Cheese at subway is cut into triangles which famously tessellate. Subway worker, I’ll just drop these from a great height and hope for the best…

Hour cryptic

Minute cryptic is a par 7 today ffs

Complete on the house move tomorrow - water leaking through our landing lights today. About to go and play on the M1

Government is weak as piss

@psalisbury.bsky.social didn’t realised you’d seconded on to social media influencer role

Harrys started copying us when we put a clothe in front of our face and pull it down to do peekaboo. He holds his muslin in front of his face and pulls it down smiling 😂

Whilst incels are using AI to undress young women on the other app I’m using it to change the colour of the current owners fridge freezer in our new house so we can see whether we can get away with a black fridge freezer. What a time to be alive

Ha 2 after 8 mints are considered a serving.

Minute Cryptic - 31 December, 2025 "Hunted lost bear, sleep-deprived grizzly with an appetite" (8) 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🏆 0 hints – 2 under the community par (46,643 solvers so far). www.minutecryptic.com?utm_source=s...

World famous city ground emptying like an elevator after a fart

Transferring baby from arms to cot without waking them is a high I’ll chase for the rest of my life. Parent crack.

Laura egging me on to have a slice of Brie on a pig in Blanket during our boxing night cheese board. She must have remembered I’ve got 2 life insurance policies.

Derbys entire first eleven decided to spend Christmas Day trying heroin by the looks of this #dcfc

Maltesers or scone for second breakfast???

My advice to people generally is: stop asking people about their plans to start/extend their family. It’s innocent, enthusiastic, curiosity but you’re not there to pick up the pieces when one of the people asked is inconsolable when you’ve left because they’re actively trying with no luck.

The time after Harry drops into a deep sleep in my arms after he’s fought sleep for 10 minutes previous is the most relaxing part of my day. I usually start a guardian quick cryptic and enjoy a cuppa with this beautiful lad lay on me. Perfect

Fingers crossed for some serious spinal injuries to those attending a Boxing Day hunt today.

Me and Laura had two very different approaches to getting each other a gift from Harry… She bought me a lovely book to read with him and I bought her reinforced wine glasses 😂

Lauras taken Harry for a nap. Contrary to the question mark, this isn’t actually a question…

Roll on this hunting ban. Just rich people who can’t get a hard on without watching a helpless animal be ripped to pieces. Who cares if it leaves a few tens of people looking for a new job. Serves them right for monetising cruelty.

My sisters birthday today. Earlier this week ‘josh you free Sunday?’ Me assuming she was going to suggest the pub or something ‘yeah sure’ ‘I’ve entered a 10k can you enter too and pace me so I can try for sub60?’ Unbelievable. So yeah here we are getting our running gear instead.

Minute Cryptic - 21 December, 2025 ""Too many!" you said, leaving a throuple arrangement" (8) 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🏆 0 hints – 2 under the community par (32,938 solvers so far). www.minutecryptic.com?utm_source=s...

Happy Christmas!

How is it that we let absolute planks design school buildings? Just where is the common sense?

We want 4 we want 4 #dcfc

If it wasn’t for all the school shootings I’d genuinely believe that America doesn’t have an education system

Christ how long has the boneless banquet been 13 quid at KFC?

1 like and ill order takeaway for the second night running

Jobsworth pharmacists at a boots sending Laura away when trying to buy emla cream for a tattoo when the emla website literally tells you that using during tattoos is one of its uses. Next boots pharmacy sells it without even asking what it’s for…

The NPQSL case studies make me smile. ‘Me and the headteacher decided to pause all of my other duties so I could focus on the attendance issue of this group of year 10s’ My experience is you’d have kept all other responsibilities and the attendance issue would have been added on too 😂

The AQA level 2 further maths spec doesn’t include having to complete the square to find the eq of a circle but the AQA approved hodder text book does????? Anyone

Minute Cryptic - 8 December, 2025 "Went inside, texting "thanks xx"" (6) ⚪️🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🏆 1 hints – 1 under the community par (87,488 solvers so far). www.minutecryptic.com?utm_source=s... Clever that

Minute Cryptic - 7 December, 2025 "Tease astrologer, half curiously" (5) 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🏆 0 hints – 1 under the community par (78,420 solvers so far). www.minutecryptic.com?utm_source=s... We’re back 😎

Ekitike is so good

Being benched because you’re stinking the place out with your performances isn’t being thrown under the bus ha. Salahs had more shots hit row z this season than have gone in.

I just don’t understand cheering your player off when he’s been substituted (not in a celebration of his performance but literally cheering him going off), what do you possibly hope to achieve? A confidence boost? Toxic fans strike again #dcfc

Lucky to have nil #dcfc

Fiona Bruce is a really crap anchor for QT

That VAR decision taking 5 minutes is no reflection on how clear or obvious the mistake was. It was a reflection on how dreadful VAR has been implemented in this country. Should have taken 15 seconds max

The songs I listened to most this year. #SpotifyWrapped Banger after banger

Sparx doesn’t justify the extortionate cost for me. I think it’s great but there are flaws with it that mean it shouldn’t be that much more expensive than the competition. Eg No second groups for students - it’d be a dream if we had a cohort where an entire class did Fmaths as well as GCSE maths

It’s our lockdown drill today. Offered to walk around with a balaclava on as it’s during my free just to make it more realistic.

Minute Cryptic - 3 December, 2025 "False image in which water finally appears!?" (6) 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🏆 0 hints – 1 under the community par (24,518 solvers so far). www.minutecryptic.com?utm_source=s...

Minute Cryptic - 2 December, 2025 "Sitting in class, I'm pleading for a piece of cake" (6) 🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣🟣 🏆 0 hints – 1 under the community par (90,998 solvers so far). www.minutecryptic.com?utm_source=s...

Harry’s been ill this weekend so my weekend to recharge after a hectic mock period has been smashed to pieces. And to think some of you manage to do this with more than 1!?

LinkedIn ‘congratulate … on being promoted to ‘founder of…’’ How do you get promoted to founder???? You either started it or you didn’t surely?

Had a poor run on minute cryptic yet just finished a guardian cryptic crossword in 10 minutes. Are the guardian ones so much easier?

Swansea have looked woeful

Swansea city 99% possession 0% goals