I’m not sure what game Dock’s is inventing but it has my interest.

Potatoes are unpleasant but they can at least be improved upon by frying them or slathering them in some form of meat sauce. The same cannot be said for sweet potatoes which are unpleasant no matter what is done to them.

Pizza is pie.

Buckaroo Bonzai Against The World Crime League

Pharma: These are the nighttime cold pills. You take them once before going to bed. Me: Makes sense. Pharma: These are the daytime cold pills. You take them a few times during the day. Me: Got it. Pharma: We give you the same amount of each in a box. Me: Wait…

USMNT has to do with soccer/football and has nothing to do with mutants, ninjas, or turtles.

Flu vaccine clinics at work are good. Clinics where you can check off boxes to get additional shots at the same time; extra good. Being sleepy from vaccines on work time instead of free time; double plus good.

Will Bored Ape NFTs increase in value due to plague monkey release, or will they further devalue out of fear of monkey herpes?

Be Not Afraid

Me: Ahh, a restful day where I don’t have to bike to work. Exercise App: Hope you like squats, bitch.

Being knocked unconscious and violated with probes may be the most I have ever done to skip out on a day of work.

Ah, and the first email about a student being hit by a car comes through. Awesome.

I want today to end but I don’t want tomorrow to begin and I can’t reconcile these thoughts

Oh dear, voir dire

They Are Giants

Ladies and gentlemen, an announcement…

those damned outdoor pigs can't keep getting away with this

The idea of strip Hot Ones popped into my head- lose a piece of clothing whenever you need a drink. Then I realized the only person I’d want to play with is my wife which would result in her fully clothed while I’m naked and crying. Why go through the extra steps if the result is a normal Saturday?

Doocy over here trying to make the left sound awesome

@heldermira.bsky.social - just spent the last 4 minutes playing John Williams’ Superman theme as my five year old held a Superman figure in front of a fan to simulate flying. Thought you’d approve.

Much better than my “Little Unseasoned Dry Chicken Breast” moniker

“Except my soul.”

Other candidates should make a show of walking, biking, or taking the subway today.

This, right here, is the problem. We need men in positions of power who will not tolerate the sexual harassment & abuse of women. Hard stop. Not men who discount the treatment of women because it doesn’t suit them politically.

Yes, most things are horrible right now, but my five year old enthusiastically watching @levarburton.bsky.social in Reading Rainbow is a small bit of comfort

Whereas Clinton saw a fellow sex pest, Lamont likely sees someone he liked hiding behind.

A federal officer cannot be “doxxed.” The public has a right to know who is operating in our government, especially if they have the power to imprison someone.

I don’t know what hellish advertising algorithm I’ve found myself on, but I want off.

A bird ID application? Now I won’t be the dumbass blocking the walking trail as I furiously describe a duck to a search engine. Instead I will be the dumbass blocking the trail as I furiously describe a duck to a specific program!

I am watching the documentary about Alex Jones and I actually think all the Sandy Hook parents should be able to kick him in the dick and balls constantly for the rest of his life.

“The power of an idea”

My desire to not stand during the national anthem is conflicted when it’s a gay chorus doing the singing

This is not radical. This is bare minimum.

I love that I live in an era where celebrating my kid’s birthday is filling me with guilt.

@jahanahayes.bsky.social what’s up with this?

Then they’ll need to start narrowing their definition of whiteness or sort by religion. Their system depends on the lower classes having someone to look down on.

If & when what happens in LA comes to NY, Adams or Cuomo almost certainly will not stand up to Trump. (Hell, they’d roll out the red carpet.) Hochul miiiiiight, maybe. That’s how we should be thinking about every state & local election - will this person have the courage to stand up for us?

As Trump demands that people in masks at protests be arrested, just a reminder that Mayor Karen Bass, nominally a Democrat, floated a mask ban at protests as recently as last year. There’s really no anti-authoritarian party. www.theguardian.com/us-news/arti...

Call me the New Town Mayor the way I make his Dick Sweatman

Them: Do you have reliable transportation? Me, out loud: Yes. Me, unsaid: My bicycle and the bus are very reliable.

Birds succeeding where I have so often failed…

These center-right groups (WelcomePAC, ThirdWay, etc) start off with a reasonable premises like, “Let’s talk to people about economic issues that they seem to care most about instead of cultural issues” then immediately follow it up with dissertations on how to best harm vulnerable groups.

Goddamn do I wish there were game writing classes when I was in college. Comedy, film, tv, children’s media - all grand fun. I also can’t fathom paying cash just to have a crappy chatbot do the fun part for me…

While other kids discovered drugs I was freebasing maps with no understanding of plate tectonics

RT if you STILL BELIEVE!