Nick Wright has carved out a nice niche for himself within the world of Sports Shouting Slop by looking like the exact person dumb guys picture in their heads when they get yelled at online for their bad sports takes.

The NFL and NBA both have an aging Hall of Famer born in November 1988 who's been bad for a while but stayed just good enough to stick around in the league for another half-decade, and also they're both named Russell W.

It's interesting to see how reddit self-sorts into dedicated dumb guy parallel subreddits. r/NBA too highbrow? Join r/NBATalk to share AI-generated memes from accounts called KobeMuse.eth.

I'm trying a new approach to fantasy football this year whereby I draft my team, but then I *don't* let it pointlessly occupy an additional 10+ hours of my thoughts and time each week of the season. To be clear, I will not be using these hundreds of hours of time savings to better myself in any way.

Thanks to her combination of cowardice and overt lack of principles, "stand powerlessly on the sideline" was Kamala Harris's preferred approach to a number of issues. Fitting that she's landed in a position where she can do that full-time.

Real heads remember when this account didn't mess around with uplifting messages for people who are struggling and kept it all about the weekend.

I keep seeing escalations in the arms race to express the most virtuous "speed limits should be lower" opinion, so I want to plant my flag early on "cars should actually go negative speed." Step on the accelerator trying to drive 30 MPH forward? Your car should go 70 MPH in reverse.

Attaching your real name to dumb little jokes and posts expressing basic humanity toward marginalized groups is increasingly grounds for getting fired from your job and severe financial ruin vs If I use my real name, people who know me might find me and up my follower count on this app

If you're interested in heavy music, the r/metalcore subreddit is a great place for song recommendations.

Thoughts and prayers for Charlie Kirk

GHISLAINE MAXWELL: here we go, boss. a big book of letters from all of your horrible best friends JEFF EPSTEIN: oh neat! look at this one from Donald GHISLAINE: that one's fake actually

I love to take time out of my busy day as a high-profile captain of industry to write hand-written and illustrated birthday notes for my financial advisor. Poems for my butcher, painting frescoes for my dentist, just normal, not-suspicious rich guy stuff.

I am already pre-mad for when barely anything comes of this Kawhi business even though it's the Joe Smith scandal on steroids. "We wanted to strip them of some of their 1st round draft picks, but they already owed a lot of them to other teams, so we fined Steve Ballmer $15,000 instead."

All my rivals become my Fievels when I watch the An American Tale: Fievel Goes West (1991) of success

All my nemeses become my antifreeze when I top off the Honda Civic of success

All my adversaries become my dromedaries when I traverse the desert of success

All my assailants become my inhalants when I medicate the asthma of success

Caught my wife in bed with her personal trainer and was obviously furious, but then she explained that it was just a distraction from TACO Trump's failing tariff policy. I won't be distracted! 🌊🇮🇱🇺🇦

Mostly am, but I do think it can be instructive to think about public policy in terms of cumulative hours cost. For example, if a robocaller scam calls 30 million Americans for an average of 10 seconds each, that's 83 thousand hours, or 9.5 years stolen. A 10 year prison sentence fits the crime.

We always hear about how forcing cars to slow down will save lives, but time spent on joyless tasks like commuting is essentially life lost too. If every car on every freeway were slowed from 65 to 55 MPH, how much cumulative "life" would be taken from Americans? It'd be Stalin-level mass murder.

Sad about Ozzy, but one silver lining: perhaps men in their late 70s who take famously poor care of their health CAN die after all.

Kobe debates aren't as plentiful as they once were, so I'll take this opportunity to note that he is the single most overrated player in NBA history and was worse than Wade and Ginobili, among his SG peers.

My frantic, 1000-word post about the Epstein files has a lot of people asking questions already answered by my frantic, 1000-word post.

the parallels the trends in GOP policy making which is basically a free for all for 300 rich cranks. i am convinced we could topple this house of cards by throwing a handful of these people in jail for the crimes they’re very obviously committing in order to acquire this influence

Not sure the Wolves can beat these guys. They simply don't have anyone as skilled at Falling Down as SGA.

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander makes it feel bad: defector.com/shai-gilgeou...

I hope to someday be in a position to resign in protest. I can be brave by quitting? Sign me up!

We must be steadfast in our support for The Only Democracy in the Middle East* *whose elections exclusively yield bloodthirsty genocidal strongmen

When Steve Kerr empties his bench, how will we even know it?

The NBA has created a new rule that applies only to Draymond Green whereby each new violent incident is logged as a tech or a flagrant, whichever is less damaging to the Warriors in that moment.

The Warriors were -3.9 points/100 possessions with Steph Curry off the court, which would place them among the bottom-8 teams in the NBA. His hamstring injury would be a huge boon to the Wolves' chances, in a world where they aren't uniquely terrible at beating bottom-8 teams.

The first week of May features May Day, Cinco de Mayo, the Kentucky Derby, and people posting Justin Timberlake and Star Wars memes. That's too much stuff, spread it out. October the 12th be with you.

The NBA has created a new rule that applies only to Draymond Green whereby each new violent incident is logged as a tech or a flagrant, whichever is less damaging to the Warriors in that moment.

Noting that the other side is "militant" in a story about the U.S. doing terrorism

If Angie Craig wins the DFL Senate nomination, I will be leaving my ballot line blank in the general.

Over the final 3 minutes of the 4th quarter of Game 2, KAT was 3-for-3 from the floor. Each attempt came with the Knicks trailing by at least two points, and each shot came with less than 5 seconds left on the shot clock. Each shot tougher than the next Incredible:

The thing that’s very important to remember about American conservatives and any other sort of fascist is that anytime they posit some value or principle or positive outcome, they are lying. Every time they talk about stealing and enslaving and murdering and terrorizing, they are telling the truth.

One way I know the "voters swung to Trump because of Latinx" thing is completely made up is that I follow politics pretty closely, and to this day I do not know if "Latinx" rhymes with "cat lynx" or "Static-X." I have never once heard it spoken out loud.

Billionaires, corporations, and the media put their thumbs on the scale and pressed as hard as they did for THIS?

Oh, did a stocksball happen?

Pistons fans be like "I can't believe players from all 29 other teams keep starting fights with the same two guys on my team!"

Barack Obama? The NCAA Tournament prognosticator?

I've always admired that the Chapo boys stubbornly force themselves to consume every SNL and Pod Save America episode as some sort of cosmic penance. But first, our friends from Pearl Jam.

for a week or so during the election Vance was reminded by interviewers that he had once compared his running mate Donald Trump to Hitler. Vance assured us that he had changed his mind - but really seems like he changed his mind about Hitler, not Trump

Before we can fight Republicans we apparently have to destroy the Democratic party, in the same way that firefighters knock down a door that’s obstructing their way before they can fight the fire.

Today I get to cast what is on balance the most consequential vote of my life, a vote in the only vacant House district in the state of Minnesota, the outcome of which will determine whether my state has a Democratic trifecta to protect me from the fascist federal government or not. Pretty neat!

Admittedly, most of the MN high school hockey tournament kids with the fun hair are too young to vote, but if they could, I know who many of them would vote for, and for that reason I must Condemn them.

We all know the traditional proposals for what to do with a time machine, but personally I would use it to stop the day that online libs all learned the phrase "circular firing squad."

Told my wife we need to "run the marriage like a business"