New York City Mayor Presents Knicks With Key To His Car

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It’s been five years since Alex Jones lost InfoWars to the Sandy Hook families. As the verdict came down, he asked: “Do these people actually believe they’re getting any money?” He hasn't paid them a penny. Well, The Onion is going pay them anyway. The new InfoWars begins July 2nd at 8 p.m. ET.

Watching everything be better without you from Albania:

At what point do we stop calling it “El Niño” and start it “El Hombre”

This industry is weird but sometimes you get an offer you just can’t refuse. I’m (re)joining the Apex Legends Narrative team, now as a SENIOR WRITER!!!

Respawning in 3… 2…

I learned a lot writing on Modern Warfare 4, and not just what “stay frosty” means. Now I get to be a civilian and play along side other fans. See y’all 10/23/26 💀

Hi Mr. Rosenbaum, I’m a full-time professional writer who has never used AI. 🖕🏻😎🖕🏻

I may have wrapped up my contract with Infinity Ward last week but I’m stoked to share what I got to write on this past year! Can’t wait to see the team take this thing over the finish line (There’s no army emoji but pretend I added one here) #modernwarfare4 www.youtube.com/watch?v=jLbs...

Obligatory annual repost Happy Regular Sunday in May y’all #mothersday #deadmothersday #ucbla www.instagram.com/reel/Csonlqv...

I’m at my first commercial audition in 4 years and it’s immediately clear I switched casting’s age range during that time

CONGRATS ON THE NEW LEGEND, APEX FRIENDS!! She looks so fun, y’all smashed it. I remember when she was just sentences on a page, they grow up and enter death sports so fast. #apexlegends #apexlegendsaxle youtu.be/qb00PDb7eqM?...

Airplane selfies? In this economy?

BRB need to hit an ATM

We should be learning from other countries...

This 100% has got it be it. (Also, if he did genuinely think he was a doctor in the pic, that means he has no idea what Jesus looks like in media and that should also concern his Christian voters 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of people are quick to say they *can't* give up Amazon. Okay, don't. Just don't make it your default. That thing you threw in your basket that you can get elsewhere? Get it elsewhere. If everyone still buying from Amazon reduced their spending by 20%, Bezos would be screaming bloody murder

Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

Sorry I haven’t gotten back to your email yet, I was busy worrying the entire world order was going to change forever tonight. To answer your question, yes burritos sound great.

See this is what a message from an actual leader and not a total psychopath looks like

A very good thread about journalists and AI, much of which also applies to writers of nonfiction books. We are being told, with increasing frequency and stridency, that we "just don't get" how AI can help us, by people who are manifestly not interested in helping us. Know your enemy. Hold the line.

Sometimes I dream about leaving my life to become an astronaut but then I remember I can’t ride in Lyfts without my little motion sickness bands

This fucking industry I swear to god

Gees Mamdani, buy the city a drink first

Not seeing the movie until I finish the audiobook (I’m about 2/3 in) but I second this. Honestly blown away by Ray Porter’s performance and the book is so lovely.

Meant to post earlier, but my family gave me an unbelievable Xmas gift. They made me Sparrow's Clessidra Rossa pendant. Like, FROM SCRATCH. (1/) #apexlegends #eneadavideguarino #apexlegendssparrow #clessidrarossa #apexlegendsfanart #apexlegendscommunity #respawnentertainment

they literally renamed the entire company after this

Anyone remember when Brad Pitt did that "I'm sad I'm getting divorced" photo shoot where he rolled around in the desert? Sometime over covid lockdown I photoshopped food into the photos. No I don't know why I did it. Now you have to look at it. Please enjoy my series, "Sad Brad Loves Food" (1/)

Have a super Mario day 🍄

Bet there’s a super fun vibe at GDC this year #ea

The biggest twist of Scream 7 is that I actually really liked it 😱

In all my years, I never thought I’d see an act of war from the winner of the FIFA Peace Prize.

JERSEY PRIDE RIGHT HERE

Happy Zelda day! 💚 Don’t know why Nintendo hasn’t jumped at making one of my sequel pitches but we’ll get there

Kinda weird that the party that controls the House, the Senate, and the White House claims there's rampant voter fraud.

Artemis AND a Lady and the Tramp reference?! BE STILL MY HEART

Likely-historic photo by NBC News of all the Epstein victims asked to raise their hands if they've not yet been asked to meet with the DOJ as Bondi testifies in foreground

UMM Wonder Man is perfect?! If I could’ve seen this show when I was in Meisner studio it legit might have saved me a ton of therapy. An actor who’s so in their head that sometimes they burst?? 🥹🥹🥹

LORE DROP LET’S GOOOOO youtu.be/60VKz8rGm-A?...

HAPPY HIGH GUARD LAUNCH DAY!!! Congrats Wild Light friends!

The seven Democrats who sided with Republicans to fund this murder were Reps. Henry Cuellar (Texas), Jared Golden (Maine), Marie Gluesenkamp Perez (Wash.), Laura Gillen (N.Y.), Don Davis (N.C.), Tom Suozzi (N.Y.) and Vicente Gonzalez (Texas).

ProTip: Settings: Content and Media : Autoplay videos and GIFs. You'll want to make sure that's unchecked.

Just once this decade, when I see a game studio trending, I’d like it to not be because hundreds of people are losing their jobs.

Make it viral.

I've seen people say that the officer who murdered Nicole Good should be charged with murder, and to that I add that every officer who kept medics from arriving, who barred doctors from helping should also be charged under conspiracy doctrine.

No really can we do a federal tax strike

I don’t want to brag but the second I landed back in America I got a text from Mark Kelly