(Work-sorta) CW: What's that ringing sound? Me: A phone? CW: No, when you walk up. Me: Oh, that's a Daoist bell on my bag. It's supposed to help with enlightenment and repel evil. CW: Does it work? CW 2 walks up. "Hey, I had some questions..." I look at CW 2, and back to CW 1. Me: Apparently not.

I just got a pre-Black Friday sale email.... From the lab that does my blood work.

(Work) Ahhh, it's that time of the year. For the CISCO inventory to be done, and now I get to explain to a new person, "No, I have never been to that building, 2800 miles away. I don't know why that gear is in my name. It shouldn't be, and I'm not responisble for it."

If I had to see it, you had to see it.

Important note: While MTG does now have a vested congressional pension (5 years), she doesn't start getting the payout until she's 62. She can get a reduced pension at 57. So she's six years away from any part of the pension.

Can someone go do a wellness check on the Large Hadron Collider?

Multiple WH staffers are looking at the Mamdani / Trump presser and wondering how they got Trump's drug mix so badly wrong.

It's always great to go to bed on a bit of good news.

One of the most convenient system crashes in history. It also tells me that they're not following standards on data backup... www.404media.co/ice-says-cri...

Lindsey Halligan and Pam Bondi have lucked out!

Even former Trump lawyer (and sentient mustache limosine) Ty Cobb thinks this was a shitshow by Halligan/Bondi.

Judge: You're under orders not to tell ~me~? Lemons: Yes. Judge: Did you pack a toothbrush?

Hey, @gregdoucette.bsky.social. Cops are great. Rare (derogatory)/(complimentary) mix.

Based on the evidence presented so far, I can only conclude that the Allstate's ad agency hates them.

Based off the clips I've seen, if they feed the Nuzzi book to the various LLMs, they will all self-destruct.

Sprite "Winter Spiced Cranberry" does not taste of winter spices, nor does it taste of cranberry. It somehow manages to taste like of Sprite and LaCroix had a baby.

Wow. What if his vocal cords go first? Like, he can't talk at all.

Folks, I laughed.

I'd love to see Ted Cruz be the nominee as well. Because everyone hates Ted.

The Pope is from Chicago. The Bears are leading NFC North. It's dark, and I'm wearing sunglasses.

This is the best two post thread you will read today.

I mean, at least with the latest Epstein release, Trump probably won't pardon P. Diddy; he can't handle the extra heat right now.

(Work) Bosses: Network is down, everyone can work from home for the rest of the day. *everyone leaves* 10 minutes after everyone (but IT) leaves: *network comes back up* The one boss still in the building: Did you plan this? Me: Nope. Quiet now, though, isn't it?

Person 1: I don't see what the big deal about Trump being in a photo with Epstein is. Person 2: It was lots of photos, and visits. P1: But anybody could have a photo with Epstein. This guy could! *points at me* Me: Nah, I made sure the cameras in the cell block didn't catch me.

A Trump, what's a Trump? A Trump, why, didn't you know? It has tanned leather skin, and a massive libido, and bad 80's hair, and a grin like a paedo. h/t to @mrchrisaddison.bsky.social, Scenes We'd Like To See: Series 10, Episode 7 of Mock the Week.

It really says something about how bad the "Cutler Curse" was, that it takes direct action by the Pope to break it.

And if you put some gears on it.... It becomes Steampunk.

This happened to me once. The important difference is that I was 16 at the time. www.rawstory.com/trump-epstei...

Truth Social has an A.i. It was asked if Trump had stopped wars. It said no. It asked if Trump's tariffs were costing Americans money. It said yes. It was asked if he was responsible for Jan 6th. It said yes. It was asked if he lied about the elections being stolen. It said yes.

Lindsey Graham sounds panicked on the shows this morning.

Peak Southern California is waiting until the warmest day in a two week period to first use your wood fireplace.

For this to happen, it would to be funded. And all funding bills have to originate in the House. Which means the House would need to be in session. And a certain discharge position would finally have its last necessary signer.

I just got a flier in the mail urging me to both "vote early" and "vote against Prop 50". Oh, well done guys. You were really on the ball there.

(Work) *opens years old PST archive file to look for something* *sees that the Inbox says 3806 unread messages* *closes the PST quickly* To CW: Nope, can't seem to find that piece of info.

Starbucks selecting The Proclaimer's "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" as the song for their holiday cup commercials, right before a general strike... Well, it's a choice.

Does anyone want to hear the stories of the two worst cheaters I ever encountered in LARP? Two separate people, who didn't know each other (as far as I know), and they were worst in two different ways.

I don't expect that Subway will, but some DC sandwich shop should hire him to do a promo piece.

I've no idea why I thought of this song today. Not a single idea. www.youtube.com/watch?v=04F4...

The HIMS ad writes itself.

YT keeps showing me a clearly A.i. done commerical ~about~ an A.i. program to increase how much you get from an accident. How do I know it is A.i.? The spokesman is a talking monkey in a neckbrace.

If the Sandwich Guy is acquitted, is that the jury giving subtext?

Well, I've got a new favorite of these.

They had to put this up to remind Trump where he was.

Nice.

That Border Patrol agent is going to get out of court and discover he's the subject of a hundred different meme variations. Because someone else in his office will have been cataloging all of them.

Since he was a Dick, is his coffin technically a condom?

There are not facepalms big enough.

My name is Oxmandius, King of Kings. You haven't replied to my previous email, so this is a second notice. If I have to ask a third time, I will have to copy your supervisor.