Hummingbirb at the pool! 😍

I can see your brains melting and applauding the dumbest shit possible in real time and it’s depressing as fuck

@trey.com went here and everyone knew you

If I go walk around out front before the David Byrne show at Caesars tonight with a finger in my ass, do you think I’ll get miracled? ☝️

My favorite part about this fanbase is they feverishly want 40 min jams yet good fuckin luck getting them to listen to you speak for more than 5 seconds

Okay, now I’m gonna play a game of where the fuck do I stay the next few days

Trey’s tone tho 🥹

I love when someone wants your digits so you text them your full name and they never text you back. How am I supposed to remember who the hell that was last night??? 😂

My favorite part of last night had to be Trey doing a heartfelt “life is short and special you better enjoy it” then immediately ripping into a song about shooting a dog 💀

I’m practically weeping during Hydrogen after raging Mike’s. These lovely people behind us pick that moment to hand me stickers to pass out to my friends because we were “the best dancers” and I must’ve looked completely insane. “Yes, that’s so sweet pleased to meet you!” While ugly crying

A lefty languedoc?

Shit Shower Showtime

Holy shit this dude a row ahead of me is watching Soul Plane

Boy Man God Enshittification

I got this flight with a tight connection because it said I didn’t have to switch terminals at DFW and now I’m late AND have to switch terminals 🫠

UnaLIV

In a world gone mad a world gone mad

Incredible 😂

Ex Peninsula is no Milf Island but also hilarious

You go get you that electronic sad dad attention

Scottie Potty Scheffler

Swollen RFK Jr. Warns Americans Not Eating Enough Bees https://theonion.com/swollen-rfk-jr-warns-americans-not-eating-enough-bees/

Tommy Skeetwood 3 under through 7 👀

@alexsteffen.bsky.social maybe you’ll see this since you disable comments… You’re a complete hack. DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT DORK

You know it’s fucking fake, dweeb

Horrible shit weekend comin up. My (step)dad & his fiancée decided about three weeks ago to have their wedding tomorrow. It was supposed to be in June. Oh, and my birthday is Sunday 😑🔫

DIY Good Friday

Jealous!

His name is Hagueseth!!!!

Only way to get chicks is to smash your balls with a hammer. It’s right there in the name, ball-peen

GO ARTEMIS GO! 🥹

Please tell me the manosphere is drinking coyote urine

Add camping in New Jersey’s Big Pussy Bonpensiero State Park on the ‘ol bucket list 🪣📝

Can’t believe I’m saying this, but I may drive out to Vegas. Make road trip out of it and break it up with stops along the way, idk 🤷‍♂️

ICE agents are TSA Pee

Staying in gratitude by remembering that things could be worse… Tomorrow, things will be worse tomorrow

Peedom isn’t free 🫡🇺🇸

54% of US adults read at a 6th grade level or lower

Sci-Fi should be somewhat believable, microorganisms that feed on the surface of the sun??? ::full Charles Barkley voice:: C’MON MAN!!!!

Ways to exceed #online: publicly destroy your gastrointestinal tract and liquify your brain

Go fuck yourself, Rick Pitino

I can tell you’re thinking “is that a hotdog on a stick in a grocery store parking lot?” The answer is yes

Is it too late for a career change? I want to be a librarian at the dog stick library... 🐶📖

truly incredible that strava leaks are still happening after all this time

Wastes, frauds, and serial abusers want you to be upset about waste, fraud, and abuse