It’s good when a month starts on a Monday, but it’s even better when the second day is a Tuesday cause that makes it Twosday

What’s even going on anymore

I saw many incredible outfits during Victoria Pride but this is the one I chose to document

The efforts of influencers are wasted on me. Strangers have no sway over me. My loved ones who know my exact taste can’t convince me to watch a new tv show I’d probably enjoy. Jessica TikTokDance is utterly powerless here

I’m still not over the irony of a bunch of billionaires flying private planes to a wedding held in a city that’s slipping into the ocean in part due to global warming

Mr. Gorbachev, remove this paywall

And if I walk into the glass window of your establishment you should take it as a compliment to your cleaning skills

Hottest thing a prospective romantic interest can do is not complain about my glacial response time

Not everyone who’s blonde is evil. That being said, some people are evil because they are blonde

Me: ahh, it’s so nice to be home after an overstimulating day. I can’t wait for peace and quiet The crows outside my apartment: ladies and gentlemen, we’re proud to present our brand new opera, a chorus of corvids: CAW CAW CAWWW CAWCAW CAW CAW CAW CAWWCAWCAW CAW

I don’t mind when strangers hit on me in public cause I get to try out new characters. No, Adrian isn’t single. Well, technically she is, but she married a ghost in a Las Vegas hotel on spring break in 2017, so she considers herself spoken for

Yawned while I was cracking my neck and the sound came out of my mouth.. woag

In high school I’d steal a copy of every book we read in English class that I enjoyed. I’m the conservative taxpayer’s worst nightmare

Happy pride! The first homophobic act of the month is ofc having to pay rent,

Spending all my time writing has ruined my social skills. Ppl ask hey what’s new with you?? And I’m like well, I’m really into tornadoes and deer metaphors right now

Me: the cure for my maladies is to watch a baby horse learn to run in a field. My pharmacist: we, uh, can’t fill that here. Anyway, here’s your Prozac

God forbid a white girl gets a little freaky with it

I was mucking around beneath an overpass filming some stuff and this old man stopped and looked down in alarm and was like are you alright?? Anyway if you’re not concerning the elderly you’re not really living your life 👍🏻

Trying to recommend a film to my friends: so it’s non linear and pretentious as hell and objectively anti feminist. All that said, it has a certain je ne sais quoi 🤷‍♀️

I did a task I’d been putting off for years (!!!) today. It took ~1 hour. Many such cases

While undeniably a bad idea I can’t help but laugh at the concept of adult abortion. You could be in the world for 42 years and your mom could just go uh uh I take it back no more life for you✌🏻

Horny with boundaries, standards, and a vengeance. Therefore, celibate.

I love blood and gore and body parts and gratuitous violence, but I’m too pretentious for intestines. I can’t help it. I find them gauche

Some ppl watch horror movies and go nooooo don’t go down to the basement!! But not me. I’m a sick freak & I like it when they go down there

I don’t have anything intelligent to say about it, but I think it’s so so sad people are using AI as a friend/someone to talk to :(

Things I want a car for: 1. Getting groceries 2. Doing donuts in empty parking lots

happy to report that I'm feeling a lot more unhinged as of late in a way that's maybe not great for my longterm health but is fantastic re: producing literature

A guy walked up to me today in McDicks and asked if I could buy him some food. I said maybe, what do you want? He said a 10 piece nugget meal, fries and a chocolate shake. I’m like hmm. I can do a 6 piece nugget meal? Would that be ok? He said no. Gotta admire a man with convictions

Google docs does not agree that this is fun. Ironic, considering it too uses it/its pronouns

Writing a short story with a protagonist that has ‘It/Its’ pronouns and holy fuck this is fun

Unfortunately I’m here for a long time, not a good time

Oh. Okay

There’s so much terrible shit going on in the world. But the good news is if an asteroid was coming to hit us we could probably nuke it and be ok

Maso Demos by BENJAMINTO (me, zoe) 14 songs about suicidal ideation, disordered eating, and abusing substances with lovers and friends, recorded between 2016 and 2019 (the most active and turbulent part of my life so far—i'm doing much better now don't worry) would love if u listened sometime :)

And a happy mother’s day to ME for rescuing my cat from our malfunctioning fire alarm by taking out the batteries

Look how happy my grocery store cilantro is on my balcony💚

Do you guys think my habit of eating heavily discounted almost unsellable grocery store sushi is gonna come back to haunt me? Be honest

Learning in real time that some people don’t like when you call their newborn babies “fresh out the oven”

A brand new social cue just dropped! And no, they’re not gonna tell you about it

Haustorium is absolutely incredible. Chilling, emotionally impactful and beautifully written, it’s one of those short stories that’s stayed with me long after I finished it. I can’t recommend it enough honestly !!

What’s everyone’s plans for witnessing the fall of the American empire this summer? 🌞

The Canadian film industry right now:

I mean fuck. Maybe

To be fair, life introduces me to the most interesting people. Tonight I sat next to an older gay guy on the bus who’s a 3rd generation mortician. He was the only kid out at his high school and he drove a hearse to school. I mean ?? How am I supposed to resist that

who gives a fuck dude she brags about using the money she receives to get laws passed that abuse countless actual people who exist in the real world

Drives me nuts when food influencers hold the thing they just made up to the camera and say “here’s your bite.” Come onnnnn you know I can’t have it!! I’m behind a screen!!! Why do you mock me so??😭

Maybe my worst quality as a writer is meeting someone in the wild and immediately going ohhhhhh. You’re going in a novel

I love not listening to the radio or TikTok & being on my own unique musical journey. What’s trending in my heart right now is the 2003 Mountain Goats album “Tallahassee”

Still don’t understand why my last Tinder bio didn’t do well 😔

Do you guys think they’ll still let me vote if I smell a little like weed