The Pirates didn't make me recoil in horror, so that's an improvement

Just thinking how the pirates have two position players with out of this world tools. One was a shortstop two years ago, so he's playing center. One was a center fielder, so he's playing short.

💃 new toilet day 💃

There is a growing section of shirtless Rockies fans at Coors Field chanting "Take it off, take it off!" the group is getting bigger as more topless people join

just thinking about him, no particular reason

however you may feel free to run on Joey Bart

*beastie boys voice* they call me nicky STICKS, I'm five eight and I love to HIT

Mitch "No Decision" Keller

justin lawrence: not good!

it's simple: if Bob Walk's in the booth I'm having a good day

spilled red wine on my macbook a few days ago. It's working fineish, but the backlighting on the keys where the wine spilled has a distinct pinkish tint

God I love to watch Manny Machado strike out. I'll be a hater till the day I die

I'm hearing that we're back 🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️

Update: I got through and his staff told me they “couldn’t say” whether he supports the use of nuclear weapons in Iran.

most beautiful city in america baby

Marcell Obooooooooooona

oh so we're playing Weird Baseball today

I've been on the record as a Triolo believer for a while now and I was really excited for him to get a long look as the starting 3B. In the past it really seemed like he hit better whenever Ke' was out for a while and he got consistency in the field. Boooo

fuck this

Christopher Bassitt's Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

oh so we're playing Weird Baseball today

Do NOT run on Henry Davis

merry fucking griffmas

the vibes on the pirates are so good right now it's making me a little bit scared

Griffin debut a week after he didn't make the team has got to be them just slow walking an extension announcement, right? Otherwise it would just look like the Pirates' front office has no idea what they're doing, which is obviously crazy.

Putting my mental health in the hands of a 6'7" 19 year old. We're going to make it everyone

SUPER BOWL

Oneil Cruz and Bryan Reynolds have started to hit.

I love the Cone Era

5'8"*

Up three in the sixth is exactly the situation when I want to see Carmen Mlodzinski come in, but apparently we have to keep letting him chase his starter dreams.

One of my Cruz takes is that he's incredibly susceptible to vibes, which has been a real detriment given the rancid character of the team the last few years. Baseball attributes aside, this is why Jake Mangum was an elite offseason pickup.

be gentle everyone, Paul Skenes has never pitched with a lead before

Hoist that cone!

First two series of the season and we get to see Richard Lovelady AND Pierce Johnson? My cup runneth over

Bubba Chandler: chaos demon

Did they do anything to the homer welding mask to make it possible to see out of or are we going to see one of the most embarassing injuries of all time this year?

standard Oneil Cruz game: - fuck up one extremely routine play - make a play that nobody else could - hit the ball through an infielder, killing him instantly - stolen base

i am no defender of cruz's outfield ability at this point but it's hard to see how that's not reynolds' fault

the pirates defense is a land of contrasts

midseason form

Hunter Barco I have always believed in you

Mitch "No Decision" Keller

This route is planned like they’re about to lose their life savings playing basement shows for 10 people

There is another

If you're just tuning in, with Paul Skenes on the bump the Buccos put up 7 runs with three dingers on opening day, no need to look at the box score, all is well

it feels like nobody told the baseball gods spring training is over

yelling "everybody's safe" during a pirates-mets game has never once been true