It's National Martini Day. Woo, boy.

God damn I want a personal pan pizza from the Book-It era of Pizza Hut, to feel like a good boy

Yo they got free Blue Raspberry Fruit Roll-Ups down at the reflecting pool in D.C.

Got my lawn all green in solidarity with the Reflecting Pool. So ready for July 4th!

Series Finale for The Apprentice Season 47.

Thinking of getting my bellybutton pierced, ya know, for a sassy little joke.

Thinking Thune is alone on this one. www.politico.com/live-updates...

Donald Trump is to Pizza Hut as Jared Fogle is to Subway.

Repost

EXONERATED GIRL SUMMER BAYBEEEEE

OCEANIA HAS ALWAYS BEEN VERY CLOSE TO A DEAL WITH EURASIA

If you stand in front of a mirror and say Charlie Kirk 5 times, he'll appear and say something racist to you.

Some of that good stuff.

I love that Otzi is still a thriving topic years after being discovered. This is a sculpture I saw of Otzi a dang ol' long time ago. I didn't catch the name of the artist, but I love it, like, a lot.

Donald J. Trump's Grave will be a Gender Neutral Restroom.

One for Anthony Stewart Head. www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNGj...

When the wind blows you can hear Donald Trump's nussy howling, like blowing over an empty bottle.

Marco Rubio is a completely spineless, lying little minion.

File Under: The Cruelty is The Point. They don't expect these displaced people to get jobs, not in this market. They expect them to be unable to fulfil these work obligations, lose their health coverage, then die and absolve their health insurance of any responsibility for their healthcare.

~Reagan Ruined Ev'rything, doo-dah, doo-dah~

Really enjoying how Schitt's Creek David *.GIFs are dominating the "ew" search options.

These guys gotta be stopped.

Straight Outta Comet, crazy motherfucker made'a Ice Cubes Masks is called one of Trek's Top Worst Episodes What's out there? Did Data need repair? multiple personalities up in there Star Trek title generator. Current flavors: Original, Animated, Next Generation, Deep Space Nine, and Voyager.

this is a masterpiece

This is so effin' stupid. They're letting one dumb effin' idiot pedophile screw with anything he wants, a guy that has never respected the word "No" in his life, and they're just letting him do any dumb thing he wants. Also, Donald Trump is the most anti-Christian politician in American history.

I think that Crayola should come out with new colors and one of them called "Dumb State" and it's just a red crayon.

Revising a draft of a script. Setting, Illinois, corn country. 1960s. Premise, after using a novel fungicide on the crop, farmers start disappearing. Corn stalks walk off on their own and parasitize people. Community rallies to contain the threat. Working tile, CORNTINE.

Babe, what's wrong? It's almost the end of What's the Frequency, Kenneth? and you haven't mentioned how the tempo slowed because bassist Matt Mills had an appendicitis attack, and the rest of REM naturally changed pace to match.

Currently drafting a script, working title SPIDET. Premise is spiders coming out of your bidet.

MAXIMUM EFFORT

Black people are giving it these Confederates raw and uncut. This is how it’s gonna be now. You wonder what we’re thinking? It’s this. I believe this is activist Gary Chambers again in Louisiana.

Why is Congress allowing this demented, belligerent pedophile to continue being the President of the United States of America? Why is anyone allowing this maniac weirdo to continue running things while he openly fantasizes to the press about erasing millions of innocent Iranians in nuclear fire?

J.K. Rowling is a trash-ass bigot and every game based on her magic John Lennon fanfiction can screw off.

Thinking about that peanut butter and jelly sandwich I hid under the piano when I was ten. Thinking about how my mom found it months later.

A Chinese scramjet dropship descends from the skies. Soldiers in exosuits push aid pallets down the ramp. From the treeline pasty bearded men in loincloths made from confederate flags emerge to throw spears at the evil metal bird. The year is 2027.

[Hits his vape pen, loaded with a vampire in mist form] fffffuuuuuuuuck, man.

Threatening the life of the president is protected free speech, but only when the president is a Democrat.

Get down too close to that lava and it's Barbecue City.

Whittling peacefully in my rocking chair, listening to the birds. "This is the life," I think as my chest shreds open, loosing thousands of dermestid beetles from my hollowed thoracic cavity.

Snatching eyelashes off of strangers and blowing them into the breeze, stealing their wishes.

Exactly one year ago today:

I've struggled to better describe White Privilege to folks who deny its existence or that they benefit from it. At the State, Capitalist level, regardless of race you're only worth your labor and exploitability to the ghouls at top. But, if you're White, you're not supposed to know it nor feel it.

The US can automatically register men to go to war but can’t register them to vote. They can afford billions on war but can’t give their citizens healthcare, housing, childcare or food assistance. War is profitable. People are cannon fodder. It’s exactly how the ruling class wants it.

Congratulations to NASA and the crew of the Artemis II for reaching the farthest-from-earthiest distance human beings have ever been in their test flight's lap around the Moon. :D

God damn, Liarpalooza is nuts this year. #SOTU

Just another night of listening to Donald Trump say "Hussein" with a hard R. #SOTU

WaNT tO FeeL oLd? Nickelodeon's Marc Summers is 74-years-old.