Unless and until some kind of compelling legal and moral argument is presented as to why this is a legitimate use of deadly force, this is just…mass murder.

Yes, this is lame but one Super Bowl and we'll all be ready to dress like Ben Johnson (JCrew slim-fit tech pants and a button down shirt that's 10% elastane).

Ball don't lie. Bear down, Chicago Bears.

Are the refs sure they don't want to call a penalty on the Bears on that game-winning FG?

If you just listened to the broadcast and couldn’t see the score you’d think the Bears were down by 20 at halftime.

Dan Quinn winning that challenge.

Ah. Well, nevertheless. Fun year, Cubs. See you in the spring.

And we head to the 7th with the Cubs trailing by 5, 2-1.

Rocking back and forth on my couch reminding myself that the outcome of a professional baseball game is not a reflection on me personally.

ADAM AMIN: And here's Cal Raleigh to lead off the 13th for the Mariners. A.J. PIERZYNSKI: You know what Detroit would never expect here ...

Hell yeah.

The Cubs should have like 17 runs so far.

it only seventh inning

Ian Happ did what now

That's a nice leadoff single by Kyle Tucker, who I'll spend the next 20 years periodically remembering like, "Oh yeah he played for the Cubs for a year and seemed like he hated it."

Look, I don't know how this will work but my offseason trade proposal is that the Cubs trade Matt Shaw to the Trump administration for Paul Skenes.

TBS claiming Dansby Swanson had the quietest ever 50-homer season.

Boy, pretty stupid of the Brewers to score in the top of the first inning. You simply can't win ballgames that way.

hey chicago whaddya say are you gonna make me sad today

Still thinking about how this was a game-winning touchdown.

Ben Johnson watching that Trevor Lawrence stumble play

“I’m just a little guy”

I still think Spencer Torkelson sounds like a Parks and Rec character.

I know we’re all aware but the concept of Shohei Ohtani is still completely insane. Pitches like an ace and also hits 55 dingers. Like, what if Jalen Hurts also played defense and was as good as Maxx Crosby. None of us will ever see this again in our lives!

Talking to my therapist about how I check the win expectancy graph after every out of a Cubs playoff game

Pinch hit for Shaw I don’t care who it is

I wouldn't want to watch Matt Shaw play for the Cubs as an All-Star. I certainly don't want to watch him be the worst position player left in the playoffs.

doing some research

No idea what happens with the Cubs today but watching them flounder around for so much of the past 2-3 months gives me such an appreciation for how *good* that 2016 team was. They were good and you knew they were good and that was such an unfamiliar feeling. BRING IT BACK.

We're gonna need an active communist party if only to restore context to our political discourse, I can't listen to republicans calling chuck schumer radical left anymore

Look, I want the Cubs to win but if you use an opener in the playoffs you can't complain when the baseball gods rightfully smite you.

[JD Vance in 2027] “You’re laughing. Brilyn Hollyhand is stuck at the bottom of a vat of green slime from the Nickelodeon show Double Dare and the left is laughing about it.”

I HATED EVERY SECOND OF THAT BEAR DOWN CHICAGO BEARS

Sitting here on my couch with my family saying stuff like “too much time for Geno Smith” god help all of us

RIP Kaleb Horton kalebhorton.ghost.io/2025-so-far/

The Epstein thing is truly the most bizarre thing in decades. Here's this rich guy. Absolutely no one knows how he got his money. But everyone does know he's a pedophile. He is also friends with every powerful person on Earth. Interesting! I guess this is where our tale ends.

Articles you couldn't pay me $1,000 to click on

I have to admit I underestimated how much Elon buying Twitter would influence our politics - not because of its influence on ordinary people, which I predicted accurately as "significant but not extraordinary," but because I didn't realize how addicted all our journos and politicians are to Twitter

I wrote about the Kimmel situation

This was very good! Stop capitulating!

Just a legendary ability to be skull-crushingly unfunny at all times. The man has no peers. The greatest to ever do it.

The world feels very heavy sometimes but the Chicago Cubs clinched a playoff berth today and you know what? Hell yeah, my friends.

The new Avengers movie looks like shit

Everyone loves watching the Tush Push. Everyone agrees this is fun and good football.

I’m sorry you thought you could change things, Ben Johnson. But this is the Chicago Bears.

I never for one second believed in the Billy Goat Curse for the Cubs but I actually think the Bears are permanently fucked.

I’m just gonna assume Ben Johnson told Santos to kick it out of bounds on the opening kick as a joke

And everyone probably remains confused anyway.

The single worst value prop I’ve ever seen.