Funniest possible person to say nothing bad happened when he was a kid as a result of everyone having guns

Wish I NEWSOM way to get rid of this fucking ghoul

Not to be all “ummm, actually” but Hannibal Lecter is Lithuanian. And a convicted felon.

i only brush my teeth once a month so as not to dilute the power of my toothpaste

If unidentified masked men try to grab you or a loved one, maybe it’s time to consider the Frank Reynolds approach?

What I mean when I say I want masculinity without toxicity

thing is i like the Eucharist served with the sport peppers, but i always remove them off before taking communion

[defense wheels out a tv with their own ai of the victim] hey man, thanks for killing me

2 cat + 2 cow = 4 dog

half price on diesel

Diversity: come in a variety of colors Equity: cover both legs equally Inclusion: includes balls and butts

so they're mycoblogging

legit spent an evening doing long division with friends and had a fucking blast

Sorry can’t. I’m not sick but I’m not well.

Well, that’s a relief

Bells will ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling…

Phil Tippett’s The Lego Movie

New sex euphemism just dropped: “Shoving Pink”

Wow Dutch restaurants are so different than America

jay z does not "feel bad" about your girl problems. he's manipulating you

Kevin McCarthy last seen hanging paint cans on ropes from the bannisters of the Capitol Building and dropping a tarantula on Matt Gaetz’s face

Me, making friends in the Underdark:

After a day of scrolling Bluesky, it’s amazing how much it feels like going back in time 10 years to when the Hellsite was just Hell and not like an unspeakable eldritch dimension beyond space and time.