Great to see that Five have been having a successful second career as bald car mechanics…

@lukehaines.bsky.social and I are the Fanny and Alexander of North London as the Christmas Fallbaules are on the tree and the I Am Kurious Oranj diorama from @heykidsshop.bsky.social is assembled.

Reality TV pitch: ‘Absolute Tripe’, a show reviving the traditional British tripe-eating contest (with an option of silken tofu for any vegetarian contestants)

Oh, Frank!

I am finding Your Party to be problematic in that every headline about them reads like an accusation….

lwtheatres.co.uk/whats-on/bla... Black Box Recorder are playing The London.Palladium next year. It's not nostalgia - it's revenge.

Is anybody going to see My Bloody Valentine tonight and would they like to give me their ticket?

Big news coming tomorrow. Watch this space.

Mistakes have been made…

This is now outside the paywall, please do read and share

🧵On our revelations today about the BBC Coup and the Prescott Dossier. The leaked ‘BBC Bias’ memo Trump used to attack the BBC was authored by Michael Prescott — a Hanover lobbyist paid by US tech/media giants tied to Trump. Full story: bylinetimes.com/2025/11/11/b... 1/12

It begins…

If @lukehaines.bsky.social opens a Showaddywaddy box set on Christmas Day gifted to him by his son, I shall be holding John Lewis to account…

open.spotify.com/artist/6Hd3x... Child Psych streaming at 60 mil. 1.4 mill monthly listeners. Trebles all 'round for our record label and spotify. Not so much for us. Poor me, wah wah wah. Life is unfair.

BBC Archive just uploaded The Lonely Shore (1962), a surreal 15-minute short that takes the form of a scientific report from an abandoned and desolate future Britain. Written by Jacquetta Hawkes, an actual archaeologist, and directed by Ken Russell, an actual madman.

Rest in peace D’Angelo, true genius of music. I’m so sad. Black Messiah was the first love gift I ever bought my husband when we first started dating…

Oh no. Sometimes the obituaries just seem to come in like waves. Generations pass, I suppose. The water gets closer.

Hours after burying his wife, two children and grandson, Palestinian journalist Wael al-Dahdouh went back on air to continue reporting His ability to continue his job while Israel killed tens of thousands of Gazans around him has turned him into an icon of bravery

Wonder how long the sub-editor has been waiting for this to happen…

Quick self-awareness memo to all aging people in music and media who are trading on past glories - draping yourself in 18 year olds is cringe and creepy. Really.

The blue team have done unbelievably badly on Today’s Bargain Hunt…

Last gig before the heating goes on and I stop leaving the house. Come along if you’re at a loose end! www.thelexington.co.uk/event.php?id...

This morning I said 'Never mind ban the boats, how about ban the bands' and it made me laugh. If you are interested in hearing more of these kind of 'zingers' then come to the Lexington on Sunday, where I will be playing a benefit gig for Resonance FM.

OK, Butthole Surfers film incoming! Watch the trailer for the Albini quote... www.youtube.com/watch?v=29dA... (screenshot not showing up for some reason...)

Why is it always a children's book? When do we get a celebrity who decides to edit a Festschrift or prepare an annotated edition of a primary source text?

The BBC Archive YouTube channel is the best thing to happen in my life since the old queen died…

What’s the latest in Mass Hysteria Event News? This is, hands down, my favourite kind of news - and indeed event…

Melvyn Bragg steps down from In Our Time - how the hell am I meant to get to sleep now?..

If you have a phone hidden for your safety you need to know about this…

Luke Haines - Peter Buck “Blow Your Mind” Hot Sauce. Available at gigs or online. Proceeds to charity. Order: www.rockadoodledo.com/shop-all/blo... To benefit: www.musicforall.org.uk

Two minutes of Octopus Rock from the @lukehaines.bsky.social and Peter Buck show at Omeara in London last night…

Saturday Kitchen, what a format. An actor is talking about the book she’s written about WW2 whilst nobody listens and two blokes make some goats cheese profiteroles.

Seaside Special with @lukehaines.bsky.social

Highgate Wood Adventure Playground. A small child is playing Ode to Joy on the toy glockenspiel.

I was having a lovely doze in the chair and then suddenly this!

open.spotify.com/track/7Bj4wI... Child Psych by my old band Going past 53 mill on Spotify. One day our Dickensian record company will pay us our due for this.

I’m hiring a reporter for London Centric, looking for someone smart who can use a phone, knock on doors and wants to cause trouble. Don’t care if you’ve got qualifications, just want evidence of caring about news. Initial six month contract, pay above national rates. www.londoncentric.media/p/jobs

Guess which of these stories came first on both the BBC One and Radio 4 bulletins.

Fathers looking forward to mothers finally getting off their arses this Sunday buff.ly/krRxLNv

Aaahhh shite… Sail on Sailor…

I’ve only just seen footage of Tommy Robinson coming out of chokey looking like Andrei Rublev…

I recently spoke to the ineffable @lukehaines.bsky.social for @radioprimavera.bsky.social and I enjoyed it thoroughly. We spoke about his new LP with Peter Buck, why Shiny Happy People is a banger, girls running classic rock, octopus love, Britpop + nuclear war. www.mixcloud.com/RadioPrimave...

I’d like to declare to the world that I am about to go to the supermarket, still dressed in my pyjamas, to buy a bottle of wine… This is nothing to do with the death of Alan Yentob…

All the news should be like this.

I knew I should have gone into arms dealing instead of public service… www.theguardian.com/media/2025/m...

Funny old world… www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

At the feet of The Master…

I played a short French tour last week. Here's some footage from a show in the Parisiene suburb of Asnieres Sur Siene. Thanks to LeCargo webzine for these. www.lecargo.org/spip/luke-ha...

My first single - Sixty Eight Guns by The Alarm bought from Woolworths in Woodbridge…