It cracks me up that Street Fighter lore has 2 different versions of The Dark Side™️ and neither of them work like the original Star Wars Dark Side

Make America Goon Again

A straight whore moos? Is she a cow girl?

A primarily Labour-run district council in Notts have destroyed a swan habitat by draining a pond during nesting season. Just another reason to get rid of Labour as soon as we can.

I need a goth lady with a chainsaw who reeks of death

Do not ask me to split the g on this. I will die.

Since DK won't step up to the task, I'M going to write a New And Improved: California Über Alles (Now With 75% More Virtue Signalling!) about Gavin Newsom

Valentines tomorrow. Alone again. Definitely not going to ruin anyone else's evening, nosirree.

I should have my own comedy sketch show

Explaining consent to a British person: imagine a cup of tea.

Wine taste so bad but feel so good

A VORE post? Imagine my disappointment. I thought this was a cannibalism post.

hello random bluesky users. this is a VORE post. i am talking about eating people very literally. there is no euphemism. i have also muted this thread

"My steak is too juicy"

Elon had Epstein killed so he could harvest his soul and enslave it to power Grok.

Why the hell should I care about politics when I literally have bread and circus?

Throwing a bucket of wine at the Sultan prank GONE WRONG (Janissaries called!)

"I did not ride for three hours on the bus to be called swarthy by a pagan" is the type of thing you'd say while on holiday in Britain

Putting vodka in the sodastream when someone asks for a vodka soda

Once more, everyone who chooses not to pay the license fee is vindicated.

Good of the BBC to warn us that The Apprentice is going to be back on TV

The the single input recording interface I spent £80 doesn't even work, so I have to go with tonight's backup plan of sitting in bed being miserable.

This year is the year of the horse, so my resolution is to get strong enough to defeat the horse if necessary.

[Rimworld] Vanilla Vehicles Expanded is fun, but my autism demands that I give every vehicle my pawns a build a lore-friendly name. So far we've got the FCB (Flais Coach Builders) Egernia (a genus of skinks with very strong familial instincts)

[Rimworld] I accidentally activated a mechanoid cluster and didn't want to risk any of my pawns to deal with it, so I just kept sacrificing trade caravans until they beat the mechanoids. My pawns have a lot of cremating to do now.

New pfp. It's Pumpkin.

I propose we call him the ghost of Christmas Eve. He directly precedes all the ghosts of Christmas Proper after all.

why did Jacob Marley not get a ghost title? fourth ghost right there, he doesn't get any respect. ghost of ventures past, gets called a chunk of potato.

I think we should start addressing strangers as "voter" like in that one episode of red dwarf

masc lesbians

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

You’re last saved meme is your moral philosophy ...this is painfully accurate tho.

Rimworld combat is the best. I just got a direct hit with a mortar, and the game described the effect as "exploded horribly"

Premise 1: white men can't jump Premise 2: Mario "Jumpman" Mario can jump Conclusion: Italians aren't white

What the actual fuck man. There is something deeply wrong with you as a person. I should crush your spine for this.

I get that "rest in piss" is satisfying in its vulgarity, but I prefer saying "rest in pee"

You can! It's expensive, but you can do it.

my Metallica hot take is that the best Metallica timeline involves sending Dave to rehab, bringing Kirk in to record solos for KEA, keeping Kirk when Dave comes back like Maiden did with Yanick Gers, and Cliff not dying on the Damage Inc tour bc a 5-piece Metallica demanded a better tour bus.

I think the "high life" meme in Rimworld's ideology dlc should require the veneration of horses since their bodies automatically process food into booze internally

This might just be because I'm a contrarian, but I think Galician Spanish should have become the standard in Spain, not Castilian

I actually think AAA developers should charge £100 for a game, because then no-one would buy them and affordable indie games would finally dominate the market.

This is why French people have so many affairs. They make the sexiest cars in the world.

Small dog really wants to lick me. I really want to not be licked. How shall we ever reconcile these differences?

"$20 can buy many peanuts"

She rail on my replacement until I bus

(AI 2 sentence horror voice) I thought I was immune to the doctor blaming my illness on my weight. Little did I know, underweight is still weight.

I'm about to eat every green olive in the fridge. The black olives are safe because I find their flavour underwhelming

My Nissan hot take is that every Z car would have been better with an I4 than a V6, and Nissan made a huge misstep by sticking to the NA V6 for so long when they could have been early birds on the Turbo I4.

she fibro on my until I algia

Castle Rock usually cooks with their ales, but Elsie Mo feels like something of a letdown.