When I went under for surgery, the doctor asked me what I had to eat last. I was out before I could answer and woke up yelling "BURRITO".

I need noise while I read so I threw on episodes of This Old House for my carpenter husband to yell at.

Every 20 years we find out somebody gave Clinton head like a comet coming back into our orbit.

I love data people sometimes because teehee sperm.

Jack funded Bluesky and look at their censorship. I miss Vine but his support means it'll be trash as well.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME BLUESKY

Like I fucking said, Aaron is not one of us.

Bluesky Bootlickers are about to have a hell of a day trying to argue on their behalf for the next 24 hrs. We all see you.

My neighbor is sending me videos of them yelling at hockey and they have the most Canadian accents you have ever heard in your life. They heard our accents starting to form and I was like 🥹🥹🥹

Anthony Bourdain: I'm alive for 24 hrs. What'd I miss? Me: People, who are probably fans of yours, are saying Johnny Cash lyrics count as legitimate death threats.

the only good accent work on earth is old money transatlantic american to make fun of rich people accent

Judge: you're suing because you wrote an article about Johnny Cash. And when someone said his most famous, globally recognized lyrics back to you, you thought you were going to be killed? Author: yes Judge: damn that article WAS bad

If we have to replace Tylenol and Ibuprofen then obviously it should be with Cholula drenched fried eggs.

*karaokes Jerk-off by Tool and gets imprisoned for murder* *flag waving in the distance*

Excceeellllennntt. That money is staying in Canada.

I love it when my dog farts so loudly she scares herself and needs to be held.

Sarah Kendzior used Johnny Cash lyrics to talk about a Johnny Cash article.

The Scripture says, when you resist the enemy, he will flee. He doesn’t have a choice. He can’t stay when you use your dick-given authority.

I had no idea Canada was so capable!! Perfection!!!!

This makes me so damn happy. Congratulations, @wilsonforseattle.bsky.social !! An ex-seattleite in Canada can't wait to see you be a great mayor!!

PTSD diagnosed folks unable to accept any injustice no matter how slight.... I'm ripping 20 years off my life tonight.

Self-important people calling others self-important means I deserve a shot of really good scotch.

Tonight we're drinking IPAs and playing Satisfactory. The snark about corporations in this game is 🤌.

I saw this last week and I’m still not over it

Since they're banning anyone for any reason whatsoever, I want to make sure that before I am banned, y'all know that Canadians do not know this guy. We don't know Drake, Bieber, or this Aaron guy who has never done his own job before. Failing up white guy.

I want video of a drone constantly knocking the straw from elon's hand while he does coke.

My fb memories 3 years ago today

It's odd that I'm seeing all of these negative comments about her now that she's been suspended and it all feels very high school. I don't know if they're valid or not but like.... y'all are rude.

They're so mad the youth aren't falling for alcohol's bullshit.

Bring back Sarah Kendzior and Link

Today is the publication day for WITHOUT CONSENT, a book I am so proud to share with the world, and that the New York Times Book Review says "is years — decades — overdue." Read more, and order in your preferred format from your favorite retailer here: www.sarahweinman.com/book/without...

Costco has frozen cookie dough balls that you can keep in your freezer and grab for snackies.

There's a piece of the Berlin Wall at the Redmond Microsoft campus.

After watching a few years of the Bon Appetit channel, I can confirm these cooks have no idea about American cuisine outside of the NE.

"Your shallow-song has no rhythm. The river erodes our temples without prayers and washes away our scripture without deepening. Consume." Satisfactory (video game)

I've been keeping my phone in a cabinet lately and it's helping me mentally. Barely even reach for it after only a few days.

Death by Lightning. I'm so very glad this show was made.

The "service" includes settings for hiding certain types of content, warning you that the skeet contains such content before you see it, or simply turning off the filter. If you've never been here before, you'll find things like "rude" or "threats" are set to "Hide".

Wondering why no one likes your posts anymore, even among your friends? It's because @jay.bsky.team and team have decided to hide a huge amount of content from all of our feeds by default. Here's how to turn it off. First go to the hamburger menu in the upper left corner

How men act around women is not the fault of women.

Honestly.... it was always infuriating as a daughter of immigrants to be engrossed in US politics while all of my white friends with generations in the States never even thought about them. They still don't. All of them have been directly impacted and they've still read nothing.

Want to play a role in making sure Katie wins? Sign up at the following link to help our team - make sure that every vote gets counted. docs.google.com/forms/u/0/d/...

The remaining items I still order from the States and need Canadian replacements for: -Coffee (CENSORED) -Spices (Penzey's) -Allergy meds (Zyrtec)

This is such a gross and ignorant response to people using drugs. I shouldn't have to bring up how quickly it delivers dopamine to traumatized people in a society where therapy isn't covered and costs $100/hr. Not to mention the stigma therapy still has for many.

The biggest uncalled election is the SEATTLE mayoral race. Mayor Bruce Harrell leads Katie Wilson by 11,183 votes (or 8.2%), with 137K ballots counted. Why is this not over? Here's what we know. ⬇️

I'm not sure there's anyone on the planet who deserved to celebrate the defeat of Andrew Cuomo more than Lindsey, who had unimaginable amounts of courage in coming forward and continuing to push until he suffered actual consequences for sexual harassment thrilled for her

Another pathetic turnout.

Bon Appetit channel used the words "bland" and "boring" to describe mashed potatoes. I paced in my kitchen for five minutes about it.

"Order in the Courtroom" sponsored by DoorDash.

Mamdani won. All Virginia won. Supreme Court of Pennsylvania won. Tariffs (probably) lost. I… am very close to having… hope. Which is fucking dangerous.