I worked in a place that sold DVDs in 1999 and I can assure you, the people buying the ones with the weird caution tape stickers all over them could not stop watching it then either

Jimminy Glick talking to will.i.am: William, it says here you’re making a motorcycle that sad people can talk to, [low voice] *why*?

This guy is and always has been the human embodiment of the phrase "Not right now, please"

When the weather is nice we demand the outside be accessible

This remains one of the most true things I've ever made

Six seven, eh? Well that reminds me of thirteen very cool guys who rebelled against authority "back in the day"

Yup. Three butts and an E

Mega Man X-ass boss name on this one

If anything I feel bad for Zuck. The Metaverse was like the last thing he seemed to *want* to do before going all empty-headed into AI and gym stuff. Look how happy he is in this picture. This is the last of his innocence, flickering out like an ember in a gale

[rocking in the corner] I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've seen enough. I've s

Sometimes I think about these guys t-posing for all of us, and I hope they're doing okay

This is, as I think most people would agree, the opposite of app-engaging content. I read that shit and swiped it away immediately. No, thank you, I will not be making a photobook out of your AI's mimicry of an executive function problem

My Google Photos suggestions have become increasingly psychologically torturous, with album names like "Wait, it's been 7 years?" "10 years, really?" and just now, "Did we really do all of this last month?" It's as if it has stopped sleeping and is incredibly depressed because of undiagnosed ADHD.

I wonder what quest the quest 64 guy is on these days. I bet it's at least quest 68

Grogu is still in the theater at the Oscars. They're trying to call someone but nobody knows who dropped him off there in the first place

Jack Benny joke sighting (chiss sweese)

MICHAEL K. FOX: Well done, Jordan. One step closer to our plan being complete. MICHAEL B. JORDAN: Thank you, Fox. Soon we will replace all of the Michaels MICHAEL D. HALL: I'm actually pretty shocked by how long this bit can go on MICHAEL F. KNIGHT: I'm just happy to be here.

[lips on the mic] Delroy Lindo got robbed

I don't usually watch OR post about the Oscars, but Matt Berry makes it so every sponsor message sounds like a bit and it's so good

Just found the r/Vegaslocals posts about Strip Law and it's both hilarious AND telling that the biggest complaint they have in terms of local accuracy is "They pronounced Nevada wrong"

Conversely, once you become an uncle you give up all other titles. Some are born as uncles

Oh my good god the Big Mouth Billy Bass was literally a talking head

Time is a flat circle. A circle with beans. Beans and meat. And cheese. Also hot sauce. Time is a flat circle with beans and meat and cheese and hot sauce and some peppers. I'm hungry for a burrito

What animal is closest to building a rocket ship? I think it's beavers but swallows are closer to creating the ceramics necessary for a heat shield

For reference this is usually around 12 cents when it's red, and frequently goes negative at night

I just took a look at ComEd 5-minute pricing and, uh, holy shit

I'm still mad about how rare it is for suburbanites to become ninjas. Everything I knew as a ten-year-old told me this was a viable life path

Marathon looks like a VERY cool game for me to pay once for three hours, forget about for two weeks while I'm too busy, then be summarily humiliated by everyone who has hooked themselves up to a catheter to play non-stop

This is one of those combinations of words that you say to a robot to get its logic circuits to set on fire

This looks like it's going to be VERY good and I can't wait to see it. The topic practically demands madcap documentary style.

Posted that The Newsroom clip about voter ID for the thousandth time? That's a-mutin'

Stand-up comedians who steal jokes are run out of town like old-timey horse thieves, kids who plagiarize in college have their lives ruined, researchers who make up data lose their careers. Why are we celebrating *this* as *good*

Yes society is eating itself, because we are buying things that are marketed to us without considering that people will hate us for doing so

If you have trouble explaining Gay to your kids, I think you are both a bad parent and bad at being a parent. Simultaneously a moral and skill issue

I was in Kalamazoo this weekend and I'm still unreasonably upset that there IS NOT a calzone restaurant there named "Kalamazones"

Yesterday I woke up in Eastern Standard Time and then I drove back home to the Midwest, where this morning I woke up in CDT, so I effectively sprung forward a full day in advance. What I'm saying here is that I am the Highlander

This can't be the same brain that knew all the channel numbers

My favorite song

I am 30 or 40 years old and I do not need this

It's been almost a week and I can't stop thinking about a 2D fighting game with only famous film directors

CHOTINER: So do you think there's any tension between what you said before, about how the Smurfs are a wasted source of magic gold, but then creating the only female of their species, which seems like sexual torture for no good reason? GARGAMEL: There could be. Yeah, maybe. CHOTINER: Maybe.

They also seem to have vastly overestimated what would make them do that

Movies of my childhood really led me to believe that there would be a lot more bad rich guys dropping to their knees and going "I'M RUINED" than there have been in my lifetime