Just realized that I mentally say “mom’s spaghetti” when I’m sweaty like some kind of insane millennial cockney slang

Work: “You seem overwhelmed and stressed out. What can we do?” Me: “Can I have a couple of unpaid days at the end of the year?” “No.” 😵‍💫

Oh great another crepe shop is coming to town 😂

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The Father’s Day card section is bleak. Themes are farting, alcohol and tools

Got a variety of pastries from 85c and not a fan of the few we tried. What should I be grabbing there? Line was so long I skipped the drinks.

Went to the new Asia Village in Blaine and I think Minnesotans have Asians to thank for saving their dying malls

My boss just asked me if I had a plan and I said I had a concept of a plan and nobody got it

lmao, if this is true, I will be crying in the H Mart

I think I would vote for Satan himself if he Thanos-blipped away all of the fireworks in the world

My supervillain origin story is going to start when someone gives my child another toy that has to be activated by downloading an app

Someone gave us a gift card to Outback Steakhouse so we took the kids. So, should you go to Outback in 2026? Heck yes.

I feel alive

Don’t get a lab if you value your personal space

If I lived closer to South Lyndale Liquors I’d be in trouble.

its so funny growing up really disliking summer squash, only to realize it was because your parents had no clue how to cook it

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They should build loads of data centers all over the place that contain huge quantities of books that people can borrow for free if they fill out a form to get a data center card and promise to return the books on time and don’t make too much noise in the data center.

It isn’t until I go to a coffee shop like Five Watt do I realize how deeply uncool I am 😂

We’re putting too many things on our burgers. The best one I’ve had recently just had really beefy tasting smash patties, American cheese, minced onion and pickles.

We have a babysitter. Give me your Hudson, WI recs!

Genuinely life-changing trick for keeping mosquitoes away that I discovered by accident last summer: run a bubble machine.

Find myself busting out my parents greatest hits. “This is not a democracy” 😂

My five year old got very mad at me about something and passed me a note that simply said “MOM NO.”

Went to a little restaurant in NE Minneapolis with the strangest menu- enjoyed the best cocktail on their patio - a dirty Mai Tai flavored with olive brine. Genius.

You can’t find gooey butter cake up here but you can find Jeni’s gooey butter cake ice cream

Bars are always the best when ladies run them

At the point when it’s jarring when I hear a parent yell their child’s name across the playground and it’s actually. . . normal

My five year old wants to go to an ice cream shop with matcha ice cream. Other than Kyo, where have you seen matcha flavor? Not a fan of Treats.

(Our children can be heard plotting against us) Me: “welp at least they’re getting along 😭”

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Somehow I have a Labrador that hates water.

In this year of 2026, I saw some well-dressed lady walk out of a bathroom stall and proceed to delicately rinse her fingers under the faucet for two seconds before walking out with her friend 😭

Totally have her floor mat. It’s terrible quality lol.

I want to hate on 7Brew but there was no line, they gave me a medium instead of the small I paid for, which is actually the same size as a Starbucks large, and they’re blasting the shit out of a Kesha playlist.

The Dippin Dot inflation index is $8 this summer

Just in case anyone’s on the fence about a MN Zoo membership, it costs $105 for a family of four + parking or $180 for annual membership that includes parking, plus you can get in at 9 am instead of 10 am

I kinda feel guilty eating this ice cream. 😬. 🍽️

Nico’s Pizza in Fargo. Evergreen in Minneapolis. Russian Tea House in St Paul. 😭

Stopped by Pangea Market and the connected restaurant Mashawi Coal-Fired Grill in Coon Rapids, and the beef shawarma meal I had was ridiculously delicious.

It’s hilarious to me how many restaurants have active Facebook pages but don’t respond to messages. Someone just responded to me six months later lol

My review of the baked chicken tenders at Costco’s food court? Pretty good. Not gonna change your life but not bad. Not greasy. Nice addition to the other items. Kids give it two thumbs up. Dip is just ok- honey mustard would be better.

I’m in my skort era

Maybe it will be warm in. . . (Checks calendar) June? 😭

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Usually I hate icebreaker questions but the intern had a good one that I’ve been asking everyone I know: If each of your five fingers one one hand could squirt out a different liquid which ones would you choose?

When in Duluth.

Went to a distillery and ordered the make-your-own cheese plate and received a takeout box with three bricks of unopened cheese still in their wrapper with a bag of unopened crackers and tiny cup of pickles. They did serve it with a cutting board and knife. I just died cracking up.

My dog Archie has a little neighborhood posse of best friends with old English names- Winston, Ferdinand, and Archibald

Got an email from my kids’ school with the subject line, “Possible exposure to” and I have no idea why I jumped to Hantavirus instead of head lice 😭