hate my shitty crumbling teeth so much dude. like, forget transition surgeries, i just want the money to replace every last one of these fuckers

think i need to start getting more comfortable having 3 or 4 person hangs, 'cause my preference for 1on1 might accidentally be siloing my friends from each other

i gave a small woman a light bear hug, and later that night she needed to go to the hospital for a burst appendix... like, yeah, definitely a coincidence, but i can't help but feel like i popped her

imagining a like 9 or 10 ft tall woman holding me in her arms cradle style

Couldn’t get it out of my head

In many ways Allah is the ultimate content creator

few things in this world better than sitting completely naked in a clothed woman's lap

disbanding ain't enough. i think every member of ice oughta have what they did to that woman done to them

is she prettier than me, or does she just have whiter features?

too many vivs in the dmv now. someone's gonna have to go home and change, and not me cuz i got here first

spreading rumors about u. that ur very kind and have a good heart

every other girl i know has a deserter for a dick, withering away halfway through the battle, whereas mine is more like those japanese soldiers who kept fighting long after the war was lost

to the tune of that nelly furtado song: i'm a pervert, i'll always find a way don't need to know where the hole is whatever you offer, trust, i got this

the thing about finding your way into my heart, is that all the doors lock behind you

LOSE YOUR OBJECT PERMANENCE DIVA, AND PERCEIVE THE FLOWERS IN FRONT OF YOU

nono, you misheard me, i said ployamorous; i have a preference for scams, schemes and long cons in my relationships

franco unamerican by nofx came up in the shuffle and i almost burst into tears

Today's mood

so we've decided on more death. again. typical.

Watching a frog carry a scorpion across a river: I want what they have

as a kid i really thought being a kind, friendly, and caring person was gonna be a way more popular life choice for adults than it's turned out to be

at a nye party the host insisted we all apply temporary tattoos, so the girl i'm dating hiked up her skirt and had me bend her over a couch to stick one right on her buttcheek, in front of all the gathered friends i have never felt more powerful

hah, lol, lmao even

my resolutions this year are • dethrone the shame • murder the shame • bury the shame • maybe finally learn eyeliner, idk

you, singing on new years: may old acquaintance be forgot 🎵 your hippocampus cooking up your next dream: lol, as if, we'll see about that...

2026 is like "I'm just a little baby, a little baby birthday boy. You wouldn't hate a year that just a little baby on her birthday would you?"

www.rhizomedc.org/new-events/2... I'm playing a show on the 16th! First one in TEN YEARS

i hope whoever thought up "view tickets in app" dies a painful death

Fooning (femme gooning)

you say you're a people pleaser, but, correct me if i'm wrong, aren't you people? when are you getting round to yourself?

bimbos be like: matter over mind

now why did the lady who runs the bible study group that meets in here just ask the transsexual barista for a dollar to buy a loosie? and why tf did i give it to her?

Mamdani will be sworn in in the station that inspired the Turtles lair in TMNT 2: The Secret Of The Ooze

sometimes when i'm shuffling my library the song will switch from some sorta pussy-pop slut song to sufi "ya allah" type praise music before switching back again, and i can't help but feel like that's the universe reaching down through the algorithm to serve me a quick reminder

the government bugged the men's room in the local disco lounge

it's probably normal that if i'm in a good mood, and happen to think about any of my friends, i immediately well up with tears, right?

making weird noises to entertain yourself is one of life's most under appreciated pleasures

crazy how if you like a girl enough she can literally break your furniture and you'll be like, "no worries ☺️"

i rarely feel envious of straight/cıs people, except for every time i gotta pressure wash my insides before a date

You gotta stay 1-2 steps ahead of the DSM to give psychologists something to chase and write about

given how we're all bundles of mental illness and neuroses, sometimes it's hard 'work' being friends with my fellow trans women. but it is also some of the most rewarding 'work' i have ever done in my life

i keep experiencing this phenomenon where every new person i sleep with somehow completely changes the smell of my body odor to match theirs. it's like my own skin bacteria are so weak and pathetic they immediately cede ground to the invaders

a gag gift about how i'm mentally ill, and a gag gift about how i'm a stoner. can't say my folks don't know me

it's the least of the show's many problems, but whoever did all the hair on stranger things needs to be exiled from hollywood, kicked out of the guild, and have their tools melted down and turned into plowshares

every year i watch The Santa Clause (1994) with my folks, and every year my perception of scott calvin drifts yet further from "relatable loser with a good heart" towards "unrepentant turbo-schmuck who does not deserve to have a relationship with his son"

Free boob pic -> ( o Y o )

easy sometimes to fall into this trap of thinking "learning from my mistakes" means u-turning on vital parts of myself that didn't happen to please someone, when maybe the mistake was who i tried to please, not how

t4t is pretty good, but foot-freak4foot-freak puts it over the top

"different strokes for different folks" wait, you got different strokes? you holding out on me?!

i'm convinced whoever came up with the phrase "different strokes for different folks" had to be a gooner