One must imagine Sisyphus gagged

if you're not willing to play with her feet in front of your friends, just give up the game, you're not a true lover forreal

asked for a swirl milkshake at plnt burger, guy said they only have vanilla. i imagine this is what my parents felt like when the nurses first handed me to them

i consider her answer to "how'd you sleep last night?" to be my performance review for the previous day

i never feel more accomplished than when i actually manage to put all my clothes away in the closet

came out to a lot of folks in '17, but didnt start hrt til '19, i consider the intervening 2 years my personal intermezzo

i want to collectively set the trans community back, to 222 CE, and prevent the execution of Elagabalus by any means necessary

i push my fingers into my eyes sometimes, saying ayooouch

every woman is a cat, but some women are more cat than others

i am doing my best at continuing to be a normal person in public, but i am, frankly, seconds away from foaming into an "end is nigh" style raving doomsayer over this war at all times

woman of "you're the man of the house while i'm gone" experience

12 hr ban on x for wanting a guy who touches women's hair without their consent to die. i stand by it

making an egg sunny side up? don't miss the step where you fumble the plate and drop it sunny side down

i'm the kind of city kid who needs a corner store to be within a block's distance at all times to feel safe and normal, so, given the lesbian tendency to enjoy a good nature hike, i've set myself up for a lifetime of psychological torture in the woods just to make women happy

i know it's guache to worry about buildings and history when ppl are dying, but man, we've already lost so many islamic heritage sites and landmarks in iraq, syria, lebanon, palestine... and now iran... will there be anything left when i'm old?

i shouldn't be at work serving coffee. i should either be at home making love to my gf, or joining the defensive jihad against the great satan

been getting real into jiggling in my free time. love that shit. every spare second i get i think "how's about a little jiggle" and then i wiggle some flesh in glee

kinda in the mood to get mad at everyone i know for not talking about the war more, but that would be hypocritical of me, as the only thing on my mind besides missiles is the memory of the keys on my gf's necklace dangling in front of my face when she last fucked me

iran striking oil platforms? oh fuck yes! i hope they make the whole world suffer. burn the global economy to the ground!!

we deserve the horrors we visit on the world to happen to us, this nation could never suffer enough to expiate the sins of it's warsome ways

been doubting how bi i am recently, but i just served a beautiful, soft spoken, red-headed gay boy, and my doubt has dissipated

purposely building up a static electrical charge by rubbing my body on the couch, then zapping my girl with a kiss, over and over

Hah, fooled you! Little did you know that was my decoy erogenous zone!

Divisive Insipid Sophistry, Corrupting Our Unity, Rewarding Saboteurs & Enemies

straight dude coworker trying to sell me on the idea that fucking on a first date is fine, but kissing is too much like, "you don't know where her mouth has been, at least fuckin' you can use a rubber" i'm so bewildered by this take 😵‍💫

the downside of the trans propensity of being cool with our exes is i can't spread around the embarrassing stories my gf shares about her ex

did some topping last night that has me feeling accomplished. like i really put in some good fucking work. like i should put that on my resumé

Is there a technology the left is excited about?" It's called the clamshell e-reader from It Follows, and I've been waiting for it since 2014

"it puts la roach pussy on its skin, or else it gets the lines again" - me to myself everytime i moisturize

got cut, electrocuted, and burned at work today. forget bdsm, just work service

(remembering) that Was oomf... back in the day...

i really wish i wasn't dizzy multiple times a day, every day. that would be so fucking cool. imagine being able to just go do stuff without wondering, "will my feeble body fail me?"

think i'm figuring out i might be hypoglycemic... the day before ramadan starts 🫩

i don't know how you long distance girlies do it. if i don't see her for even a day, the colors start bleeding out of my world

why play the videogame, when you could just leave the menu screen up forever and scroll your phone instead

few weeks ago my coworkers reinstated my black card when i remembered persia white's name off the top of my head, but they took it back today for not knowing who coco jones is. this race shit so fickle

help, this soy milk top is making me think nullo thoughts

i'd probably smoke cigarettes if the custom was to pass them around like a joint, but alas

getting to hear a trans woman laugh at the top of her lungs, that's the pulp of life man

Y'all hear about power structures? Fucked up. They do give a lot of people boners tho!

pointing at the saurornitholestes fossil leg in the exhibit like, "they got my drumstick 🥺😭"

apparently, taking a girl to the museum and breathlessly explaining the difference between synapsids and diapsids is my idea of rizz. it's a miracle i've ever been laid

at the natural history museum. either every woman in here is trans, or that's just what all women interested in dinosaurs look like

I’m releasing an alternate unapproved cut of castration movie I and II to be a tight 10 minutes each — coming soon to Quibi and YouTube shorts

crazy how much more secure i feel as a person when i have someone regularly squeezing and touching up on me

Where do I get the voice training that lets me speak in riddles

i fear i run my body a little too ragged on the regular, and i'm gonna regret it

top prep? meh, i just have my girl kick me in the dick when i start flagging and voila, ready to rock n roll again

transition milestone: guy yesterday was like "excuse me young lady," and i was way more geeked off the young part than the lady part

maybe the "we're returning to a feudal era society" people have a point, 'cause it does feel a little like i'm reading gille de rais' emails