what's my crime having a crush? a succulent transsexual crush??

Been using a modified hillyard quick-pass for years. Gotta say, it's tough to beat in a pinch

You have a chew toy? Are you a puppy girl? No, it's a "choo" toy. I'm a trains girl!

Fortnite is just frot noir rearranged

Ghibli is just big lib rearranged

DC is just CD rearranged

MCU is just CUM rearranged 🤔

Some people peaked in high school. I peaked three months ago

I'm getting implants lol

Love me a sully

I am furniture

Ur valid

Did I cook? Or is it chopped?

Fittingly finished at a diner 😭

For reasons too complex to explain here, I wrote an Apple II program designed for Early Modern Age Catholics to determine if they're allowed to have sex with their wife, or if it'd be a sin. Here's the video of it running.

All signs have their special little power. As a Virgo, I can re-virginize myself as I see fit. So, I currently am a virgin. 😇

POV: you're about to be hit with diabolical clownery 🤡

Hoping for a Wisconsin Christmas pie this year

It's kinda fun when the singular and plural of a word are the same, but I feel like it can be taken advantage of. Like, did I order a fish(singular) or fish(plural) taco?

Everyone's like, "get a job!" "Why aren't you employed??". I Told everyone I'd get a job once blade season is over. Guess what... Blade season is never over, baby! 🗡️🗡️🗡️

While soothing my body, mind and spirit in a warm bath filled with scented Epson salt, I realize it's basically piss play. Covering myself in warm smelly salty water?!?! Freak!

Some people peaked in high school. I peaked two months ago

Stomp clap hey? More like "hey, won't you stomp on over and clap these cheeks"

Organ eyes organize organ lies

Yes, I am a millennial. I suppose it's time I tried rocking a side part.

If my pronouns were it/its (they aren't) I could go as TS Ellie-it 🤔

Colon eyes colonize colon lies

Standard eyes standardize standard lies 🤔

Social eyes socialize social lies 👀

Disappointing lack of gay public sex happening at the screening of the gay public sex movie

Goonin' is as goonin' does...

Sometimes it's like, "ohhh?" 😜

Love Exposure(2008)

Truck drivers should be called semiconductors

trans people: i don't recommend freaking out every time some whackjob in a state legislature tries to make something about you illegal, state level politicians are explicitly introducing legislation that will not pass to win points with their wackjob constituents and terrorize you

New byline! For Stop Caring, I spoke with @jeannethornton.bsky.social about her novel A/S/L and its roots in the ZZT community

If Tokyo drift took place in southwestern Wisconsin

A girl's gotta be ready to battle at all times 😤

Anything I'm forgetting? 🎥🍿 🦫

Some people peaked in high school. I peaked one month ago...

When it won't come out clear 😭

I'm not like other girls... For example when I say EoE, I'm taking about East of Eden, not End of Evangelion

Kids used to say "should I call her?" Nowadays they say "should I coll-ar? 🐶"

Rollerblade fun, but sometimes ouchie boo boo 😵

Why does pickled cucumber get to claim the name "pickle"?? So many other great pickled foods. Pickled cukes should be called pukes.

Puppy love 😻

Basketball Tennis Gay Sex Chess Shocktato Sissy hypno Dangling toy for my cat Tales of Symphonia Straight sex Beer bong

How can people complain of a lack of transfem representation in media when there are soooo many instances of men writing women?

Gen z friend didn't get this boner quip because it involves understanding analog clocks, also because Gen z doesn't think about dicks/sex: *Cracks open cold beer* "it's 5:00 somewhere" "Ya, it's also 2:11 in my pants"