Pulp Fiction is written the same way that a smug child who just discovered racism would write a way too long Reddit post about how he was born in the wrong generation

so toxic they’re saying i’m transgieger. like the device that detects and measures radiation

my favorite time of year is when every fast food mascot’s mysterious irish relative shows up with a mint flavored offering for the masses

I think everyone should get one free surgery a year. doesn’t matter what it’s for you should just be able to chop something off or sew something on annually

did anyone else have their trans awakening while watching the fairly odd parents special where cosmo got pregnant

One of my lifelong dreams is to meet Abby Lee Miller and have her FaceTune the shit out of me in an Instagram post

queer nonprofit employee or nightlife performer which way Bushwick transsexual

a stat i always cite is the number of anti-trans articles in the press went from 60 in a year, to 7,500

being the only comedian at the open mic with my notebook covered in stickers is a hard burden to bear but someone’s got to do it

the duality of man (extremely organized folders in my computer/my extremely cluttered desk)

and yes my ass is still fat. hole pink too

www.justice.gov/epstein/file... holy shit

“2016 was the last time things felt good!” yeah I wonder why. This is a huge mystery to me and it has nothin to do with the president at all

‪based on the letter i got in the mail a few days ago and the news today ‬

cheers to another year of jerking off to weird porn and listening to french house music

the year is 2026. you live in New York City. your mayor is a young hot socialist. you’re gay and transgender. you have an amc a-list stubs subscription. you’re getting into hand stuff. your fridge is stocked with the Chik-fil-a nugget knock-offs from Costco. you’re me

sources are saying Eric adams has just been launched out of a big cannon gonzo style and sent to Turkey

fortnite outage so bad I’m using twitter for more than jerking off

approaching new levels of gay guy over here. had a dream that something awful happened and I said “they’re doing this to take away attention from Joni Mitchell” in my dream and woke up

thinking about the very drunk person who thought my drag name was “burp”

maybe i’m too woke but whenever the punchline of a joke is “men don’t have vaginas!” isn’t that funny to me. not in an offensive way, but more of a “that’s it?” way. like that’s the best punchline you could come up with? there are many other things men do not have, such as humor

dear comedians and drag artists remember to self medicate with caffeine and avoid lactose

when i say i’m bisexual i mean i love my wife, will unicorn for a couple, and i’m attracted to every man over 25

This sign raises more questions than it answers

absolutely genius marketing going on for Stranger Things at JFK. they need to give a raise to the guy who said “let’s put a giant 5 on every single baggage claim”

had a dream that i was a contestant on a new show called “naked and dating” with jeff probst as the host. i wore a moomoo for my reveal and i instantly hated being naked in front of so many people. they let me go into the gay guy section and i kept making horse jokes

i think 🌽 divas are majorly overlooked in terms of gay guy worship. there’s an abundance of mothers there but you’re not tapping in. there’s divas serving levels of camp you cannot fathom over on the hub

i think the lesson we should all be taking away from this is don’t fuck DL guys

in honor of kim davis i will be taking loads in the bubba gumps men’s bathroom in times square. God bless

had a beautiful weekend in the blue ridge mountains but could not stop imagining a dollar general sitting upon a poorly maintained parking lot full of pot holes instead of the trees and natural waterfalls. her yellow glow would look much better than the Ugly trees

the south has it down. a cigarette and some diet soda while burning some cardboard feels so good

lesbians hold the fabric of reality together whether you are enlightened enough to see it or not

obsessed with him

no more boyfriends in scary masks i want that man bent over and covered in fake blood with just a jock on. stop being greedy and covering them up in those spirit Halloween costumes. late stage capitalism is ruining you

the amount of harmonica being played in the laundromat is astounding

did you know? Elvis’s soul got eternally trapped within a pair of socks like a horcrux. that is why he is known as the king of sock

i have got to stop telling everyone i meet that i need danny mcbride in ways that if i uttered them aloud god would strike me down with a sawed-off shotgun immediately

Tim and Eric fujo hour great job awesome show

7 years into forever and wouldn't change a thing 💖 @dannyis.online

do you go to parades? Will you go to parades? when will you go to parades?

would not mind blatant ftm chasers at all if it they had any sex appeal 💔 why are you asking me to come cuddle and play with your pupper. why are you calling yourself a daddy dom at 28. why do you own 10+ graphic tees

getting there….

love a diva that looks like they do not play about drinking around the world at epcot

sex worker oomfs: if u need an assistant, hmu 🥸

if this is real we will have our first crossie president who is into MTG

if it actually happened, someone’s going to release $OBITcoin i’m calling it now

catching strays at the testing clinic rn. old lady telling people she can never tell if someone’s a he a she or a they and there’s too many trans people around these days like

CW: pre transition photos 2019 vs 2021 vs 2023 vs 2025 Love my husband @dannyis.online and love myself 2021 pic is still on our fridge and one of our favs GDHAGAJABA