I look frigging terrible. This is what I actually look like.

My popularity knows no bounds. I got one card for my birthday from my wife.

Starker is such a shithouse.

Wine…..friend……homosex.

Plastic Finger

Well Kevin The Carrot can fuck off.

I’m having croquet potatoes with chicken for tea. That’s the post.

ITV News kowtowing to Trump and calling the Department of Defence the Department of War.

Right…..that BFG can’t go for Christmas dinner. It’s a stupid concept. One massive turkey would be like a tiny bite for him…..Advertisers, do better.

Heinz Jalfreizi Beanz…….bloody hell.

Sweet and Sour Chicken and fried rice. Shocked and awed the bog and now I’m downing Imodium like my life depends on it……which it may.

Palestinian prisoners and Israeli hostages………again. ITV News.

Rising Damp is ridiculously funny.

Cunts……..

1. Not being dead. 2. First coffee of a morning. 3. Not being dead. 4. Chicken kebabs. 5. Not being dead yet.

Stop giving Reform / Farage breath on this app. Let the cunt shout into the abyss.

Calm down James Blunt.

Heatings on………don’t care.

I saw the Cardiologist today. They have a two stage plan. Electric cardioversion where they stop my heart and then restart it with a defibrillator…….they are literally going to kill me on purpose. Then I’m getting a stent.

That Google Pixel 10 advert has an address inputted that is only 2 doors away from where my Nan and Grandad lived in Old Swan……interesting eh?

@stixx1979.bsky.social is being loud in The Boot.

China are boss at military parades……..I bet Donny is fuming.

Bloody hell Ren.

Except that one.

Every pen is going in the same place.

Why are we getting buzzed by an RAF Airbus……makes a fake landing at Speke, climbs, then comes around again?

Fuck Off……..even Chanel 4 now giving air time to Reform over much larger parties. Reform has 5 seedy twats in parliament the gobshites.

Plus, none of the people caught are actually on the motorway.

Motorway Cops……caught someone driving on cloned plates, no insurance, no license. Disqualified from driving for a year. HE DOESN’T HAVE A LICENSE.

@nicperrins.bsky.social For the love of God somebody stop me.

Made it to The Pilot Boat.

So stomping round the house loudly muttering “so that’s me not going for a pint then” is clearly having little effect.

How am I supposed to get to the pub in this?

Oh my giddy Aunt.

Imagine going round smacking people in the face whilst yelling “We need to de-escalate”.

@nicperrins.bsky.social Thoughts on The Salt Path controversy.

Americans do like a flak jacket don’t they……no matter the job?

Glastonbury is not the story. The Genocide is. 🎤 - With Andrew Marr.

I’ve definitely gone mad. Back to back features on ITV News. Condemnation of musicians calling out a genocidal military followed by an uncondemned report of said military killing civilians.

Happy birthday Col……

Just spilt mayonnaise down my t shirt………that’s the post.

It’s safe to say that any decision made by the US will not be: A. In the interests of the Middle East. B. In the interests of the USA. But will be….. C: In the interest of Donald Oranjeboom Trump.

Please, please, please have him wear a uniform with gazillions of medals so we can just die laughing now.

Is it worth getting a chippy or will the bombs drop soon……I don’t want to be sitting on the bog when it all kicks off.

Pumped up the tyres on the mobility scooter and am now incapable of movement……..fuck you stupid Covid.

What an over.