Hey, this is a reminder that if you are struggeling to afford food, even if that means you are eating just not very much because you can't afford stuff, or you missing out on your fave snacks because you need to buy staples, PLEASE go to your local food banks 🧵

I'm tired of yall trying to make skinny a movement because Miley Cyrus at the golden globes looked like she was gonna be guilted into letting a small blue alien stay on earth

Realistically once I start becoming birdman in the feet my place in consciousness is no longer applicable and only the laws of my bed apply to me

Nobody has ever dropped a more fire comeback than, “The bar is so low it’s a tripping hazard in hell, and yet here you are limbo dancing with the devil.”

I’ve never seen a newspaper show the world that they don’t have a gag reflex before.

The fireworks panic was being done by police departments in major metropolitan areas to keep the populace awake so they would be too tired to continue protesting against police brutality.

I need every white woman obsessed with true crimes and serial killers to keep glazing this Luigi guy so John Browning gets more popular

SIMPLY HAVING A

Come join us in academia, you get to do homework until you die

[trying to discern which of my friends is a class traitor] so that CEO murder, huh? 👁️ 👁️