I wish the comics who performed at the Riyadh Comedy Fest would just be honest & say they did it for the money. I’d respect it more than the “comedy as cultural diplomacy” bit. If telling jokes in hostile environments truly moved the progressive needle, we wldn’t still have red states here at home.

I’m a pretty happy person except every now and then I think, “What if the Big Bang was just the gun going off in God’s mouth?”

Had a blast pretending I know what I’m talking about while being mentioned alongside The Head And The Heart! Huge thanks to New Jersey Stage for letting me ramble on about how music, comedy, & community all intersect & the ongoing pursuit of emotionally destroying people with heartfelt conversation.

Zoinks! Getting a jumpstart on promoting some upcoming shows! Joanne and I are looking forward to returning to The DC Comedy Loft this summer August 22nd and 23rd! Purchase tix at the website on the graphic! Come out and support!

Maron didn’t just set the bar for podcasting, he made it matter. He was the blueprint. He exorcised the industry by making it raw, personal, and necessary. Hard not to feel like anyone who picked it up afterward was just stealing the mic, recording into the echo of everything he built.

Media outlets are writing thinkpieces about how no one knows how to do publicity anymore because their own platforms shattered the concept. They broke it, then monetized the mess. We’ve officially entered the ouroboros PR cycle.

We lost a true original. Loretta Swit wasn’t just Hot Lips—she was heart, bite, grace, and grit. The first time Mike Farrell appeared on Dystopia Tonight I called her to see if she’d like to come on towards the end to surprise him. We all talked for another 40 min. Pure joy. Rest easy, Major.

Canned Tomato Sauce

Join the NO KINGS protest all around the country on Saturday, June 14. Go to indivisible.org to find the one near you, or start one where we need it.

Toms River, I love you, but it’s time to put Olive Garden Mussolini in a home.

I didn’t know George Wendt well outside of the iconic characters he brought to life, but I was lucky enough to share some time with him during last year’s 24-hour MS benefit.

Overheard at a #Jersey Diner: Waitress: (To a 6 year old boy) - Better eat all your vegetables! I bet you thought you left your mom at home huh? Boy: Actually she left us. Me:

Springsteen calling out Trump’s corruption from across the Ocean is classic Jersey. We speak the truth even if it’s off the turnpike, even if it’s in 4/4 time, even if it comes with a price. Because silence costs more and as the Boss says in the song, “Our dreams will not be thwarted.”

My New Adult Coloring Book is out! And only 10 bucks!

Congrats, to my Canadian friends!! Color me proud, jealous, and fully ready to hide inside a moose until customs clears me.

Virginia Giuffre’s voice rattled the foundations of power and her silence now is fucking deafening. Her death isn’t just tragic, it’s a brutal reminder of what trauma doesn’t let go of… even when the world pretends it has.

National Average Price for a Gallon of Regular Gas: January 2025 - $3.08 April 2025 - $3.15 National Average Price for a Dozen Eggs: January 2025 - $4.95 April 2025 - $6.23

Practicing my Pompeii pose in case I go out in these fires. Right now I’m between “born-to-run freeze” and “collapsed dramatically clutching a pork roll egg and cheese.”

#PopeFrancis died less than 24 hours after meeting JD Vance — which, in Catholic lore, basically makes Vance a biblical plague.

You know those ‘80s movies where the nerdier of two friends gets pulled in by the bullies—then starts telling you “they’re not that bad”? Yeah. That’s Maher now. And America’s the friend he sold out to feel cool.

Unless these guys have their publicists waterboarding you between drafts, there is zero reason to keep writing the same headline about the same hacks saying the same shit. Over. And over. And over.

“Anti-woke comic” is just code for “Guy yells about pronouns and calls it a special.” If media outlets had even an ounce of journalistic integrity—or hell, just a working attention span—they’d stop giving oxygen to the same five comedians running tired culture war bits like they’re breaking news.

Let me just say this — no one in their right fucking mind is looking to Bill Maher to help heal a severed connection with a family member who voted for a Nazi.

Gotta hand it to Wisconsin: beat the billionaire and took his money. Crawford didn’t just win—she made Musk fund it. Now that’s justice.

I’m joining John Poveromo on his 24 hour live stream benefit podcast to end MS. I’ll be on at 9:00 A.M. Pacific on Thurs., March 27. My podcast is called NOBODY LISTENS TO PAULA POUNDSTONE. He's tired already.

@johnfugelsang.bsky.social 🗣️ w/ @greatgrey-17.bsky.social about current 📰 & her poli cartoons #Politoonitics + comedians @johnpoveromo.bsky.social & @paulapoundstone.bsky.social 🗣️ about their new special The Dystopia Tonight annual 24 Hour live Stream Benefit to End MS pca.st/episode/20bd...

The 24 hour live stream MS benefit starts TONIGHT at 8pm! I will be joining my pal @johnpoveromo.bsky.social tomorrow morning at 8am EST. Info below to tune in and donate. (Not available on Signal.)

9 days away!! Early donations are welcome. Very welcome. In fact I insist! Thanks to the amazing Kylie Moore at New Jersey 101.5 for covering this!

It’s absolutely a show of submission. “Liberal” politicians roll over for conservatives, wagging their tails for common ground while the other side just nods, takes it in, and refuses to concede a fucking thing. At the end of the day, it makes their supposedly moral beliefs look like hobbies.

I do @johnpoveromo.bsky.social comedy marathon every year & it's always hilarious - great people, great talk, raising money for a great cause - fighting MS! (Smart funny people believe in science!) Join us! Amazing line-up throughout. Thank you, John Poveromo!

🚨 IT’S BACK! 🚨 Dystopia Tonight’s 4th Annual 24-Hour Livestream Benefit to End MS is March 26-27, 8 PM ET! 24 hours of comedy, music & chaos—all for the National MS Society! Watch live on Twitch & help us break last year’s $10K+ record! ☕🔥 #DystopiaTonight #MSBenefit #EndMS #NationalMSSociety

Not Candace Owens defending #AndrewTate for sex trafficking, insisting he’s really under attack for “his views,” while Tate sits there struggling—because it’s the first time he’s heard a woman talk this much without needing to forge her work visa.

A Democrat from 20 years ago is about as useful to us today as a Democrat holding a pickleball paddle that says “Resist” like it’s an actual form of protest.

Bravo to #AlGreen for standing up for what’s right. And if you need tips on handling Trump sycophants chanting “USA” like a bunch of frat bros — the same ones who think lining their pockets after every school shooting is somehow protected by the 2nd Amendment — I’ve got some experience with that…

Demi Moore made a movie about the horrors of aging in Hollywood — then lost the Oscar to a younger actress. Sometimes the universe commits to the bit. #Oscars

Oscar night! So, I took out this beauty this morning, just to hold it again. “You love to act. You love showbusiness. You know your history. You should have this.” It’s his program from the year he was awarded the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. He signed it. I cried. Happy Oscars!!!

Historically, Zelensky’s visit marks the first time since Jan 20th that we’ve had an actual president in the Oval Office.

My phone knows my face so well it unlocks when I’m half asleep in the dark — but if I say “fascist government,” it types “fashion government,” and now I’m on a watchlist for completely different reasons.

JD Vance is smiling because he just got laid. Rubio is frowning because he knows Vance fucked the couch.

Wild how the same people who shrug off the rise of a fascist Trump regime because “No administration ever really affects my life” are absolutely convinced that a trans person using the bathroom is somehow destroying it.

Wild how the same people who shrug off the rise of a fascist Trump regime because “no administration ever really affects my life” are absolutely convinced that drag queens reading books to kids is an existential threat.

Wild how the same people who shrug off the rise of a fascist Trump regime because “No administration ever really affects my life” are absolutely convinced an undocumented family they’ll never meet is somehow destroying it.

Rogan’s less of an interviewer and more of a hype man for a guy who talks like a malfunctioning audiobook. Watching a guy who built his brand on calling out hack comics giggle like a kid at a sleepover every time Elon drops a “joke” so deep you’d need a snorkel for a puddle is embarrassing.

Soon, I will be a guest on the very talented @johnpoveromo.bsky.social podcast, Dystopia Tonight. He has had some amazing guests (Jay Leno; Paul Reiser; Will Wheaton), but will be slumming it with me. In the meantime, check out and subscribe to the podcast! www.youtube.com/@DystopiaTon...

Reminder: Elon has 13 kids by four different women and there is not a single hint of “family values” in using your current child as a political prop in front of cameras in the Oval Office while completely abandoning another who is Trans.

Nothing says ‘freedom’ like letting a disease we basically eradicated make a comeback. Congrats to measles on its unexpected 2025 tour—apparently, science wasn’t convincing enough, but a trip to the ICU might be.

Did they refuse or did they just forget where it is?

Well at least we’re getting closer to the part of a dystopia where our oppressors all drive the same vehicle. After all, nothing says ‘unstoppable force of authoritarian control’ like a fleet of cars that can be defeated by a rogue software update.

BREAKING NEWS: unelected billionaire, Phony Stark, uses son as PR stunt. #elonmusk

I know there are more pressing concerns right now but I swear to god there was a point in time where you had to reach old age and a certain weight before you started laughing like Dick Dastardly’s dog and then suddenly everyone regardless of either started doing it and I have questions.