having violent thoughts towards my upstairs neighbors useless boyfriend that i can hear her fighting with through the walls every god damn night

old mans looking rather crinkled on this eve

whitening strips on, no bra at the aldi buying beans on this fall morning

not to be a hater but elephants, dogs and monkeys are my top 3 least favorite animals and i am scared of them

did a Halloween program at a nursing home today and there was a loose child running up and down the halls in a grim reaper costume

they love it when you’re cold and damp to the touch they think it’s so sexy come get in my sleeping bag queen (cowboy camping 2nite and it is raining)

my new job is i get paid and receive heath insurance to info dump on people about animals while holding/showing said animals like all day 5 year old me would be over the moon just like 27 year old me is

if I twitch stream the one (1) video game I play (Planet Zoo) and use it as a platform to info dump about the animals and how zoos work and how to build realistic exhibits in game to an audience of probably 3 people weekly would you guys like that

we did it kids we start at the zoo in 2 weeks 🥲

sweater

:,)

don’t you wish your girlfriend was dirty and offputting like me

eating muffins on the floor at 1am listening to Lana del Rey when I have to get up at 5

Blowing up the men’s room in my all-female office for feminism

obsessed with the Cursed Free Mason Couch Shaped Glittery Kleenex Box Cover I found at the thrift

GOT A SECOND INTERVIEW ITS WORKING FOLKS PLZ KEEP DOING WHAT YOURE DOING THIS WOULD BE MY DREAM COME TRUE 🥲

OH you are coming home with me, decorative branded Lexapro jar

ur in her dms im in the woods double fisting turts and eating persimmons off the ground

Dress code for the rapture tomorrow is your cuntiest outfit We need to be slaying and serving when the freaks get sucked up into the sky and we inherit the earth

✨Affirmations✨ I will succeed bc I am insane 🫶 My energy is off-putting, and that is not my business 💖 I am funnier than any man I have ever met 🎉 My womb is barren and dusty 👏 The soul within me is not a city on a hill, it is a spirit halloween 😍

hey babes if they know every MTG card and player on their favorite football team but can’t remember your birthday or how to do dishes it’s not adhd, they just don’t care 🫶 hope this helps!

Damn they really know how to get me

why are you so eyes

Page 3

cartoons about Virgil

Hmmm

all of my ancestors chanting my name as i eat chicken straight out of the can and a handful of m & ms for dinner

one time in eighth grade we had to take a really long quiz that was supposed to tell us what career we should aspire to have and it told me i should be a podiatrist (foot doctor) or a magician and i got so mad i cried

*butters your crabapples*

paw paws on the trail by the creek turn into paw paws in my hand and then into paw paw ice cream

went to a professional networking event this morning and the only person i ran into there that i knew was a guy i bullied in college for being a member of the alt right and also threw a volleyball at his head in 2021 for using a slur at a part

WE GOT AN INTERVIEW IN 2 WEEKS THANK U GAYS

gay people in my phone we didn’t get the dream job we interviewed for so we applied for a different dream job that were actually more qualified for please manifest or do whatever you do

me when the entire world doesn’t follow the schedule i made up in my head and told nobody about: :O

they could never make me hate you and your blue gatorade flavored springs, Ozarks 🫶🫶🫶

not here for a good time or a long time, but a secret third type of time

Happy Dimitri Friday to all who celebrate

infestation

I am 1/3 of the way done with my 5K training plz clap

really feeling himself tonight after he ate another plant and broke a mirror

Page 1 of the Virgil comic 🐈

when we say eat the rich I’d like to remind some of yall that also includes Taylor Swift (billionaire) and her $500K ring

get in girls were all going to the gay swamp

thinking about the state of the world: 👹🔥🔫🦅🚫👎 remembering that i can’t get pregnant bc i paid a surgeon to remove my fallopian tubes: 💖✨🫶✨💋💃🪩🎀💝🌟🥰

devastated, shocked and offended that running and actually drinking water does make a significant positive difference in my day FUCK

Today is the National Park Service’s birthday! 🥳🏞️ You know what would be a great birthday gift? Not firing staff or cutting funds from the agency responsible for keeping our public lands pristine and accessible!

here is the concept work for a comic journal I’m working on about my cat, Virgil and all the big life changes/events he’s quietly been a part of with me over the years 🧡

posing with my bread loaf the way men pose with fish