Today’s mood 🤣 #ImACeleb #Emmerdale

Estate agents that don't do weekend viewings? Just goes to show how much they give a toss about actually working to sell your property for you. #RipOffBritain

"The Festive Book Swap" Fifteen quid. You'll get: A book picked especially for you. Choc picked especially for you. Tea. Yeah, tea. Fifteen quid! I can even match you up with a new book buddy too, if you like. Ho Ho Ho, etc. More info here. www.biggreenbookshop.com/index.php

Please can I have Tom Read Wilson for Christmas? I just want him to talk to me until the end of time ❤️ #ImACeleb

Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you’ve been to: David Bowie George Harrison Paul McCartney Stevie Winwood Freddie Mercury Tribute Gig, Wembley 1992

Tom Read Wilson needs to read all Thomas Hardy and Charles Dickens novels as audiobooks. They would be exquisite. I would buy every single one. #ImACeleb

Books are great Christmas presents. Easy to wrap. Low in calories. Usually somewhere in that not terrible £10-£20 bracket. Available in many colours. Can be posted easily (unlike a hoover or two hoovers for example) Personal to both you and the recipient. Available to buy from me.

Lovely lovely Wirksworth ❤️

Found these for the first time in years! They are the same size and have the same taste as they always have. Exactly as I remember them and they have made me so happy 😁 #NotEverythingHasToChange #GraysHerbalTablets

Nice to see the supermarkets’ record profits being used on all those A-list celebrity fees for their Christmas ads. If you can afford Keira Knightly or Dawn French, you can afford to knock a few pence off your spuds 🙄 #ripoffbritain

When the weather’s like this, there’s no instruction book for what to do with a cat that has the energy of 463 toddlers and wants to destroy everything you own.

Just heard the news about Richard Darbyshire. I was always disappointed that Living in a Box didn’t go on to have more commercial success - but I had no idea he wrote for other people. 65 is no age 😓 www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Had the weirdest experience with a new Osteopath yesterday. He spent 30 mins hovering his fingers around the base of my neck, barely even touching me. Then he gently pulled my arm a bit. Suddenly, for the first time in 6 months, I can lift my right arm above my head #frozenshoulder #AndThatsMagic

A cozy night in with my two favourite things 🖤🐈‍⬛

Welcome to Microsoft Teams. Where no two logins are ever the same.

Explain a film plot badly: Some author fella gets his ankles caved in by a mentalist.

Seriously. JUST BAN THE FUCKING THINGS. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Had my Freedom of Information request for a (forced) confession statement denied by Derbyshire Constabulary yesterday. Their reason was that to release it would be upsetting for the relatives of the victim. I think the fact the police never actually looked for her real killer might upset them more 🤬

Just tried my first matcha latte. Now feeling as green as the matcha 🤢

Today's mood...

After years of trying to smooth and sleek my rebellious wavy hair, I’ve decided, if you can’t beat ‘em. Meet my new ‘shag’ which has air-dried naturally at the back. Something I’ve never been able to do before. An absolute bloody luxury and worth every penny of the £98 Andrew Collinge price tag 😳

Repost this with you and your significant other (not really):

Just spent a wonderful couple of hours at Heage Windmill, a few mins from home. It dates back to the the late 1700s and is still a fully working mill. The weather was gloriously windy so the mill was in full flow. Those rhythmic chunterings almost sent to me to sleep. Absolutely beautiful ❤️

This year, if anyone asks what I want for Christmas, instead of saying “I’m alright thanks”, I’m going to say “Actually, I’d love egg yolk ravioli in brown butter sauce with crispy sage leaves. Cooked for me by Gordon Ramsay.” Please and thank you.

Serious question: Is the world generally full of more tw*ts these days, or have I just got better at spotting them as I've got older? 😡

Recent overnight visitors 🥰

Post a song that you don't hear often, but when it does come on the radio, you stop whatever you're doing, and CRANK IT UP TO 11!! 🤘🎸

I started re-bingeing Damages this week. Haven’t seen it since it first came out. Jesus, it’s just SO good!! 👏👏

Happy 84th birthday, Paul Simon. (Dear Universe, please wrap him up in cotton wool, and keep him safe forever. Thank you 😟)

She was always so completely and confidently beautiful. RIP Diane Keaton 💔

The warms temps in the Dales this year, have thrown up a tonne of weird and wonderful beasties that I’ve never encountered before. Today’s offering is the western Conifer Seed Bug. Not a great pic but he moved and I freaked 🤣

My Tulip Tree gives the most magnificent Autumn display. Not only do the leaves go a beautiful shade of gold, they also get tiger stripes 🐅

I really need the loo 😫

Coogan. Stop getting Partridge wrong 😫

RIP the glorious Patricia Routledge. To me she will always be Kitty; delivering Victoria Wood's monologues with pin-sharp precision ❤ VW always knew who would do the best job with her words, and was never afraid to give her best lines away, for the good of the comedy.

Did you watch The Hack? I can't believe papers have gotten away with destroying lives for so long. That's why I've signed the petition, set up by Hugh Grant and other phone hacking victims, to demand fair, independent regulation. Join me: you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/a-...

To my reader friends! Simon at @biggreenbooks.bsky.social has set up a club, where we can all give just £1 a week and Simon will spend it on books for disadvantaged kids who need them. As membership grows, the more books he can send out - please join in! www.biggreenbookshop.com/big-green-bo...

Just finished bingeing #TheHack. I was enthralled. Top marks to David Tennant for maintaining his English accent brilliantly, whilst constantly surrounded by Scotsmen!! And to Anna Higginson for the stunning production design. Robert Carlyle completely stole the show for me. Superb. 👍

Going to a gig tonight so thought I’d check out the venue ahead time. This is how we do gigs in Derbyshire 😊:

Hi Internet! I'm Drew and THIS IS MY FACE. If this GIF has ever brought you joy in the past, I humbly ask you to consider making a donation to the National MS Society. It would mean a lot to me and to those I know affected by the disease! Donate at blinkingguy.com

Taking a day trip to Liverpool tomorrow for some house hunting. There’s only one guy whose company I want on the journey ❤️

As a single person living away from friends and family, I have to be mindful of what would happen to me in an emergency. Today, I let my closest people know each others contact details, and what to do if anything happens to me here. Sadly, they all now think I've got a secret terminal illness 😬

On Ep2 of #coldwater. Wanted to see it for Eve Myles, but Andrew Lincoln’s character is driving me nuts. Who eaves drops outside a glass door ffs?! Not sure I’ll be sticking with this 🙄

More cuteness cam!

I love having a cat, but I struggle with their instinct to kill for fun. Stevie is a hunter. My daily 'carcass patrol' of the garden yields at least 4/5 rodents and the odd bird. But today's haul included a sparrowhawk. Only half of it was identifiable. Should I be impressed, or grossed out? 😳

It’d be rude not to 🥰 #Perrins

Wasps making fine use of the local nesting boxes 😲 It’s a piece of original “stripey bastard” artwork.

Better late than never. Off to Uni I go, aged 54! #Buzzin

Space in my spare room is tight, so instead of a bulky headboard, I’ve installed a cozy corner using wooden wall panels. I’m crap at DIY, but these were easy I’m really chuffed with how they look! #ideservecoffee