I think if you put a banana peel in Matty Yglesias's path he'd slip on it and fall ass over head like they do in cartoons

This World Cup game is Mickey Mouse hoops and I love it

Do not say that your hat "fits all sizes" only for it to rest atop my bigass head like a yarmulke. Do you know how that makes me feel

More like Stayawaylor Farms. If you ask me

Very often nowadays I see some news or have some experience that reminds me of those scenes in An Inconvenient Truth about all the bad shit that will happen to us. For instance this local lake that I boated in last year

Good bit in HOTD: every character is named Aemond, Aegon, Aedon, Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, or Rhaemon. But then there's Gwayne. Fucking Gwayne

Unless I'm mistaken, the only nudity so far in HOTD S3 has been of the full-frontal male variety. Woke 2 cannot be stopped

I'm no soccer tactician but seems like the strategy of getting up one goal and letting the other team take shots for 20 mins is suboptimal

Chris Paul would've been incredible at soccer. Specifically the move where you abruptly stop so a person running behind crashes into you

If Jude Bellingham weren't famous for soccer he could easily be famous for handsomeness. Many such cases in this sport

The more experience I get as a parent the more I understand his hypervigilance

13 years! Wow

They let you completely zonk out at the pool club if you're a baby

If I get the parasite I'll be a big help societally bc I eat way too few salads and fresh fruit and thus could likely trace the source even over a long incubation period

My son can't eat berries because some fascist zoomer software engineers blindly cut the program to prevent nationwide turbo diarrhea. Just another day in this godforsaken country

If the Dems win in 2028 they should do a raffle where the winners get to take a sledgehammer or crowbar to all the garish shit Trump has done to the White House

Why does Tyler Herro look like McLovin here

Emma D'Arcy is a fucking powerhouse man. She is acting her ass off in this season

24 for Spain looks a lot like Jose Alvarado except if Alvarado were out there he'd be one of the biggest guys

Fox barely shows any crowd shots in these World Cup games because in any spare moment they're showing a celebrity, no matter how minor. One time they showed Zach LaVine in a luxury box. Literally who gives a fuck

I've decided to become one of those dads who wears a sun hat with an enormous brim. That's one thing you can expect to see from me going forward

I keep seeing ppl say that "working class" has an outdated or unworkable definition. That's not so. "Working class" refers to a man who's a little bit grubby and/or has a truck with at least 80,000 miles on it

It's wild to me that Trump 1, as corrupt as it was, allowed "his" DOJ to investigate him for years and release a report saying he committed crimes bc putting a stop to that would've looked Watergateish. Whereas Trump 2 is a neverending crime spree in broad daylight that they constantly brag about

Platner's dropout video is batty and conspiratorial and the opposite of an effort to rally his supporters behind the candidate. Why would they back the evil Dem machine that conspired against him

Power is out around us and everyone thinks that if the stoplight is broken you just cruise thru. A small effect of our society being overrun by dumbasses who don't think about other people

Belgian players doing the Trump dance and mocking Trump, Pulisic, and all of America at the same time: that's good shit

Lionel Messi, it is a privilege to share this time on earth with you

A colleague sent back redlines in which he added Mr. or Ms. before each last name and I had to be like "Yeah I ordinarily do that but one of them is named Bean and I didn't like calling him Mr. Bean"

The toddler told me to mind my business because I said it was time to sit down and eat dinner. I'm paying mortgage dollars each month so his daycare classmates can teach him this kind of sassiness

Belgium players mocking the US and Trump's meddling in the World Cup by doing the Trump dance after scoring the 4th goal against the USMNT

Seeing our dumbass in chief corruptly intervene and then our squad proceed to disgrace themselves excised the tiny area of patriotism I briefly had. It was like removing a mole

Tim Ream's ponytail does not inspire confidence

It's the American Century of Humiliation for a reason

This team looks totally different now that they have the Trump stench on them

I call him Ditch McConnell in honor of his new home in a couple days

He learned to catch this weekend

Now that this actually happened gotta be honest, it fucking sucks

There it is

New new

One thing about old people, they're gonna smile at your baby

Trump clearly has FIFA under his thumb and does nothing all day but use his power for corrupt ends. How about you call Infantino about this red card and do one good thing in your life

Really dig how the US coach dresses like a Jiffy Lube employee

Kids these days will never understand the grit and determination that was required

Finally got a big second monitor for my office and it's a productivity game-changer. I can watch sports full-screen and still write my little emails

Some of these new Gatorade flavors are an affront to god. You know what's a good flavor? Red. Why do we have to complicate everything

I was asleep when the Netherlands lost last night so just imagine if I'd posted the following at a very timely moment. Pretty funny huh

I love her

It's wack when Americans who watch soccer every four years immediately have ideas on how to fix it. With that said *unfurls scroll that hits the floor and rolls across the room*

Raising a toddler forces you to think about so many things you take for granted. He'll ask "Why" several straight times until we're down to first principles or back to the Big Bang. I was trying to explain how to pee and was at a loss for actionable advice