I had my wig and Bible ready last night. Ugh.

That’s a big word for Elmo. 😖🫠😭

Oh they are BROKE

These folks really believe the rapture is tomorrow. Everybody who owns a trumpet should get together and do the funniest thing ever and just all blow their shit at the exact same time.

She’s a street rat

I was in Mexico for 4 nights so of course I picked up tequila from duty free. TSA told me it didn’t pass their screening so I could either surrender it or check it with Delta. But, if you don’t give me my gotdamn bottles back and stop playing.

My mama hasn’t stopped mothering all vacation: “You got water shoes?” “You wearing a long dress to the beach?” “You should’ve gotten up earlier to get breakfast.” Girl, you finna go home!

If I have to download another app to use your service, I don’t want it

I know black men are often pointed to as the weakest links in our community and I don’t disagree, but I would like to expand that to regular churchgoing black folk as well.

Before I play it in full, will I enjoy this Cardi album? I’m not a Winter Sprinter fan so the first song didn’t catch my attention

Sounds like white people still aren’t mad enough yet 🤷🏿‍♀️

I took a shot of tequila and somehow it shot right out of my nose. Burned like hell but my sinuses are clear and I feel like the alcohol still kicked in? A win is a win I guess

When it comes to travel and experiencing the local culture, Cuba spoiled me so bad. I don’t know if I’d ever be able to do that again without living somewhere else.

Listen folks Black, White or other it’s time to move in silence 🤫 and that means offline. They are coming after WM like Jimmy what do you think they will do to the rest of you who can’t pay the ransom? The group chat 💬 ain’t even safe time to get face to face give you’re serious.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 “GET EM UP OUTTA THERE!!!”

I don’t know when I became the kind of woman who buys clothes for her husband when I’m shopping for myself.

Glo funny as hell. This why you don’t play with people from Memphis

“BURNING BLUUUUEEE” lookin ass bih

BRIANNA (YOUNG THUG + MARIAH THE SCIENTIST DISS) - Glorilla Via Kurrco

I love a savory breakfast and I’ve been seeing the girls make different combos with lots of veggies and smoked salmon or a tinned fish. Since, I’m allergic to things with fins and scales, I subbed it for speck. Boy, let me tell you…

The absence of mourning is not equal to the presence of celebration, and it’s strange how many people have conflated the two over the last day.

I am genuinely confused by all this pageantry. He was not an elected official. I cannot think of another time a regular citizen being killed garnered this response. It’s perverse.

People of the diaspora... a gentle reminder ... this is not for you. continue to thrive

I remember someone asking our vocal stims a few weeks ago and i said the “Ah ha!” from ‘Coming to America’, but it’s also “FUCKYOUMOTHAFUCKAYOUTHINKYOUSLICKCOMINGOVERHERETOASKMEFORSOMEMONEY ASK THAT BITCH FA SOME MONEY”

Welp. These violent delights have violent ends.

MAGA 3 days ago: Chicago is about to find out the meaning of WAR MAGA today: the left needs to stop condoning violence

Was he also ....soaking wet?

It's not controversial, it's true. Political violence is bad and does beget more political violence. For example, less than 90 days ago a deranged Trump supporter dressed like a cop and attempted to assassinate multiple elected Democrats and their spouses in Minnesota, killing two.

I made the steak chimichurri dense bean salad the girls are making on the clock app. We’re gonna be skywriting in the Gary-Johnson household but it’s so good!

So, we watched the re-make of ‘The Piano Lesson’ and… no. They should’ve left that to the cast of ‘Roc’ and Alfre Woodard.

The number for those who need screen readers (855)435-7693

I’m cackling for so many reasons

If someone ever spits on me, just have my bail money ready.

Who give a crisp cold fuck what Young Thug likes? Put his ass back in jail. IMMEDIATELY.

My car would turn on but wouldn’t crank. I thought it was my starter, but I only need a new battery.

I’m so fucking tired

I prefer chargrilled oysters to raw, but I still try to follow the no months without ‘r’ rule juuust in case.

Youre not suppose to eat raw oysters during the summer months. Its spawning season which impacts quality & high risk of bacteria. ONLY MONTHS WITH R FOR RAW!

I can’t speak for their entire line, but the Design Essentials’ curl enhancing mousse is that girl. I won’t ever try another.

The crazy thing about being a PhD candidate is that you truly forget how many wonderful things you’ve written. I would have 3 papers to write at the end of each semester of coursework and would never look at them again.

Laughed at this for about 5 minutes 😂😂😂😂

🫡

I’m always confused when y’all bring this up particularly because spaghetti is the most basic of the noodles and pasta dishes. Who the hell cares what you eat with it?

Black people can not do a thing while acknowledging that there are plenty of black folks who do that very thing.

When I was on birth control, my period showed up at the same time, same day every month. Now, it gets here every month but it might be 5-6 weeks instead of 4. That’s fun. 😐

The “Ah Ha!” from Coming to America gets plenty of use in my home