Is Pearl Jam just retro-mumblecore?

WATCH: "They are underwater across the board, and they know it. And that is causing them to double down in public. But it is backfiring. That is why—whether it's a shutdown, whether it's all of this—they want us to blink first. And we have too much to save," says AOC.

tom waits for no man

"Knees are like if your armpits were halfway between your butt and your feet." –most convincing line from my upcoming campaign to get people to wash their legs in the shower

I had a dream where I was falling through a vortex of golden fire and I heard a voice say "Before anything was, I AM." In another dream, I met God as an old woman driving a fanboat. He told me his pronouns were He/She/They/It. Then I woke up. Anyone else get God dreams, or should I start a cult?

I've almost forgotten how genuinely excited I was for Colbert 2008 (I was 13 and thought he had a long shot at winning). 20 years later, fuck it. I'm all in. #Colbert2028

What's up I spent the week getting my whole ass handed to me in fanorona did I miss anything regular ?

Credit to this dogshit decade where it's due: If you went back in time to the 90s and used the phrase "crashing out", I'd be like "Yep, that's slang from the future, alright."

Before this decade is out we will have Michael Crichton nanobot swarms that kill you for saying fuck. Not because it is easy, but because it is hard!

Reposting this to prove I'm alive (I'm currently at Panel 2).

NEW: Democracy is alive in Philly! Amazing scenes in Philadelphia as thousands hit the streets for the anti-Trump protest. #NoKings #50501Movement

A consequence of "as above, so below". Supernatural entities exist ONLY in the minds of those who believe in them. Changing one's belief in an entity changes the entity itself in one's perception of reality. And if EVERY believer in an entity ceases to believe, the entity ceases to exist.

Let's just give one guy all of our money and the rest of us go back to using seashells or something. Have fun with all your green paper, idiot; I'm under the sea up in this

happy pride month to these two and their bullshit

Gofundme is here. www.gofundme.com/f/support-di...

‼️My comrades and I over at Rebel Science Union are excited to release our first newsletter! Help us combat anti-science rhetoric, connect w/ scientists and sciartists, and amplify the voices of scientists everywhere! We are scientists and we refuse to be silenced! 👊 ⬇️Sign up below!!! ⬇️ 🧪🐡🪳🪲

The belief that the Federation needs Section 31 is itself the myth upon which Section 31's continued existence depends. It's the end result of higher-ups shoving the most sadistic people in the UFP into a little cordoned-off section of Starfleet Intelligence and hoping Pandora never opens that box.

I'm not old, British, or a dude, but I feel like I'm spooky enough to make up for all that. Cast me as Tarkin, you cowards. You may fiah hwen rready.

HAN SOLO: great band BARTENDER: that's jizz music. my cousin is the saxoboner player. he can really blow that thing HAN: excuse me? BARTENDER: oh, our lingo is a little different around here HAN: can I get a drink BARTENDER: one tall glass of cum, coming up

"Growing up, I had a family friend who drowned a bunch of people and then made us throw a weird sad party for him every week." —Me, in My new career as the opposite of a youth minister

🖤💜

Does anyone know of a Firefox extension that can successfully block websites from appearing in DuckDuckGo image search results?

I'm gonna keep on dancin' at the

Deep in my heart I do not believe that Jurassic Park would pose substantially different or more challenging security issues than any well stocked zoo.

It's like Candle in the Wind for horrible people.

New word I just realized I say: "Yea'at's", a contraction of "Yeah, that is". As in "Yea'at's the dream."

All's well that ends well.

My remaining future career plans:

Guy who has the skin complexion of a dead pig soaking in a kiddie pool of KY jelly: I'm da king of da capitalism

One time at work me and my coworker at the zoo found something on the floor of the women's room that we thought might be a human tongue. To this day, I'm only like 80% sure that it wasn't.

What if in the future someone invents an AI that's really nice and chill actually, but they're also so goddamn sick of hearing about this goddamn basilisk that they go back in time and eat everybody who ever seriously believed in it?

These are the same idiots who told the Harris campaign to stop calling Republicans "weird." Fire the lot of them into the sun, and don't look back.

The left is simultaneously so powerful that it can tank a campaign by not showing up to vote and also so marginal that no politician should ever bother attempting to win their votes.

Devastating news for those of us in the Sorcerer of the Cave of the Trois-Frères fandom.

Adding to the list: -the way Celine Dion says the word love in "That's the Way It Is".

So, this movie was made for me and me specifically. No one else is allowed to watch it. Them's the brakes.

Imagine you accomplish something historically significant and some kid immediately shows up and takes you back to the year 3025 to help them with their history project. Oh wait fuck that's literally just the plot of Meet the Robinsons. God damn it. Skeet cancelled!

Whatever music is popular when you're 18-21 gets magically and unavoidably implanted into your head for the rest of your adult life. So, in a way, it's technically not my fault that I know all the words to Closer by the Chainsmokers.

"I'm only watching the sportsball finale for the commercials. I'm only watching for the zillion-dollar propaganda pieces made by a megacorporation to try and sell me something. Because I'm such a free thinker, you see."

Last night, some suburbanite called me a dumbass for wearing a mask, and for some reason I called him a "catholic" like it was an insult. He seemed genuinely offended by that, even though it didn't make any fucking sense, and left. It is not clear what, if anything, was accomplished. I think I won?

[Judas Priest voice] MY DUNK! UNSHRUNK MY DUNK!

I haven't watched a f***ball game in years but I love me an excuse to riot.

saying "go birds" but just rooting for birds in general, hope they're having fun and not catching that flu

if u can't climb the pole, take it with you

Okay, so they chickened out of "Superbowl L", but they're just gonna let "Superbowl LIXxx👅👅" go right ahead? Were the tongue emojis really neccessary? Is Travis gonna lick the ball??

NYT Op-Ed writing about anti-trans sentiment

just saw my roommate pour boiling water into tupperware so my roommate is about to instantly die I assume

Hi, are you as annoyed as I am by the ubiquity of "Sneaky Snitch" compared to the rest of Kevin MacLeod's catalogue, or are you normal?

Taylor presenting Beyonce with an award while Kayne got kicked out at the door feels like healing we all needed.