As somebody who is deeply passionate about community, I must say this: Black people stop getting on them water slides if you gon flip out too bad to find your feet and STANNUP!

So, I keep seeing videos of ww “making” their own laundry “detergent” and with summer being around the corner and them not having a reputation for properly showering this feels like a conspiracy. Are they not funky enough already??? Omg

I sent my husband an IG reel and heard him cackling across the house. See that’s why he my nigga fr

So apparently my mom had a bunch of wine and edibles with her sister, passed out, and is now in the ER. She’s fine. She’s in the ER for getting too high. In her 70s. 🙄

My little sister is doing a study abroad program for her MBA and will be in SE Asia for 2 weeks. Why am I nervous like I hadn’t been all around the world at her age??

Nobody: My feral ass husband when I’ve just finished cycling:

Chile, I don’t know what the drama has been on here lately, but I hope y’all are doing well. Y’all good?

Morning. Send help.

talking crazy to a preteen when you only got one good summer left in the tank is OVERLY insane.

So… I saw the clip of Cheyenne Bryant attempting to explain why people couldn’t find her dissertation. I wasn’t skeptical of her having a doctorate before, but yeah… that didn’t make any sense.

My mama put me in classes from about age 7 to 9. They had our little butts jumping into 8 ft and 14 ft pools.

I have an out of pocket question…

I sent my auntie/godmom two new books for Mother’s Day and you would’ve thought I handed her a blank check. “This is why you’re my favorite! Don’t tell nobody.” Girl 😭

No, but my grandparents also taught us to address whoever you were talking to. You didn’t just say “No”. It was “No, grandma/papa/etc”. I didn’t use sir/ma’am until moving south for college.

It’s just… friends good wine smut books “ look at my nails” praying for each other holding space getting degrees mutual aid “Does it have pockets” Trying failing trying again And the satisfyer 2

The combo of adding cardio back in my routine and having a green smoothie in the morning has me going to the bathroom. So sorry to everyone who uses the bathroom on my floor. They need an extra strength Poo-Pourri

Shaq’s feet is the most disgusting thing I’ve seen since Daniel Caesar.

The miniest meat I saw up close and personal had me immediately playing demure when I wanted nothing more than to be flipped on my head… because how imma make THAT enough?!

It goes “womp womp waaaahhh” instead

Now why did I think I could cycle before bed and be okay? Now I’m sweaty and blowing up the bathroom because cardio and I need a shower

YES. MORE!

FINALLY

I was expecting the theme to be interpreted literally. Where are the Renaissance paintings on the garments?! Why isn’t there more texture, geometric details, and COLOR?

THIS IS WHAT I WANNA SEE Everybody just looks “cute”

In my nail tech’s chair judging Met looks and so far I’m not impressed

I ain’t even gon hold yall… I can’t tell you who plays in the NBA anymore

I gotta say… my favorite niche videos on Tik Tok have to be when millennial women are inheriting a designer wardrobe from their aunts/mamas/grandmas or any mature woman who just adores them. UGH! The pieces!

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 PBS catchin strays

I just know he smells like cheese.

I’ve been side-eyeing my beige ass husband. He was quick to point out that he is not a biracial

Man, working in higher education in a post-AI world is so depressing.

I don’t know what it is about a Boomer that makes them decide to call me to ask how to do something online instead of googling it themselves…

Introduced my stepbaby to’ The Bernie Mac Show’ this weekend I’m not the bonus mama, I’m the mama who bonuses (idk)

Why has no one ever pointed out that Billy Porter looks like James Brown? This James Brown specifically

borrowing from the other app so that all of these women’s names are shared & remembered.

Because why did they do that??? I never touched those shoes again 😭😭😭

We’ve had the keys to our house for a week and already I’ve had to call our home warranty folks to request HVAC service. This is AFTER we had an inspection and everything was working optimally. I’m missing the ‘call maintenance’ life already. 😭

Also, I stand by my earlier assertion that the men in most of these spicy audiobooks who are suuuuper attentive and hyper-aware of the woman’s emotions are just neurospicy.

So, I’m new to listening to the smut audiobooks and I don’t like this sentimental, neo-soul shit they be doing. 🗣️ GET TO CRACKIN, MALIK!

Well… we got the keys on our new house 3 weeks before our first wedding anniversary.

This is so heartbreaking. She purchased the pills online, took way too many, and was much further along than she thought she was.

I HAAAATED my childhood nickname so much at 5 I insisted that my family call me Kristen (I hated ‘Kris’ too), but now only my mama’s brothers use it and it always makes me smile when they do.

Told them “back of the line, bitch” 😂😂😂

Nobody: Me: What is this, KNOTTY PINE?!

So it has begun

My coworker called me Tropicana for wearing yellow and I told him he looked like Michigan J. Frog with his suit combo. Chicagoans and Memphians are the most unserious people

I don’t think HE thinks that’s her house…

What in the “Why I oughta” is going on here???

Michael B. Jordan's acceptance speech for his first-ever Oscar. “I know you guys want me to do well and I wanna do that cause you guys bet on me. Thank you for keeping betting on me and I’m gonna keep stepping up.” See the full winners list: bit.ly/OscarWins26