Hey! I have one of those!

This Is It! Our Black Friday Sale Ends Sunday. You work with Microsoft SQL Server, Azure SQL DB, and Amazon RDS SQL Server. When people call in saying the server is slow, you're the one who has to take the call. It's up to you to figure out the bottleneck, which queries are causing that…

Nice recap

Don’t ask me how I got purple first in NYT Connections today.

I don't know who needed to know this but Age of Empires 25th Anniversary Collection is on sale on Steam for 65% off. It includes AOE 1 - 4 and Age of Mythology and ALL of the DLC. store.steampowered.com/bundle/28326...

This was so much fun to put together. The results were also very interesting.

Good dude. Really good dude. Miss that guy.

Reading about how Postgres 18 does index skip scans made me wonder whether Microsoft SQL Server has that feature, and boom, there goes an hour of my life writing demos. Next up, adding a module to the Mastering Index Tuning class to talk through it. www.pgedge.com/blog/postgre...

Open sourced Zork today opensource.microsoft.com/blog/2025/11... and ran it on a swarm of containers in the cloud 😂

Not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good.

I am writing a book

SQL Server 2025 Is Out, and Standard Goes Up to 256GB RAM, 32 Cores! Today marks the official birthday of Microsoft SQL Server 2025. Here's where to download the evaluation version. Here are the top things you wanna consider as you talk to your managers, developers, and end users. The feature…

I just sent 89 emails to @brento.bsky.social.

100%. Terrible call. That call isn’t made in the men’s game period.

As of this morning, Starbucks workers across the country are officially ON STRIKE. And we're prepared for this to become the biggest and longest ULP strike in Starbucks history. Say #NoContractNoCoffee with us: DON'T BUY STARBUCKS for the duration of our open-ended ULP strike! $SBUX

So this happened today.

What it’s like living in Chicago during ICE’s Operation Midway Blitz.

The Chaos League never disappoints.

And the Tahoe Spotlight app launcher is total shit.

To my recollection, I don't think that I've ever seen a MacOS release as rough as Tahoe.

Next Week, Start My Mastering Classes for Free! You're a developer, database administrator, or DBRE who's been working with SQL Server, Azure SQL DB, and Amazon RDS SQL Server for yeeears. You're jaded. You're confident. You're pretty sure you know what you're doing. You've never taken my…

Black Friday Doorbusters End Today: Get In Before the Prices Go Up Welcome to my annual Black Friday sale, and I'm running special doorbuster deals to sweet talking you into taking the plunge quickly. On November 4, the Fundamentals bundle will go up to $295, and the Lifetime bundle will go up to…

Nine years ago the greatest baseball game ever was played on a Wednesday in Cleveland. 8-7 in 10.

This list is invalid. Where’s the lechon? Black beans and rice? Yuca? Enchilada sauce? Cuban bread? It’s missing too much.

Black Friday Doorbusters Are Open Now, Closing Monday! You've been telling yourself, "One of these days, I'll finally take Brent's classes." Get ready, because that day is here: my Black Friday sale runs all November long, and it's my lowest prices all year! SQL Server 2025, 2022, and 2019 all…

Hey Microsoft, that crappy stunt you pulled with Windows 10 is really something. Thanks for giving me a kick in the ass to move all of my machines over to Mac. No more ad-ridden bs OS for us anymore.

My annual Black Friday sale is open now, with doorbuster deals til Monday! It's my lowest prices of the year on the database goodies you really want: www.brentozar.com/blackfriday/

I ain't gonna lie, I kinda dig em.

Tron Ares was a fun flick. Even though the lead is a creep.

Holy shit

An independent autopsy funded by Colin Kaepernick challenges claims that a Black man lynched himself in Mississippi. Instead the findings show blunt force head trauma. Allegations also point to a confrontation with white college students over Charlie Kirk before his death.

dog ear a book and Mayor McCheese will beat your ass

I'm teaching a bunch of my Fundamentals training for free next month! Sign up here: www.brentozar.com/archive/2025...

I can't seem to find when the Astros play today.

Hey, when do the Mets play today?

🎶 Take a look, it's in a book 🎶 🥹 After nearly 20 years... Reading Rainbow is returning to motivate, help, and encourage kids to become avid readers with new episodes, new friends, new projects, and of course... new books! Make sure to follow the rainbow 📚🌈 #FollowTheRainbow

Your Developers Need Cheap SQL Training. Your developers haven't ever been to formal Microsoft database training on SQL Server or Azure SQL DB. They're struggling with trying to tune queries and indexes. Your apps keep getting slower as the data grows, and your queries keep getting more complex.…

Get my new Smart Postgres training for your entire team for just $995 - but only if you buy before October 1: smartpostgres.com/posts/get-po...

Free Webcasts Tomorrow & Wednesday I'm teaching my two most important classes live, online, completely free! These are the two fundamentals classes that I think everybody should start with, regardless of their experience with SQL Server or Azure SQL DB. I'll teach you the most important parts…

‘Booty’ and ‘butt’ are synonyms. ‘Call’ and ‘dial’ are synonyms. But, a ‘booty call’ and a ‘butt dial’ are VERY different things.

Houstonians! I'm coming to town on November 7th to teach a 1-day class on Mastering Query Tuning. Grab your tickets now: training.brentozar.com/p/mastering-...

Walmart spent $35.3B on stock buybacks from 2019 to 2024, enough to give each of its 2.2M employees annual bonuses of $2,719. Last year, Walmart CEO Doug McMillon pocketed $27.4M — 930x the company's median employee pay of just $29,469. Textbook corporate greed.

i like that the administration is run by dilettantes whose pathological unseriousness is illustrated by their total disregard for human life

The billionaires in this regard are not free.

ICE raided a battery plant run by Hyundai & LG Energy that was under construction and arrested hundreds of people including 30 Koreans on business trips. The U.S. government is actively sabotaging the economy and MAGA are too drunk on mass deportations and owning the libs to care.

Ideas? Never heard of them.

There is only one thing more cringe than “God Bless our First Lady. She, of course, is wiser than all of us” and it is “I am the U.S. Energy Secretary and I talk to ChatGPT about how to cure cancer.”

My toxic trait is that I quickly tire of a particular keyboard and am always looking for the next one.

A friend took this at a rally today and I barked laughing.

RIP Graham Greene. Every time he popped up on screen when I was a kid, my mom would excitedly point him out for being an actual Native on the screen. Able to be deadly serious and infinitely hilarious (even in smaller roles like Last of Us), he ate up the screen. Nʌki’wah brother.