to go to Ireland and see the Uncanny Valley in person.

ANDOR micro-series set between S2 and RogueOne that’s just an afternoon of Krennic and Tarkin trying to subtweet each other via HoloNet

Hot honey is the new microplastics

Imagine having a belief system so bad that every cool person in all of pop culture thinks you suck. #HappyPride

Is it bad that we no longer learn how to get around because we rely on GPS? Shrug. Is it bad that we no longer learn math because we rely on calculators? We get by, but we make bad choices about money. Will it be bad when we stop altogether writing, thinking, and creating because we rely on AI?

The Rehearsal S3:

Eating the woke chicken because I said I would.

I will buy some of their terrible food tomorrow to recognize this.

Oh my god I forgot it was tonight.

Does anyone want to carpool to Final Reckoning later

My life is the sum of my choices.

wrote about that cute little Fiat 500 & the car chase in Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One www.hagerty.com/media/entert...

I think people are worrying too much about The Entity because as long as you follow password best practices you'll be safe.

Are you excited for Mission Impossible the Final Reckoning or super excited for it. I'm super excited,

I'm the most seated I've ever been.

Look who moved into my yard.

Only 301?

Same energy

Cassian runs into Saw Gerrera, who is inexplicably carrying 30 baguettes

The Mavs have turned into the Adelson family's worst investment since the Mitt Romney campaign.

every year on patriots' day we commemorate the “here comes the pizza” incident from 2007, in which don orsillo and the late great jerry remy grow increasingly deranged trying to understand the motives of the man who hurled a slice of pizza at a guy attempting to catch a foul ball #redsox 🍕 ⚾️

We live in a fractally stupid time.

*taps the sign*

Joking aside, is it great in principle that Bluesky is an echo chamber? Not really, no. But is it our fault that we don't like things that suck? Also no.

Today was probably Jared Carneson's worst Rex Manning day ever.