Dear ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICOm Albuquerque Journal Theater on Fri., April 3 my.nmculture.org/50151/51642 In high school I was voted most likely to make a Saguaro cactus laugh.

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, I'm coming to tell my little jokes at The Jeanne Wagner Theater on Thurs., April 2 www.saltlakecountyarts.org/events/paula... Get your tickets. Get your laughs.

Paula Poundstone Hey, LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, Come laugh at The Wallis Annenberg Center for the Arts— Fri. June 12 tickets.thewallis.org/21897/21898 You don't have to audition. Just get your tickets, anc come laugh.

Remember to tell ICE agents at the airport how good they look with a nose, mouth, and chin.

Today's "Hey, Donald Trump" on Youtube, called "Trump's Big Present," is under "videos."

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, Join me for a night of laughter at The Jeanne Wagner Theater on Thurs., April 2 www.saltlakecountyarts.org/events/paula...

PORT ANGELES, WASHINGTON, Let's make history protesting THIS Saturday, March 28, and THEN laugh ourselves silly that night. Join me at Tne Field Arts and Events Hall—Sat. March 28. fieldhall.ludus.com/index.php?sh...

LOS ANGELES, CA, Join me for big laughs at THE WALLIS on Fri., June 12. I used to do comedy shows at THE WALLIS when it was a post office. This is gonna be better. tickets.thewallis.org/21897/21898

They don't.

With the No Kings Rally just days away (March 28!), we’ve got Indivisible.org’s co-founder back to tell us all about it! And once that important stuff is out of the way, we turn to the unimportant: Trivia Multiple Choice! Listen wherever you get your pods.

Trump believes he's going to joinlty control the Strait of Hormuz with the Ayatollah, because they did so well in that three legged race at The Palm Beach County Fair last year.

Hey, LOS ANGELES, where I almost never perform, because there are so many big stars people would rather see, I'm gonna tell 'em at THE WALLIS in BEVERLY HILLS on Saturday, June 12! tickets.thewallis.org/21897/21898 . Whoo-Da-Hoo!

Dear TSA, ARe you getting this? Trump won't allow you to be paid unless he is allowed to cheat on the elections.

Dear TSA, ARe you getting this? Trump won't allow you to be paid unless he is allowed to cheat on the elections.

I should work at this place.

Time to #ImpeachRemoveConvict

ALBUQUERQUE, NEW MEXICO, Let's laugh at The Albuquerque Journal Theater on Fri., April 3 my.nmculture.org/50151/51642 I've been to the Hot Air Balloon Festival in Albuquerque, but I still think of The Partidge Family first when I hear the name.

The Trump children are taught insider trading in preschool.

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, Join me for a nigth of laughter at The Jeanne Wagner Theater in the city of surprises on Thurs., April 2. www.saltlakecountyarts.org/events/paula... Get your tickets. Get your laughs.

PORT ANGELES, WASHINGTON, Spend your night laughing at Field Arts and Events Hall after you protest on Sat. March 28. fieldhall.ludus.com/index.php?sh... Get your tickets. Get your laughs.

Cartoon by Jeff Koterba

NO KINGS DAY IS MARCH 28TH. Since Trump has taken power, ICE had terrorized our communities, our country has been forced into an illegal war, and conditions in the U.S. continue to worsen from the gas pump to TSA lines. Make a stand, and go to NoKings.org to find a No Kings protest near you.

Marc Murphy, Louisville Courier-Journal

This week's @waitwait was soooo much fun!. There was a new panelist, Shane, who fit like an old pair of jeans...funny jeans. #WaitWaitDontTellMe

This week's @waitwait was soooo much fun!. There was a new panelist, Shane, who fit like an old pair of jeans...funny jeans. #WaitWaitDontTellMe

SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH, I'm coming to the City of Surprises to The Jeanne Wagner Theater on Thurs., April 2 www.saltlakecountyarts.org/events/paula... Get your tickets. Get your laughs.

Hey, PORT ANGELES, WASHINGTON, THIS SATURDAY, MARCH 28, We're gonna tell the world we have NO KINGS here, by day, and laugh ourselves silly by night. Join me at The Field Arts and Events Hall fieldhall.ludus.com/index.php?sh...

All right, I’m jealous. That sounds great!

A little while after I was about to tell ‘em in La Jolla, California.

Thank you to the Albuquerque Journal! www.abqjournal.com/lifestyles/a...

Wow! I might have to go there. Thanks, Jonathan.

"NO KINGS DAY" is Saturday, March 28. Go to indivisible.org to find our where and when your nearest protest will be. It's lots of fun, AND you can let the world know that Donald Trump does not represent who we are. #ImpeachRemoveConvict

"NO KINGS DAY" is Saturday, March 28. Go to indivisible.org to find our where and when your nearest protest will be. It's lots of fun, AND you can let the world know that Donald Trump does not represent who we are. #ImpeachRemoveConvict

PORT ANGELES, WASHINGTON—Field Arts and Events Hall—Sat. March 28. fieldhall.ludus.com/index.php?sh... "NO KINGS" Daay afterparty!

MESA, ARIZONA, When you stand on the corner in MESA, ARIZONA, on your way to Mesa Arts Center THIS Sat. March 21. You've got big laughs on your mind. www.mesaartscenter.com/show-details... Get your tickets. Get your laughs.

LA JOLLA, CALIFORNIA, Come laugh at The Garfield TheaterTHIS Fri., March 20. martinmediaworldwide.ticketspice.com/paula-pondst... Get your tickets. Get your laughs. It's gonna be a hoot.

LA JOLLA, CALIFORNIA, Come laugh at The Garfield TheaterTHIS Fri., March 20. martinmediaworldwide.ticketspice.com/paula-pondst... Get your tickets. Get your laughs. It's gonna be a hoot.

Dr. Eleanor is back, and she’s talking about her new obsession: Forensic entomology! She’ll explain how insects are helping us fight crime. And then, you call us out on OUR crimes and misdemeanors - it’s a new “Mailbag!”

PORT ANGELES, WASHINGTON, Lose yourself in a couple of hours of laughter at The Field Arts and Events Hall—Sat. March 28. fieldhall.ludus.com/index.php?sh...

Far more than most will ever jump, Michael.

MESA, ARIZONA, THIS SATURDAY enjoy a night os sanity producing laughter at The Mesa Arts Center—Sat. March 21. www.mesaartscenter.com/show-details...

MESA, ARIZONA, THIS SATURDAY enjoy a night os sanity producing laughter at The Mesa Arts Center—Sat. March 21. www.mesaartscenter.com/show-details...

LA JOLLA, CALIFORNIA, We're gonna laugh the roof off the Garfield Theater THIS Fri., March 20. martinmediaworldwide.ticketspice.com/paula-pondst...

CARTOON OF THE DAY (From slyngstad )

They should not.

Thank you, Down withthis sort of thing. It's good to know we didn't clear up any confusion. Once you explain stuff to people there'll be no end to it.

Timothee Chalamet gave a fantastic, Oscar nominated performance in a good movie, which is more than most of us will ever do. I don't see that as a huge loss.

🖋️ “Congress declares war, not the President. Take your responsibility back!” hit 100 signers!

Thanks, Karen! I had a great time there. I neede you, too.