Everton: Party Poopers

Fuck off

The thing I remember from the last time, and the lesson I'll bring if we become Champions in the next few minutes, is that you always assume another one will be along before too long. It never felt like it would take 22 years, and a few seasons ago it felt like it may never happen again. #Arsenal

Spursy

Holy fuck that didn't look like happening. Up the Arse!

Why, yes, I did just buy three tickets to the Champions League Final. Up the Arse!

In the ninth minute of six minutes, eh? Someone's getting a nice ref gig in Saudi.

Well, this is rather a fun match. Up the Toffees!

Keir Starmer's intention to restrict peaceful protest even further is punishment for crimes the great majority of protestors hate and reject. By suggesting that support for Palestinians is an attack on British Jews, he conflates British Jews with the state of Israel, which is wrong and dangerous.

This week’s column is about Arsenal, Atleti, situationism, The Sex Pistols, The Stone Roses and Atleti and Simeone setting a template for who and what I want Arsenal to be 👇🔴⚪️

BAFTA pulling a trailer for an autobiographical game about surviving sexual assault only hours before it was said to be a part of a showcase is an exceptionally bad look.

Either celebrate games as art, or drop the pretence. There’s not really a middle ground.

If you've been considering getting Super Nintendo as an ebook, it is currently available for an absurd 99p in an Amazon promotion. Apparently this is good for me, somehow, so go ahead and buy it I guess www.amazon.co.uk/Super-Ninten...

Spicy Mayo Lefty

Every candidate for Scottish Labour is running on an explicit platform of trans segregation, even the ones you like, do not vote for a single one of them

14 league games and 3 managers since Spurs have won in the Premier League

I didn't make it to Lisbon, but today was my third match in a row where Arsenal lost. I can't remember being at that run of matches in person, and I've been a season ticket holder for 19 years. It's really not a great start to the weekend.

They oversaw a very important social media influence operation for the Kremlin, got caught, fled. And now they're not just back, they're guests at Donald & Melania Trump's Easter Egg Roll at the White House.

In a blatant act of provocation yesterday, Sadiq Khan allowed Christians to perform the Passion of Jesus in Trafalgar Square - a disgraceful show of dominance by a religion from the middle east.

Kate Winslet accused me of treading on the train of her dress, but she'd actually caught it on a chair.

Use only one piece of art to convince folk to follow you.

Our public services aren’t for a secretive profit-hungry US tech firm. Sign the petition to tell the Government to scrap all contracts with secretive US tech firm Palantir. you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/st...

This news earlier really shocked us at home. We all really enjoyed his show. Man, I hope whatever he's done hasn't hurt anyone.

I think it's my turn next to be Tottenham manager.

This is something I've sent on to my kids, where I'm actually encouraging them to 'doom scroll'.

Brilliant

I love this. I'd better start planning my retirement.

Moldova's #Eurovision song is a bit of a banger: youtu.be/SViojHjNSzc?...

My watch is complaining that my stress level is high. You don't say. Max Dowman. What an incredible young man. 16 years old and now the youngest ever Premier League goalscorer. #Arsenal

MAX DOWMAN. 16 YEARS OLD. ETCH THAT INTO EMIRATES HISTORY, ARSENAL HISTORY, PREMIER LEAGUE HISTORY!

When did your obsession with hot, toxic women begin?

This is great news to wake up to! I was already going to a Doctor Who convention this weekend, but this is an excuse for an extra celebration. #DoctorWho

www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/... A really excellent short story on BBC Sounds.

My 11 year old daughter asked, "Who is Britney Spears?" and I instantly felt 100 years old.

They really are going to do it, aren't they? Spurs really are going to get themselves relegated. Amazing!

Dear Shabana, Let's clear some things up around migration and remember we're talking about people's lives.

Arsenal win unconvincingly. City drop points. Forest and West Ham gaining points to put Spurs in more trouble. A lovely night of Arse clenching football.

Let it be known that Sir Iwobi of Hale End sealed St. Totteringham's Day on the First of March, in the Year of Our Lord 2026, the earliest this blessed day has been celebrated in the Premier League, and the Greatness of Arsenal covers the land, even beyond North London, which remains Red.

It's happened again. It's happened again. Tottenham Hotspur, it's happened again. Happy St Totteringham's Day, one and all.

Nigel Farage’s history of spurious election fraud allegations. 2014: Farage claims voting fraud happening “on a third world scale”, no evidence found. 2015: South Thanet elections, Farage fraud allegations dismissed.

Well this took me far too long to actually make sense of the instructions, but once I did... [chef's kiss emoji]

If you ever like to enjoy an alcohol- free beer, Ramon from the Roman Brewery in Belgium is a very good example. #Cheers

A really beautiful draw. Famous last words and everything, but this really couldn't have gone any better for Arsenal. #ComingBackToHauntMe

Turns out bots can’t vote.

🤣 Has anyone checked on Alistair Heath? Did he survive it?

Matt Badloss?

It's a victory for truly progressive politics, and a victory for greyhound mums. I'm buzzing about it. How will Labour respond, because it's not covered itself in glory so far? And of course Farage, the pound shop Trump, has called it illegitimate. Whinging little shit.

Dirty Business - the sewage scandal docu-drama - on C4 is staggering TV. Not only the cold rage of it, and the depiction of banal corporate evil, but the production methods and performances. Poo Chernobyl.