You can tell a lot about someone based on how they respond to a crying baby or a toddler tantrum.

Nobody mentioning the boos?

How is what Paredes did after the final whistle not an actual criminal offence?

Oh thank FUCK for that.

"SIR! SIR! HE HAD HIS HAND OVER HIS MOUTH! SIR!" #WorldCup

Lionel Messi is a weasely little shit

If Argentina win from THIS the rules need changing.

Oh, Infantino FINALLY looks like he’s enjoying a football match now he’s with his ‘peace prize’ mate.

This is a trip. You’ll feel as if something good is kicking in round about the time Andy Brown starts talking about his piano teacher’s ‘missing’ thumb.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 44 Duffy - Mercy (UK 2008) I think I took this for granted 18 years ago. What a stonker of a record. Especially on that lovely 7-inch single.

Would be hilarious is the actual final is boring. #WorldCup

‘Hydration break’.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 43 Kings Have Long Arms (feat. Candie Payne) (UK 2008) Super sweet music-box pop featuring ‘Liverpool’s Duffy’. I always like songs that feel like they’ve been wound up on springs and left to run. The Badly Drawn Boy trick. And yes, I am at the ‘indulge me’ bit of my list.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 42 Andy Lewis & Paul Weller - Are You Trying To Be Lonely (UK 2007) Top mod action. If I could give extra points for not making it ‘tryin’ I would.

apparently it’s 20 years to the day since me and a bunch of pals from brighton released an album that changed our lives (and maybe a few other people’s too). so, for old times sake, let’s all pull some shapes youtu.be/HbnVNZe2D_0

An NK fail, by the way. But I think I’m in the clear by now.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 42 Andy Lewis & Paul Weller - Are You Trying To Be Lonely (UK 2007) Top mod action. If I could give extra points for not making it ‘tryin’ I would.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 41 Sweet Female Attitude - Flowers (UK 2000) BONUS 11 pts Once had a conversation with an Italian woman who was telling me ‘there is no such thing as English culture’. People can be weird.

Oooh, got a quiz idea. Homer or Hitchiker’s?

Harry Kane: ‘once we went 1-0 up we just tried to hold on, which is not enough at this level.’ Ooooh.

Hydration break.

Living in Spain really makes you chil the fuck out about this kind of thing. Startled the first time I was asked if I wanted ice with my red wine. Less so now. ‘Chilled glass?’ Bring it on.

Ffs. FIVE seconds in and he’s done an Oasis line already. This is going to be tedious.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 40 Estelle - American Boy (ft. Kanye West) (UK/US 2008) I come here not to bury K, but to praise him. The whole ‘UK, you K’ ‘bloke/bespoke’ shtick is genuinely clever. And funny. Come back to us K.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 39 LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge (US 2002) Seems rude not to give points to the closest thing this community will get to a national anthem.

Ok, I don’t know what the coverage has been like outside of Spain and England, but why are the ITV team talking as if this is some kind of shock upset? #WorldCup

Hydration break

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 38 BONUS 11 Amerie - 1 Thing (US 2005) The record that made me rethink my pivot to post-rock. Gloriously wrong. youtu.be/bbqVg_23otg?...

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 37 BONUS 11 Lady Gaga - Bad Romance (US 2009) The verses are dark and the chorus is gloriously light. So it’s perfect. It’s like Vince Clarke has burst on stage at a Depeche Mode gig… ‘IM BACK!!!’

GABRIEL CLARKE: Tuchel called you a bunch of useless pricks. He said you should all retire. He said the king should abdicate in shame. He said England should disband itself as a nation. He said JUDE BELLINGHAM: yeah, it was a tough shift

Thomas Tuchel is fucking brilliant.

‘It’s finished’ has it? Well I hope Norway don’t look back in anger.

‘All the roads that lead you…. WHAT THE FUCK… BLAH’. Stop it.

Don’t say things like this. Ever.

Morgan Rogers has the added advantage of sounding like he should be playing Hammond in a band on Acid Jazz. #WorldCup

Party central around Infantino’s seat again, I see. #WorldCup

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 36. BONUS 11. Rihanna ft. Jay-Z - Umbrella (Barbados/US 2007) Up there with Help! in taking one word and changing the way we hear it forever. And in the case of Umbrella, literally changing how we hear it.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 35. Belle and Sebastian - Funny Little Frog (UK 2006) The highlight of their shift from a C86 notion of ‘perfect pop’ to actual proper Pop. But that Northern Soul vibe, the Madison dancing, the self-referential lyrics betray their roots in a good way.

North to Galicia for the week. Highly recommended. Great beaches, great food and great weather.

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 34. Amy Winehouse - Back To Black (UK 2006) On paper it’s very boring. But everything about it - the celestial backing vocals, the bells, the guitar line, the subtle lift from the kind-of-verse to kind-of-chorus, the desperately sad meltdown - is thrilling. youtu.be/TJAfLE39ZZ8

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 33. Girls Aloud - Biology (UK 2005) Frankly ludicrous that this masterpiece is only getting the 10 from me. But honestly, there’s no messing around between now and day 50. Strictly bangers.

Ah right, cos ‘0’ is a universally recognised symbol for having scored something.

He should follow Farage around with £5m in a suitcase and attempt to donate it to him

Hah! Very white Colombia fan in the crowd proving not everyone has Latino rhythm.

Infantino watching another #WorldCup game surrounded by his mates, laughing, chatting…

#TheN0ughtie5 Day 32. Aaliyah - Try Again (US 2000) Skittery and sweet. Sleek and weirdly shy. Seems a blueprint for so much that followed.

Nah, Farage is not coming back (as strong) from this. The whining is going to play really badly with his base. People don’t like it.

Drop drop drop drop the deal.

Ronaldo crying in 5, 4, 3…