Oops, hadn't realised I was 2 weeks behind with the Pottery

Doing a home workout with my attention span. 1. Prepare: get equipment, water, kit, list of exercises. 2. Get distracted by something on the way. 3. Wonder why you're wearing one trainer, jeans and a sports vest. Realise you were changing. 4. Look up first exercise, find you forgot how to do it.

Me when I walk into town: This is great, I should go outside more, maybe I'll go for a bike ride, or rejoin that gym, or do a daily trip in to get fresh bread. Me the moment I get home: Never leaving the house again.

It’s so weird that not so long ago, like, less than 20 years, the progressive feminist position was gender de-segregation in sport and other male dominated spaces. Then the terfs came along and convinced the mainstream that the most progressive feminist position is that women are weak and feeble.

Oh now I get it. Dubai is Golgafrinchan Ark B.

Council: "Your current bin collection calendar remains valid until 27 March 2026. We will publish new calendars from 30 March 2026." So for the days in between we're using guesswork?

I am entirely here for dramatic camp sci-fi.

🚨 It looks like the UK government is gearing up to upend copyright law in favour of AI companies, legalising the theft of their work. This is despite creatives' huge protests, and despite previous proposals being roundly rejected by the public. Please spread the word. 🧵 1/4

First day of the year where I've been able to dry laundry outdoors!

Phew. Looks like Be Funny Or Die is going to be back as an ebook *this month*, courtesy of my lovely new publisher… (Revised edition in paperback to follow soon-ish…) But we rise from the ashes like a fart joke phoenix. AT LAST!

I hope as Tommy Robinson flees Dubai he settles in the first safe country he arrives in

Ah good, Instagram is stuck on "1 unread message" and that's not at all annoying. (No it's not a picture I haven't opened, and weirdly it's web only - the app version is ok)

Theme park clickbait Instagram is hilarious. "WOULD YOU RIDE THIS UNIQUE EXTREME COASTER" and it's a standard fucking SLC.

Since changing email providers, I'm now able to see the spam that's filtered out, and it's hilariously bad.

If you look at the current US administration, you can see why they'd assume bombing a school full of underage girls is likely to hit some powerful men

past decade pretty much

For the sake of my currently *extremely* fragile MH, I've had to mute pretty much everything.

Yay, the inevitable post-being-sociable mood crash.

Special thanks to the signaller who’s just dumped a stopping train in front of the express train I’m currently on, so we’re going to crawl home

Guess which fucking idiot forgot that the tray he was pulling out of the oven was full of hot fat, so tilted it and threw it all over the hot oven

I have achieved the impossible: got on a train, put a bag in the overhead rack, and when we arrived at my station, actually remembered about it.

Grindr guy: “I’m after light fun” Me: “Are we talking bulbs or flames?” Grindr guy: *block*

In a moment of hubris, while noting that every time I book a theatre show I end up on-call for work, I asserted that it was fine as we only ever get false alarms. So at 1am I was unceremoniously woken by a phone call to say something was broken 🙄

That Gorton and Denton bye-election result in summary

'Smoke me a Kipper, I'll be back for breakfast' - RIP Rob Grant

Finally got to see Titanique tonight. Absolutely hilarious, loved it.

Oh NO! It’s tricky to overstate how much Red Dwarf meant to me as a kid. Loved his books, too. Very sad news. www.ganymede.tv/2026/02/rob-...

Very sad news about Rob Grant, who, along with Doug Naylor created the long running comedy series Red Dwarf. He passed away on Wednesday, Rob was a very funny man with a talent for stinging reposts.

"GoogleUpdater added items that can run in the background." Yes, I noticed, because this is the 29th time this notification has popped up today.

The lamp-post outside my house has vanished, so I've sent my cat out with a poster stuck to her asking if anyone's seen it.

Kansas has, overnight, invalidated the drivers’ licenses of trans people, a pointless cruelty that upends their lives If Brits think “it won’t happen here” think again! Groups in the U.K. who want the same thing are routinely invited to consult with Labour and normalised in our press!

How is it so hard for a computer to stay asleep when you tell it to? I told my computer to sleep. It did. I left the room. 30 seconds later I came back in and it was awake. So I told it to sleep again. Left the room, again it woke itself up. All the settings that allow it to wake are off.

OK so the other thing that annoys me about Qobuz is that when it's finished the album I told it to play, rather than playing the next thing in the discography, it starts on something else entirely.

Giving Waterfox a go.

Some people listen to white noise videos to relax in bed. Some catch up with their favourite TV shows. I watched a 37 minute video about troubleshooting a faulty log flume.

No YOU bought a meal deal in Morrisons because one of the dessert options was treacle tart…

For anyone wondering, cancelling your Google Workspace subscription disables the account, rather than downgrading to the free version. (Luckily I was expecting this, so everything was backed up)

I can always tell I have theatre tickets booked, because I'll get the notification that I'm on call for work that week.

If you ever want a user experience that makes you want to run amok in someone's office with a large mallet until you find the person responsible, try changing from one 2FA app to another on LinkedIn.

Now live interviewing Weaver from Weaver's Week at ukgameshows.com! twitch.tv/quizzydan

a thread about how you can help make brilliant art because, yes, scripted audio comedy is art btw it’s in the contracts that we can’t use ai to make this

Had to take my wellies to rowing this morning as the lake is in flood.

Thought I’d give a dating app a go again. Installed Hinge as I’d got a “paused” profile set up from my last attempt a year or so ago. Didn’t even get as far as unpausing i Every time I went to update the profile some shit “get AI feedback” bubble followed me. Couldn’t turn it off. Deleted the app.

The one I remember in about year 10 or so was The Matrix. I mostly remember it because I was very very bored.

It's not us hating you, it's every geopolitically friendly country having multiple news stories about your government's secret police snatching our countrymen who are over there for valid reasons & throwing them in concentration camps & we don't want to risk that for a holiday.

Oh great, two of my aunts who've been indoctrinated into the realms of TERFdom are now sharing AI fake videos on the family WhatsApp.

You're using HOW MUCH storage space for something I neither use nor want?

If it could stop raining for an hour or so, I need to go get my hair cut...