I’m sorry but this is THE image of 2025

Welcome to Britain, a deeply unserious country

DRINK WATER FROM THE SKULLS OF YOUR ENEMIES! IF YOU HAVE CRUSHED THEIR SKULLS, USE A GLASS.

Anyway here’s Wonderwall

it's not post-Confederate exactly but if you wanna hunt Nazis, for example, may I recommend The Ratline? store.steampowered.com/app/3756940/...

Expedition 33 update with new stuff yessss

UK weather report just in:

time to debate which recent game to play for thirty minutes, and then boot up world of warcraft instead

bluesky is the world of warcraft classic of twitter [slams table]

Game Pass trying to have our eyes out again I see

Absolutely buzzing we won the World Cup 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Brought a porridge pot to work not realising it was an apple and blueberry flavoured thing and now I’m eating hot claggy air freshener for me dinner FUN

This is an absolute win for science

You do know that random middle aged blokes across the country spout this kind of inane and unsubstantiated bollocks and no one gives them the time of day, right? We could all just eyeroll Farage into irrelevance but no, let’s hear more about how “they’re eating our swans”

We’ll have to wake the green day bloke up soon

<unintelligible noises>

You better all be watching Le Crunch later

Your man couldn’t fill a lesser soul gem

STEWART: “Comedy doesn’t change the world, but it’s a bellwether— we’re the banana peel in the coal mine… authoritarians are the threat to comedy, music, art, thought… progress.” Nailed it.

Looking forward to partaking in a first team scrum at work just so I can stroll in and tell everyone “crouch, bind, set” Ahead of the curve etc

Forgot how quickly being around other people on a consistent basis can make you feel fluey *I’ll be fine I’ve just gone soft

Had a Chinese for me tea at about 5 so absolutely can’t wait to wake up drier than the Sahara needing two pints of water at 3am

Cream crackered but on the upside I’ve had two Parmos this week

Four days into my new job and I *think* I might’ve possibly found the best workplace ever 🤞

LinkedIn official now lads

Bit of a nervy Nora as big day tomorrow, keep your digits crossed for me that I don’t make a galloping tit of myself and/or cry all the way home in the car

What’s wrong babe, you’ve barely touched your limited edition Elton John marmite

One week back into the grind and I am practically extinct by Thursday

Iconic moment at the Downton Abbey premiere

Just saw some Glinner on the TL On Bluesky? In this economy?

A man on the streets of the UK is asked about the “problem of immigration” and dismantles talking points with ease.

The post-holiday inbox looms (tomorrow)

Just went to TK Max and didn’t buy anything for me, can I get an amen up in here

Back in England

Has something big happened? I’m up a hill still

Think I’ve fallen in love with Arbroath

Happy Friday innit

Going to Arbroath for a mooch today which might be a bit of a busman’s holiday but I really want to try one of the smoked fish things

Took the kids to a wildlife park on the outskirts of Dundee and it was brilliant I love Scotland me (full franks factory flooring voice enabled)

I’m in Scotland and the wifi is dross but the hills are mighty

Last night was genuinely amazing #RWC2025

What cracker is this same that deafs our ears With this abundance of superfluous breath?

The day is off to a bad start. Steve has stubbed his toe.

I would love to go back to World of Warcraft honestly, it’s my Achilles heel

Who’s with me for a campaign to stop politicians wearing hi viz jackets and hard hats when talking about the economy and instead being filmed playing Total War: Warhammer

For once I would like to exist with some form of mega dilemma or sword of Damocles hanging over me

me when I see an ad of a celebrity endorsing some AI garbage

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa<internalised howling>aaaaaaa

Someone is randomly letting off fireworks outside our house at this hour and I cannot tell you how irrationally angry this makes me

Just accidentally eroded some grey matter on a Facebook thread asking “is sunscreen more dangerous than sun exposure?” No. The answer is no. Eejits