I didn't know if my hole could stretch this much, but now I'm determined to get to the base 😈👀

think cherry season is done for me, last harvest has had little grubs inside almost every cherry I've pitted. thinking,,, pit em, clean em, pour some sugar on em to pull out the juices, and then drown them in alcohol? alcohol purifies all things, yeah?

ooh, sausage probably counts as processed meat. I wasn't supposed to eat that, oopsie.

One-way transit paid. $1.50 to get home later …not looking to walk 7 miles in 93° weather 🥵 $TippyBerkman (cashapp) @/AntifaSheriff (venmo)

grandma coded nurse talking so fast I can't get a word in edgewise lol

by request— now with alt text

now I'm imaging what Enterprise would have been like if they'd written Hoshi as a disaster bisexual.

if you wanna help out: ca $RowanOak9 pp rowanoak5 v @Anarcha-Dyke throne.com/sineadthefae ko-fi.com/sineadthefae

thought "oh the bot only liked 2 random posts instead of 3 like usual" but i'd just loaded the page between likes.

oops I thought about doing it and never actually did it

beans: they go with everything this post brought to you by the can of cannellini beans I threw into the leftover ratatouille.

not now, intrusive thought. i'm too busy to pretend to hear you out.

why's my accent keep slipping into kiwi territory lately? i have aussie relatives, not kiwi. where's this coming from?

made everyone in the lab waiting room jump, these babies popped off like a firecracker.

i no longer smell like a wounded animal. oh well.

I have an impacted molar. I am in excruciating, unbearable pain. All the dentists are closed because it is Friday at 9 PM. I am so fucked up by pain and unable to focus I ask my friend Ash if she can come over and find me an emergency dentist. Best she can find is a telehealth call. I take it.

I've been saying the whole time people keep going "but he says all this leftist stuff" like, brother, anyone can say anything. it's so easy to lie. stop eating bait and take a look at the hook shoved into it.

what's with these bots that like 3 random skeets and have little but an ig link in their profile?

feelin kinda bitable on this pleasant #thighthursday 😬 #altbabes #transnsfw #egirl onlyfans.com/lunamoonhopper

i don't think it's called sleep apnea if it happens before you've actually fallen asleep, but I had sleep apnea while I was falling asleep last night and it set off so many alarm bells my heart rate jumped through the roof and I sat bolt upright to clear my throat and then I was full of adrenaline

I will continue to only ever use the following feed.

just gave myself the sloppiest orgasm i've had in months, holy shit goblin is sticky now

weird bizarre outlier trans woman who doesn't play magic or watch wrestling.

BlueSky I really need help: I need at least $350 before tomorrow since that’s when rent is due I will be selling bundles to make an unrealistic attempt to reach this amount We’re at $0/$350 Reshare and Quote to spread awareness 🙏🏼

been having major seafood cravings since surgery, is that normal? I'm going through smoked oysters, sardines, and pickled herring like nobody's business.

rimworld of magic is great until you get attacked by a war party with a paladin who calls down holy fire and absolutely erases all your undead pawns.

cutting off an artichoke and holding it's head underwater for 15 minutes to drown out the earwigs, who want me?

🚨 BOOST 🚨 Please help her out. One of the people who assaulted her was a Patriot Front Nazi. Of course the cops didn't arrest him, and now she's facing charges and will need legal funding.

I've done my shot. if I die, I die. why does autocorrect keep reinserting capital i into my dictionary? stop trying to think, you shitty piece of silicon.

alt text: some sort of owl, idk what kind, op doesn't mention and I'm not a birder, flattening itself into a loaf like a cat. it's brown with tawny speckles and a yellow beak with big round eyes.

im not sure if im "supposed to" take my E shot today, but the discharge paperwork doesn't say specifically not to, so it's shot day baby 💉

i only ever saw the first backrooms video (stickman kicks camera guy and he falls out of the facility and starts skydiving) and i understand almost none of the memes.

Reminder to please please PLEASE turn on “require alt text”. Visual impairment is way more common than you think.

alright it's been like 5 days since surgery, I think i'm okay to have little a weed, as a treat.

i love trans women exhibit 848147373

I'm taking anal training to the next level! 😵 It's important to challenge ourselves sometimes hehe 😝😈 #nsfw #realnsfw #nsfwbluesky #transnsfw #ofcreator #fanslycreator #femboy #nonbinary #trans #pride #fantasydildo #bigdildo

bi is when you have two swords, pan is when you have a dagger and a lariat.

chef who pronounces zagat like faggot he's real and im watching him on chopped

didn't keep up with my lip moisture routine during bedrest and it split again. damn, I'd been doing so well.

Can I get a tip so I can buy some weed? 🥺

it irks me when people say with their mouths "my pain is a ten" if your pain was a ten you would not be able to verbally express what level your pain was. pussy up, read the chart again, and give a real answer

After dealing with whorephobia and racism in the morning, technical issues in the afternoon and someone finding a way around using terms I don't like on live this evening... I deserve to be tipped and left tf alone My June goal has barely moved so far

dropping Eldritch knowledge such as "there's no point in putting something in a ziplock if you leave it unzipped"

I'm so overdue for a brainwashing and regreening

lmk if I get flagged for intolerance for saying fuck the group contributing to my genocide.

sincerely fuck the Catholic Church for their contributions to trans genocide but at least the tech bros are also taking hits ig

nothing like a couple days on opioids to make you appreciate a normal bowel movement.

i should take some anti nausea meds and play Alien Isolation to the end sometimes.

the bar is buried six feet deep and men still manage to trip on it.