Did my morning bike ride and ate a bag of Honey Nut Cheerios for first breakfast. Now it's time for breakfast rice.

I've been making more of an effort to go on a lil bike ride. I went earlier in the morning cuz it's starting to get hot early.

I like butts.

I think I'm gonna go for my morning bike ride/reading session. It's gonna be too hot soon.

I really like the word "MacGuffin".

HONEY NUT CHEERIOS ARE ON SALE!!! 🥳🥳🥳 *happy air horn noises*

It took me nearly a year to realize my phone's cloaca can also charge my earbuds.

I just want the rolling chassis of this little guy. I would make it electric. I just think that's the way to go for these kinds of bikes. I'm still gonna go with my Honda plan. I just think this lil guy is adorable.

I've changed my opinion on the term "fight fire with fire." Cuz you can totally fight fire with fire depending on what kind of fire you're fighting. There are better options, but still. It is a thing you can do.

I know it's "tinfoil", but "timfoil" sounds funnier and it's actually aluminum so either way, I'm wrong.

💰🦆🐥🐤

How many scorpions are you gonna let sting you before you stop offering to ferry them across the river? They warn you every god damn time. It's frustrating as fuck.

Ohh!! Seeing NY gives me freudenfreude. I'm happy for them! Good old Knickerbockers! 🥳🥳🥳🥳

One thing I will not be doing is letting anyone take my whimsy. Only I can do that.

I'm gonna have a frozen pizza for breakfast. Well, I'm gonna cook it first. You get it.

"Here Rose the Graced, not Rose the Chaste, reposes. The scent that rises is no scent of roses."

I'm gonna start posting random sentences from The Book of the New Sun randomly and until I forget. Thank you for your continued support.

Y'all. I'm starting to think that there IS a war in Ba Sing Se.

So... Do you guys like bread? What's your favorite bread? What's your least favorite bread? Can you make bread? I only know how to make focaccia and cornbread.

I can't shake this awful feeling that I may have asked to be born. I'm sure I would have eventually, I guess.

Have I told y'all how good Book of the New Sun is?! It's so good.

I want a clarion. I have a trumpet, but that one isn't for mischief. This clarion, however... I could probably ruin at least three people's days because they just KNOW they missed the Rapture.

I'm glad I got to be young, when I did. I used to get super excited about future tech and day dream about all the cool stuff that would come out. And there is cool stuff. Too bad the people that made it are worse than demons. I should've figured we'd live in Blade Runner and not Star Trek.

web site: would you like to download the app for the full customer experience?? me: wOuLd You LIkE to dOwNLoAd the ApP FoR the fuLl cUStOmeR eXPeriENce? shut up web site i hope you fall in quicksand

If Rush Limbaugh is so smart, how come he’s dead? 🧐

Orca Team Ocho A battalion of whales Out there sinking yachts A haiku about mischievous dolphins.

What happens if you make pesto with cashews?

That little mouse with the flail is adorable.

I don't like, get Timothy Chalamet. He didn't do anything. He's just one of those people. Maybe that's why I couldn't get down with Dune. I like pretty much everyone else in that franchise except for him.

I wanna build a mini solar powered charging station for my mini electric bike. How cool would that be?!

I napped through my minibike adventure time! I suppose I can just do it in the morning before it gets hot. It was hot today and I wanted to ride toward the sunset like some sort of dork.

Inutile as an adjective and a synonym for useless or pointless. I learned that word in a book. I'm gonna try and use it in the wild despite the fact that I'm still pretty sure I don't know what effete means. I'll get back to y'all on that.

Lol.. littlecaesar'shatin'ass bitch. 🤣 Anyway, that's what I think of people that tell me my choice in celebrity crushes is weird. Little Caesar's is good and I'll commit my soul to the soil of this lumpy, raised patch of earth for that.

My fan was making this god awful drunk dubstep wub-wub and I punched it and it stopped. Violence sometimes is the answer. If you can fix the problem with punches, I recommend administering punches.

I'm still not over that little dancing Mudkip. It's so adorable.

I haven't thrown my hands toward the firmament and sang my praises to the moon in a while. I should probably get back to doing that. I think she's pissed.

I really don't like y'all blaming my boy Satan for stuff. People are bad enough all on their own.

I cooked lunch and now I don't want what I made. 😖

I want a cat named Sport that is painfully lazy.

Ronald Reagan died 22 years ago and it was the best thing he had ever done.

Look at him dance! 🥺

If you call yourself a patriot unironically, you can just stop talking to me. I can promise you, I'll almost certainly not listen to whatever you're gonna say next. Even if you think you're spitting gospel truth. Especially if you think you're spitting gospel truth.

Tepid take: a rapper who doesn't write their own raps is hip-hop in that way Russia is communist.

I'm a minibike guy. He takes me places to read and stuff. I've already gotten everything for the swap save for the battery. I'm gonna wait to buy that, though. I might come up with a better plan.

We're all just fish that failed to turn into crabs.

It's upsetting to know that we could've probably domesticated dodo birds and we didn't.

A different take on that statement from an archaeologist 💯💯💯🎯

I like how in this book, they'll be like, "can you believe they used to pick slaves based on skin color? How barbaric! Anyway those "people" from up north are savages and children of the devil. We're gonna go kill them. Wanna come?"

Irritability. 😖🥵😭