Ah, a sore throat. That's not going to be at all annoying...

Email client: "You are offline" Me: "Would you care to go... er... online?"

What the actual…?!

Instagram feed: Advert for diet crap. Post from food blogger with the most delicious looking cake ever.

We need to start calling Reform’s calls for us to return to Imperial measurements what it is: a foot fetish

I give up. I disabled all the text assist features on my iPhone including autocorrect and predictive text, yet it still insists in going back and changing words I’ve already typed. 🤬🤬🤬

I own a puppet that was featured on Radio 4.

What is it with teenage girls and being unable to sit on a train seat forwards? Turn around and take your fucking feet off the seat.

The AC on this train is really cold, and it’s delightful

Right, it's 28 degrees in my bedroom. I've been advised to put a frozen bottle of water in front of the fan for added cooling, so let's see if it works.

Just cooked my dinner, and considering getting into the oven as I think it's cooler than outside.

...which ones? It'd be kind of useful to have any sort of information about the issue.

Taken advantage of the hot weather to wash my duvet and pillows - not that I need the duvet at all right now.

Could there be a better example of "the trans debate" than 98% of women supporting trans people and then one single lone person voting against them and getting their way regardless. It's all such a fucking sham

I wonder if I can sleep in my study. My bedroom is still 27 degrees, and because of the stupid scaffolding, I can't open the windows wide enough to put the AC thing in there.

Left a thermometer in full sun earlier and it was reading over 45 degrees just 15 minutes later.

My brain's having one of those "what did I come in here for?" days, so I currently have 3 different glasses of water on the go.

You just know that somewhere, in a tent in Berkshire, half a dozen contestants are trying desperately to build a tempered chocolate reconstruction of the Eiffel Tower while everything melts.

FYI: if you're playing a programme on BBC iPlayer in a web browser you can still turn subtitles on and off by pressing 888.

The joy of getting a message that something you were planning has been cancelled by the other person, so you can have a lie-in.

Just had my 3rd shower of the day, after 90 minutes of tidying the garden I was just a puddle of sweat.

I'd be enjoying the weather a lot more if my garden wasn't still full of scaffolding and debris from the roofs of the houses either side.

The one thing I miss after switching away from Google Calendar is the way it used to parse times out of event titles. So if I put in "7pm Spin class" it would give me an event called "Spin class" set for 19:00. Habit means my new calendar is full of "7pm Spin class" appointments set for 9am.

This. God, this. It is such a manufactured panic and it started the moment they lost the fight over gay marriage. Support trans rights because it’s the right thing to do and also because this is all just a fascist push

If you want to know how my morning is going, I've just dropped a tissue in my tea.

Fraudsters have moved to impersonating me on Discord pretending to offer voice work. Absolutely not me. I hate that people are being catfished, especially using my name. Be on the look out. It ain’t me.

Fuck everyone who made this happen, including the "fairness" or "safety" or "just asking questions" crowd. You did this too. You gulls. You marks. You suckers. You tools. You stooges. You dupes. You saps. You chumps. You bagholders for the fash.

It used to be that when I got on an LNR train, the WiFi usually worked. These days it's incredibly rare.

Gate agent: "We will begin with passengers with Priority Boarding." 75% of the passengers stand up and join a massive queue.

The time to realise you didn't bring sunglasses (because you packed during a gloomy evening) is not while on the way to the airport. Hello from me on the train to the airport.

Fucking £7.15 for a packet of Strepsils in Tesco Express? Bloody hell.

“This is the train to London Euston. We will be calling at London Euston. The next station is London Euston.” Yep, got it, thanks, auto announcer.

Avanti's Delay Repay emails are very confusing. "You applied for Delay Repay. We've checked your claim and we agree that you were delayed and will be giving you the amount you claimed." OK, great. "If you want to appeal..." Why would I appeal if you're giving me what I'm entitled to?

And I have Heathers tickets.

Me: "We're having our first ever in-person full team meeting on Monday, I should prepare some fun activity. I should search for some inspiration..." Google: "How about cliff jumping?"

Having one of those days where my head feels like it's been stuffed with play-dough.

People will be like ‘Bluesky is all academics & historians’ & I’ll be like, ‘You mean the people who enthusiastically tell me the coolest shit I ever heard?????’

I am on a quite delayed train, which means I will miss my connection and thus be very delayed getting home. I have been up since 4.45am so this is not amusing me.

Stop! It is necessary for you to see graphic designer extraordinaire Margaret Calvert’s 90th birthday cake. Perfection.

Me, all the time. I don’t regret it, they’re usually really good.

Minor thing that drives me nuts: Icomera, who seem to do most train companies’ onboard WiFi, use a standard text input on their captive login screen instead of an email one, making it unnecessarily annoying to use on a phone.

We lost Douglas Adams 25 years ago today. This has made a lot of people very sad and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

Went to get my hair cut. Barber: "How old are you?" Me: "43" Barber: "No way, I'd have said 35-36! How old do you think I look?" Me, trying to guess charitably: "29?" Barber, slightly deflated: "I'm 21..."

Once again, I am begging any of the TV catch-up/streaming services to introduce a "no, I don't have kids, so stop asking me if I want to set up parental lock, and stop fucking warning me if there's bloody swearing."

My neighbours must be very concerned about the number of times I exasperatedly yell "fuck me in the face" when my computer does something annoying.

Doing a simple job like cleaning the bathroom takes 3 times as long as it should when you're me, because I get distracted and go do something else, forget entirely that I was doing it, until I come back upstairs and find the light on and rubber gloves in the sink.

@angelabarnes.bsky.social absolutely brilliant show in Milton Keynes tonight, that was so much fun!

Get out of my head

Had one of those "is this just something I do, or does everyone?" moments a second ago. Got some sausages out of the freezer. They'd frozen together so I couldn't separate them. So (still in their freezer bag) I threw them on the floor as forcefully as possibile to split them apart.

Sometimes a “problem“ is solved by going what the fuck are you on about thats not a problem whats wrong with you in fact if theres a problem its you