I'll probably win one and might win two fantasy fball championships, which is how you know the whole enterprise is bullshit

Eating Chinese hot pot with a big group will show who has leadership skills and a take-charge attitude

Went to a Xmas Eve service for the second time in my life. Thanks to Sufjan I knew all the hymns. My son ran around in his feral way. Here he is stealing a man's cane

Vince Guaraldi really overperformed his assignment to make a cartoon soundtrack

Having a beer to reward myself for maybe the least productive week in the history of lawyering

If you sell a toddler thing that requires complicated assembly and don't number the parts so it's clear what's what I am coming to your corporate headquarters with mens rea

The Weissand Effect. Let's make this go viral

I used to read a lot of FOIA stuff for work and can't tell you how often the feds did this. Like, more often than not. And there are a hundred extremely easy ways to prevent it

This is the best podcast

Bari Weiss at CBS News

"We need to call Stephen Miller and ask if he has regrets." Sounds potentially very fruitful!

My partner and I talked a fair amount about whether and how we'd incorporate Santa and his mythology with the toddler. Then one day last week he comes home from daycare and is making fake phone calls to Santa to say "I want presents." Good reminder that we are in control of almost nothing

Make that two world superpowers. Just endlessly funny to brand yourself by your fierce independence only to do state media the second you're asked

Go directly to prison bro

Outlook Wrapped said I'm in the top 0.1% for inviting ppl to please let me know if they have any questions

Weyes Blood was so right, I love movies

I'm gonna level with you. I've been eating a fuckload of cookies recently

I owe Tate Sandell my life

Jesus

The only family tradition I'm passing down. BOOMER

Watching The Holiday. Jude Law: pretty handsome guy

Wouldn't have thought it but my years of kicking terrible and stupid freestyles have come in handy as a dad. There's a lot of that over here, just to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star now, and my guy eats it up

Honestly that sounds like the closest thing to "work" Trump's maybe ever done

The period when dudes were wearing multiple polo shirts was so bleak. Glad I never partook

North Carolina is definitely the top place I've lived in terms of humongous trucks that tail you by 3 feet and will kill you if the slightest thing goes wrong in those moments

In law school I decided to be a litigator because I liked the idea that someone wins and someone loses. That's funny because it's almost never true. Every case settles bc everyone's scared of losing and usually no one wins except me, who gets $100 for sending an email

I love hearing a nearby coworker say "SPEAK TO AGENT" to a robot over and over with increasing volume and frustration. Been there buddy

Every day I lose more capacity to be shocked but this did it

Dillon Brooks is one of the most resilient ppl on earth bc all he does is get cooked and screamed at and he'll never stop wanting more

Cursed to love snow and live in a place where every third winter day is raining and 37 degrees

lmao what

The Buffalo Bills are singlehandedly keeping alive the old school gridiron vibes. These motherfuckers are always playing in a blizzard

So funny that a soccer federation made up an award and called it a "peace prize" to soothe that baby's fussiness over the fact that he'll never get the real thing

I know my brain is meager compared to our tech overlords and there's much I don't understand but how do you spend a GDP on a game where shitty avatars float around

Netflix has too much money for a company that offers Love is Blind and 300 certainly dogshit Xmas movies that they made over a weekend. Where'd they get all that money

Olivia Nuzzi reminds me of Scalia in that ppl will say "Say what you will but the prose is sharp" and I have no earthly idea what the fuck they're talking about

I looked up this lawyer and she's only been barred since May 2024. I feel like if you start your career by almost immediately making the paper of record for your rampant fraud on the court that should be it for you

Sometimes I do get a little hopeful that It could happen

Kash Patel walking into a grimy Western saloon in a toddler-size cowboy costume from Spirit Halloween

August was mesmerized by the process of cutting down our Xmas tree and spent the rest of his time pretending to saw trees with a stick

This is what it's like going from the baby boy clothes section (drab, all blue or gray and either have trucks or predator animals) to the baby girls section (every color and pattern on god's green earth)

I haven't shaved in a week, which is rare for me, and yesterday a colleague saw me in the office and said "I like this stubble thing you have going on." Today another colleague said (with respect to the stubble) "Are you okay"

Jury trial starting the Monday after Thanksgiving: I may be experiencing the least chill thing that's ever happened to someone

Learned the hard way that you can't just speak from the heart while your father-in-law says grace. "May the flame of wokeness burn without mercy" is apparently objectionable in some company

Can't spend a half-hour with my father-in-law without hearing about his contempt for vultures and how he defeated the ones who were nesting in his tree

Tried watching this show but I couldn't get past the weird de-aging filter on all the actors. Ricky Martin legit looked 25 years old. Don't do that shit please

Whenever I'm sick and my voice gets deeper and growlier it's like, I need to make some power moves in the next 48 hours

I hope we one day learn what happened with MTG that made her stop being quite such a sadistic hyena, mellowed her out and gave her clarity of purpose. My money is on she started microdosing

Not to be a wet blanket but there's only one thing Trump could do that would amuse me